void on a turtle
by octoyeti
Summary: When she tried to summon a familiar, Louise arrives onto a world on top of four elephants on top of a turtle. Can she handle the cultural choc and find her missing familiar?
1. the call of the grorbe

Books » Discworld » **void on a turtle** Author: octoyeti 1. the call of the grorbe 2. searching for the horizon 3. Night time conversation 4. differently citizen 5. meeting the Vimaire 6. polished rumor 7. the bun, the wand and the notes 8. the runaway's wardrobe 9. preparation 10. The smug criminal 11. the hourglass is running 12. Rincewind on a boat 13. Overbearing matriarchs Rated: T - English - Mystery/Humor - Reviews: 17 - Published: 10-08-17 - Updated: 09-14-18 id:12681555

 **Hello.**

This is my first fanfiction, and when I think about it, it's a strange blend for a crossover.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it.

I also await any critic and advise from you, be it about the writing, the presentation, or mistakes I made with the characters of either story.

I don't own either the Discworld nor FoZ.

 **(this chapter was edited the 4 March 2018)**

 **(27/09/2018)** thanks to a guest, I noticed that I forgot the "I" in the last sentence of the chapter, and corrected it.

* * *

Discworld, ############ (1) #######'s room.

Once again she tried to catch inspiration, and once again, the inspiration proved to be quite good at dodging a woman furious gesticulation.  
For half an hour, she was unable to write down anything. It should not be that complicated for a literary genius like to write down something good without trying. And yet she could not come up with an idea worth a thought.

*I bet Leonard of Quirm must have faced the same problem* (2), she thought to herself.*Only this genius can understand what I'm going through*.

Disheartened by her inability to come up with a good plot for her future, and first, best seller, she did not see an inspiration changing its trajectory to hit her. To be fair, she wouldn't have seen it anyway, but had she been calmer, maybe she would have been wary of how "contrived" this idea felt.

"but of course", she whispered, amazed by both this idea and her own genius. She sat down, took her crow feather(3), and started writing down her masterpiece.

And while she was writing, she was being watched.

 _(1)It is impossible to locate, for reasons unknown from the narrator (1.1)_  
 _(1.1) not really, but this information will spoil latter events._

 _(2) Leonard De Quirm, in his workshop, was unable to sleep because of the excess of inspirations. The poor man would like to understand what she is going through, but the universe was not having it._

 _(3) While the disc has pens, any author worth a grain of salt knew that a feather was way better, especially if the feather had a thematic relation to the text it will write._

* * *

HALKEGINIA, TRISTAIN ACADEMY OF MAGIC.

"miss Valiere, you may start the summoning."

As proud as she held herself, Louise was incredibly nervous. Failing this ritual would be a calamity for her. She would lose all status, all honor, and worse of all, she'll be a laughing stock for all those students, who succeeded with only a hundredth of the effort she had put in her work. She had seen all of them bare one, make imperfect incantations and half-assed preparation. And yet they all succeed. They all got to be lazy, to have fun in their free time, but to even stay in this school, she had to work hard every instant of the day. Life sure was unfair to her.

She could hear the complaints, the jokes, and the insults of her fellow student. But she barely listened to them. She had more important things in mind.

"my servant who live somewhere in the universe..."

* * *

DISCWORLD, UNSEEN UNIVERSITY.

The bursar was also very nervous, but that was normal for him. He had somehow managed to avoid Ridcully, mostly because the Arch-chancellor was busy screaming at the young Stibbons. Still, the bursar intended to find a nice and silent place to rest.

"HA, bursar, there you are... I was searching for you"

Too late. The dean was walking toward him. Now he could only say goodbye to his silent nap.

"the Arch-chancellor says he needs you. He wants you to accompany him on his morning swim(4), he thinks a bit of sport might be good for your nerves. He is waiting for you at the."

The dean stopped mid-sentence. Right between the two of them, a sort of bright green orb had appeared. It passed right in front of them, then entered the nearest room, before coming back in the hallway, then again in another room, and so on.

"What Is That?"

 _(4) Arch-chancellor Ridcully is known, among other things for being the only person to swim in the Ankh river, whereas the average person just walks on it._

* * *

"Wow zero, this is disappointing even for you."

"Not even an explosion? I'm happy nobody got hurt this time, but it sure is boring."

"SHUT UP! I just messed up, I'm Going to get it right this time" Those annoying, pretentious jerks. They ruined her concentration, and now she had to do it again. She really hoped for her familiar to be so powerful that it would make all of them speechless.

"STUDENTS! Please remain polite and do note disturb miss Valiere. She was silent when you were summoning, I expect the same kind of behavior from you." Louise was thankful that professor Colbert was supervising the summoning this year. Other teachers would not have lifted a finger to keep the students under control. "Please retry the summoning miss Valiere."

She sighed. Well this time, it was Going to work.

"my servant who live somewhere in the universe..."

* * *

The Librarian was peacefully drinking his new favorite beverage(5), reading a book on the secret techniques of bartending, when a green sphere entered the library, followed by the whole senior faculty of the UU.

"BURSAAAAR, DID YOU SUMMON THIS GREEN ORB TO AVOID TAKING A SWIM? HOW LAZY CAN YOU BE?"

"He did not summon it arch-chancellor. Otherwise, he would not have needed 4 dried frog pills"

"Well if he did not do it, then who. So far he is the only one benefiting from it. What is it anyway?"

"I think it must be some sort of spell? Hey, I think it is moving faster and more erratically!"

"Ooook"

"What do you mean it look like it's searching something. What would it search? And Is that a Genua brown?" Asked Ridcully.

"Oook"

"Well, there is at least ONE PERSON in this university who can appreciate a good drink." His voice carried a fair amount of barely hidden disgust.  
"is it the alcoholized version?"

"Eeek"

"well, it's better than nothing."

"Look, arch-chancellor, the orb is moving toward the High Energy Magic Department."

"Those annoying youngsters, they waste the university money, and now they meddle with grorbes..."

"With what?"

"with grorbes. This thing." said Ridcully, pointing toward the green floating object

"you know what it is?" The Dean asked.

"Of course not, Henry(6), but its green, and its an orb, and we need to give it a name. So I name it a grorbe" he started laughing "it's a nice one!"

The UU faculty imitated him, though it was obvious they did not get his joke.

"Well anyway, let's ask those youngsters what they're doing. Librarian, you're coming too."

 _(5) A few week ago, the mended drum hired a new bartender from Genua, a young man well versed in the art of cocktails. The librarian was rather fond of the banana, peanut butter, and macadamia nut, and even succeeded at reverse engineer the beverage. The Coffee, breadcrumb, butter, and milk is also a popular cocktail and commander Vimaire favorite._

 _(6) The real name of the dean._

* * *

"Please professor, let me try again."

"I'm sorry miss Valiere, but this will be your eighth try. I think it is time, you must face the fact" she could see that her teacher was not happy to say this. He clearly hoped she would succeed. But then, he had a point. She failed seven times, and she would probably fail another.

"Yeah Valiere, admit you are a zero!"

"Gramon! That would be seven days of suspension if you say anything more! And that is true for all of you. If you don't have constructive comments to give, then remain silent."

"Please professor. You know how much I work compared to the other students. Please let me try again." She was crying, barely standing up. Even her rival seemed to be somewhat sorry. Losing your status is never fun, even more so when you don't even have proper magic.

"Very well, but this is your last try. As for the other, you may leave, but what I said still apply."

Louise calmed herself slightly. She knew she would fail this time. She just did not want to admit defeat in front of the other students. At least professor Colbert was respectful enough to not mock her on her incoming failure.

"My familiar somewhere in the cosmos...(7)"

 _(7) She had given up on a perfect summoning now_.

* * *

"Stibbons what is a meaning of this?"

"Ho, arch-chancellor. I suppose you are talking about this spell of inter-dimensional nature?"

"GRORBES! It is called A GRORBES!"

"I see you know the correct terms, sir."

"Wait, what?" asked the lecturer in recent rune.

"Well, a similar phenomenon was observed under the direction of arch-chancellor Alberto Malik(8), and he decided to name it grorbe since it is a green sphere of light"

"AHA! I told you it was called that! Anyway, Stibbon, why did you created a grorbe when you could use the money we give you on something more productive?"

"Created it? The grorbe is not created. It is a very old spell, probably two thousand years old at least. That is the second time it is observed in two thousand years."

"STIBBONS! We do not care about that! What is this thing doing here?" The arch-chancellor wanted answers, and he would have them.

"Well, it appears to be searching for something."

"Searching what?" The dean asked.

"That's the fascinating part. We don't know. But this spell can supposedly locate anything. And it can't find what it is searching."

"Ooook" The librarian pointed at the grorbe(8) while sipping a mug of Genua brown. The grorbe was changing color, becoming bright red.

Suddenly, it exploded in a bright octarine(9) light, but without any sound nor explosive power.

When the UU staff opened their eyes, they were still blinded by the flash, but they could hear the sob of a young girl.

 _(8) We will be using this term from now on since it is apparently the academic denomination._

 _(9)Octarine is the eighth color of the spectrum, visible only by the mage and magical creatures._

* * *

Louise fell on her knee, hiding her in her hands. She had failed again. She did not even need to look. She just wanted to curl into a ball and forget everything...

"BURSAR! BURSAR! WHERE THE OUCH! WHOSE LEG WAS IT! TELL ME WHOSE LEG IT WAS!"

"Arch-chancellor, please do not scream. We are already blinded, we do not want to become deaf."

"SHUT UP AND FIND ME WHO HIT ME IN THE ARG. WHO WALKED ON MY FEET!"

Those where not voices she knew. Furthermore, they were talking Albionese, but with some weird accentuation.

"Ooook"

"WELL, YOU COULD BE CAREFUL. IF I DID NOT WEAR A PAIR OF DWARVEN SOCKS, IT WOULD HURT LIKE HELL."

"EEEK"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS A CHILD IN THE ROOM! STIBBONS IS YOUNG, BUT I AM SURE HE IS OLD ENOUGH TO HEAR. OUCH!"

"OOOOOOOOOOK"

"ANOTHER CHILD? THAT IS SOBBING? I DON'T HEAR IT!"

"Ooook"

Louise decided to look. As soon as she opened her eyes, she was met with a chaotic scene. Multiple old men, many young adults, and one orange creature. They were bumping into each other, screaming and complaining. Many measurement tools were laying on the floor, next to a completely immobile old man with an ear-to-ear smile. Multiple people were crawling on the ground and the orange creature was shaking one of the old men.

"I'm sorry Librarian, I did not want to punch your drink."

It then hit Louise. She did not know where she was, or how she arrived here.

"WHERE AM I?"

* * *

chapter end


	2. searching for the horizon

**this chapter was edited the 10 march 2018**

* * *

ANKH-MORPORK, UNSEEN UNIVERSITY

Louise, now sited on a comfortable chair, was facing a group of mage, and what she could only guess was one of their familiar(1), all looking at her with a very serious air. The familiar that they called "librarian", perhaps because it was assisting the management of the library, had fetched some drink made of fruit and nut, for everyone to drink. Some of the elders tried to object, but the arch-chancellor, the obvious highest authority in this room, did not want to hear about it, saying that "they must show cohesion and unity in front of an outsider". She could guess that those people did not mean her any harm and that they were as surprised as she was about that sudden change of location.

"So..." Asked one of the many corpulent wizards, the one the other called the dean. "you are a young noble from a prestigious family, coming from a country we have never heard, where you study magic at the great magic academy of Tristain, and you were trying to summon a familiar when you suddenly found yourself in the middle of our high energy department, where you saw our upstanding mage studying a mysterious object and not bumping into each other."

"you people where definitively bumping on..." She tried to say, before being cut by the lecturer in modern runs.

"you also seem to have hallucination from the student change of location. It's okay, it happens to the best of us"

"young girl." ask the arch-chancellor, " you want us to believe that you entered into our university by accident, with magic beyond your comprehension, and from a place we have never heard of? Do you realize

how implausible this story seem?"

"I am telling the truth! You must believe me!"

"Seem a rational explanation to me."

"Same"

"Oook."

"I have seen stranger things "

"it would not be impossible for a spell to dysfunction this way. "

Louise could not believe it. She was relieved, but she could not believe it. Those people were not even weirded out by what she told them. She knew she was telling the truth, but had she been in their shoes, she would not

believe herself.

"You believe me? Really?"

"Ook." said the librarian, whatever it meant.

"Well, you told us how you think you came here, I suppose it is more than fair we tell you where you ended up." the archchancellor told her. "Though, by the way you describe it, I would guess you're very far away from home."

"I supp-at is happeni-"

"- be the bell(2). That means it's -. You must get going, Arch-." Said the youngest of the mage, named Stibbons.

"What is happening? What-?" Louise tried to ask, before her voice being cut again.

"Nothing important young girl, just the bell of the university ringing 5 o'clock. As the arch-chancellor, I have a meeting with the city patrician. Librarian!"

"Oook."

"You're in charge while I'm off. Make sure the girl is well informed about her situation."

"Oook"

The arch-chancellor (she could not remember his name) left the room, leaving Louise with his subordinate and the librarian.

"So, miss Valiere was it?" demanded the dean.

"Yes. Louise Francoise le Blanc de la Valiere, sir"

"Well, miss Valiere... How much do you know about the theories of the alternative world?"

she looked at the man with empty eyes.

"The theories of WHAT..."

(1) I would like for all ape friend to be indulgent toward the young girl. Louise come from a culture that still has not discovered orangutan (I know, It's barbaric), and people turning into one by magic is even more alien to her mind

(2)The bell of the unseen university doesn't actually ring. It Unring. It Unring so strongly, that it create deafening silence every Unring.

* * *

ANKH-MORPORK, PATRICIAN PALACE.

Sometimes, municipality meetings are entertaining. Usually, it is entertaining right after Samuel Vimaire dismantled a conspiracy, or that Lipwig succeeds in whatever he was supposed to do, or when a new idea spread in the city. But this time, it was not entertaining. Crimes were low, for news of the "bring your kids to work" day was coming for the watch, and no criminal wanted Commander Vimaire to remember them as "that guy who made a mess when I was showing young Sam how to patrol". The assassination business, while still running, did slow down a bit, partly due to penury in cyanide, arsenic and many other chemicals product. The same

Penury also forced the alchemist guild to buy their ingredients from Klatch(3), but with the delay, they would only receive them in two weeks. It was that or the one sold by CMOT Dibbler, and while the alchemists are not afraid of risk, they know the line between bravery and foolishness. Hopefully. The seamstress's(4) and the beggar's guild were, however, proceeding as usual, without an itch.

This meeting was more a formality than anything. But Patrician Vetinari was determined to make those officials stay longer than necessary. It was one of his many tricks. Keep people bored during a meeting. Make things drag on forever. By the time they'll start to look at the window, almost every demand will be accepted. Also, keeping those people here longer allowed him to see which one of them had something big on the mind.

"Before we close this meeting, I have information, and proposal, to give you." He looked at Lord Downey, the leader of the assassin guild. The man kept looking at the window, signs that whatever he was thinking about, he deemed it more important than any proposition the patrician would give him. Not really a surprise, however, as Vetinari was already aware that Downey took a job for himself. The target was an independent feegle hidden somewhere in the Sto plain, and seven assassins, including 2 teachers, had already failed at the job and came back humiliated. It was obvious that Downey was thinking of a way to handle the tiny blue hellspawn.

"King Verence II of Lancre sent an invitation to almost every country he could think of for the celebration of his daughter Esmeralda Margaret Note Spelling birthday." With the exception of Downey and Ridcully, he could see every guild leader hold a smile. He did not know what Ridcully was preoccupied with, but it was wise to stay informed about the mage doing.

"Didn't he invited us for her baptisms?" Asked Queen Molly, of the beggar's guild.

"Indeed. And while we did not send anyone, I think favoring the relation between Ankh-Morpork and Lancre kingdom could be a good decision. Who, however, will go represent our city?" Vimaire, who was also, beside commander, ambassador of the city, tried to look away. Vetinari knew who was gonna represent the city. All the guild leader will take advantage of his status, and vote for him to go to Lancre. Vetinari took a look at the rest of the city officials. They were all looking at the Duck of Ankh(5), with the exception of the Archchancellor of the UU. Even Downey looked at Vimaire. Showing his disdain for mountain kingdom was more important than the confrontation with an alcoholic mayhem maker.

It was clear to the patrician that what happened at the UU was a priority. A mage more preoccupied than an assassin with a difficult job is not a good news.

They proceeded to the vote. Vimaire was designed to represent Ankh-Morpork, and the meeting ended on that. But right before Ridcully left the room, the patrician called him.

"Ridcully, if you would stay in the waiting room, I have important matters to talk with you later."

He did not wait for an answer. Drumknott closed the door behind Ridcully, who, if the footsteps where any indication, went to the waiting room. Just like asked.

"Drumknott, go get the newspaper. Page 5. I need to finish today's crosswords."

(3) Klatch is the country on the other side of the circular sea.

(4) Hum Hum.

(5)Samuel Vimaire cumulates many title and function, and he is not happy about it.

* * *

ANKH-MORPORK, UNSEEN UNIVERSITY

If you said to someone that you came from a far-off land, where you failed a summoning ritual that teleported you in the middle of another magical university, most people would call you crazy.

If your interlocutor told you this new land you are stuck in is a disc on the back of four gigantic elephants, an animal considered by most as some sort legend(6), themselves on the back of a colossal turtle, an animal you have never heard of before, you will call them crazy.

"THAT MAKE NO SENSE! WHAT EVEN IS A TURTLE!"

"a turtle is a reptile characterized by its shell."

"YOU ALREADY EXPLAINED THAT! I NEVER SEEN A TURTLE IN MY LIFE! HOW CAN I BE STANDING ATOP ONE! AND IF A FLAT WORLD IS ON THE BACK OF FOUR ANIMAL, IT WOULD FALL AT THE FIRST TURN! YOUR THEORIES DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"

"Oook."

"SHUT UP! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT OOOK MEAN! AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN?! WHO'S FAMILIAR ARE YOU?!"

The librarian looked at her with one of the most insulted expression an ape can pull of. In his shock, he let fall his glass of Genua brown, spreading the sweet beverage all around him. The Dean and the lecturer in modern rune put there hand on his shoulder, more to try to stop him from attacking a young girl than to reassure him. Even in his state, the bursar, who was seated between the girl and the ape tried to get away from the two. Louise, seeing the librarian trembling, realized she may have messed up, and tried to make herself as small as possible. Nobody said anything until Stibbons broke the silence.

"Miss Valiere, The librarian is a free man. Well, a free ape anyway. He is nobody's familiar, and he is an upstanding member of our university."

"I'm sorry... I did not mean to..."

"Ooook." said the librarian, turning his back to Louise, arms crossed, a very disappointed look on his face.

"What did he say?"

"He said that while he is very insulted that you believed he was a form of servants, he is ready to forgive you, since you come from a culture where apes are not common and you are lost, on the condition that you

apologize for carrying the belief that only human can be librarians, that you promise to stop being a speciesist, and that once you got enough money, you will pay him back the glass of Genua brown he wasted because

of you." translated the chair of indefinite study.

"Did he really said all that in a single word?"

"It's a really efficient language." answered the dean "Do you apologize and promise?"

"I'm sorry I called you a familiar"

"Oook?"

"What..?"

"He said: And?"

"And I'm sorry I held beliefs that are rude to you, and I promise I won't do it again"

"Ook!"

"Well, you are forgiven, young girl. But don't go saying that again!"

"I'm sorry I said something means, but it still doesn't change that a flat world is too much for me to believe."

The mages looked at each other. They were native from the disc. for them, the shape of their world not to be proved. But how could they convince a someone that never lived here?

"What shape is your world?" Asked the Stibbon.

"It's round. It was demonstrated by various mages, using things such as the shadow of monuments, or the horizon."

They all started thinking about how to demonstrate the flatness of the world to a round earther.

"Oooook"

"hmmm. That might work."

"Might? Come on, Henry, this is guaranteed to work."

"What? What are you gonna show me?"

The librarian moved toward the windows, then pointed at it with a smile.

"Looking outside? I don't get how that would help."

Right under the window, she could see the twin city of Ankh-Morpork, unlike any city she had ever witnessed. The many small, dirty and shaky house surrounded old stone building like briar imprisoning an abandoned house. The people in the street looked small and numerous, but they were too disorganized to be compared to ants. A swarm of gnat and flies feasting on a rotting fruit was more like it. This city was not a glorious one. Not in the way glorious was used. It was impressive, just like being able to eat rotten meat without getting ill is impressive. She could only wonder how people would decide to live here.

Looking up, she then saw an ocean and heard the distant voice of Stibbons tell it was the rim ocean. She was taken aback by How far it went. Her gaze went up, and she could still see the ocean.

It then hit her. The ocean looked so big, not because it was bigger than the one she saw back at Halkeginia, but because it had no horizon. She was seeing it in its full size. By concentrating, she could even see some island. Eventually, however, her gaze reached the border of the ocean.

but It was no shore. The water was simply falling. In some possibly unending void. She could see clearly the line where this abyss started.

She fell on her knee, for the second time since she woke up this morning. She really was on top of a flat world, on top of multiple animals she never heard of. But the biggest shock was realizing that the mages were telling

the truth. She was in another world. She was not even far away. There was no way home, no path to lead her back to her family. To her peoples, she was as lost as a dead person. To herself, her own world was lost forever.

She fell unconscious, on the ground, in this place she did not belong.

(6) As mentioned in the first annotation, Louise does not know a lot of animal species we are familiar with.

* * *

ANKH-MORPORK, PATRICIAN PALACE

Ridcully hated the waiting room. The sits were designed to be just uncomfortable so that you could not feel right. And the clock. The clock was the worse. Vetinari had the clockmaker guild make this one specifically to annoy people. It's oscillation where irregular so that it was impossible to concentrate on anything while the clock was in your hearing range. The whole waiting room was made to ensure that when you would meet the patrician, you were a nervous wreck, and vulnerable to any attempts at manipulation. Vetinari was very good at putting every chance on his side.

Drumknott opened the door of the oval office.

"The patrician Havelock Vetinari will receive you, sir"

The arch-chancellor was happy to get away from the clock, but he was not delighted to have an "important matter" to discuss with the patrician. Usually, the one that had "important matter" to discuss with the patrician where Vimaire and Lipwig.

"Ah. Arch-chancellor. Thank you for waiting. Please take a seat" the patrician motioned "It occurred to me that there have been very few incidents in the university since last year event. I suppose that your subordinate and coworker stopped meddling with things they shouldn't meddle with?"

"Yes. I have been extra careful to background check every magical object to come in our possession."

"Very good. I guess then that nothing unexpected happened recently?" Ridcully started to understand where the conversation was going. The patrician was trying to get him to tell him what happened earlier today. On one hand, Vetinari was perhaps simply testing to see if anything was hidden from him, and did not know that something happened.

But perhaps he knew. He was Vetinari after all. And in that case, he probably wanted to remind Ridcully that you could not hide things from him.

"I asked you a question arch-chancellor. You could at least be polite enough to answer"

"Yes. Something happened."

"Ho! And what did happen then?"

"We may have witnessed a reverse summoning, and met with a being from another world."

"An otherworldly being? I hope it's not a dangerous monster."

"Worse. It's a child."

"A child? How can a child be worse than a monster?"

"Well, there have been more arch-chancellor killed by a child then by beasts."

"Hum. That's a fair point. And who exactly is this child?"

"She is the daughter of a prestigious noble family from her own world, and she is also a student of a magical academy there. She ended up at the university because of one of her summoning spell malfunctioned. Well, according to her."

"Hmmm. And how did you intend to handle that? Or perhaps it happened earlier today, so you did not think of a solution yet."

"The latter. We did not expect such a situation to happen."

"I see. Well, for now, invent a justification for her presence at Ankh-Morpork. Something credible. I will consider our option. You may leave now."

Ridcully left the patrician palace. Well, Vetinari is not a monster, but even if he knew the patrician would be reasonable, he couldn't help but be worried during their little talk. Anyway, he hoped that everything was going fine

At the university. What could have Gonne wrong?


	3. Night time conversation

ANKH-MORPORK, MENDED DRUM.

The Mended Drum. The most famous bar in the city of Ankh-Morpork, famous disc wide for its brawls and its 'rustic' charm. Well, the brawls are more cosmetic than anything, and people in search of a good fight would probably favor some of the other Morporkian bars, like the troll head(1). But today, it is the mended drum we care about. Or, more accurately, the mages who came here for a drink after a pretty eventful day. It was unusual, even for mages of the Unseen University, to observe the reverse summoning of a teenage girl from another world.

After Louise fell unconscious, they put her in Rincewind old room, since the wizzard was probably going to be gone for a while(2). After dinner, they went to the bar.

"What did the patrician say?" asked the lecturer in modern runes.

"He said that nobody had to know about her origin."

"I don't see why it need to be such a secret."

"Exactly. It does not matter, what's gonna happen if people know where she is from? They gonna ask her to tell them what it's like, and that's all. Vetinari is too cautious sometime."

"Gloook." said the librarian while drinking his beverage.

"What? Why would they do that? That makes no sense."

"Ooook." he took a handful of peanut.

"I don't think any secret society or evil mastermind will try to use her for anything. She said it herself. She couldn't cast a spell even if her life depended on it."

"Her spell explode sir. It's a huge success compared to Rincewind, and he tends to get involved with a lot of weird stuff." said the chair of indefinite study.

"Well yeah, but why would secret conspiracy need explosion anyway. It would not serve them at all. Not secret enough."

"How would you know, sir, you are not part of any secret society."

"AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW I'M WRONG, YOU'RE NOT IN ANY EITHER."

With the sudden burst of voice, the Bursar hit the table with his knee in a startled jump, knocking everybody's drink.

"How, come on!"

"Bursar, dammit!"

"It was still half full!"

"Oook!"

"This time, it's on your pay, bursar!"

"Ididnotknewtabledrankthatmuchofpeanut."

"And stop saying incoherent things. Moving on, did Stibbons and the high energy department made any progress on their study of the grorbe?"

"No. He was talking about how it did seem to rely mostly on a form of magic that is plentiful but impossible to detect(3)."

"Then what is a point of this magic if you don't perceive it."

"I don't know. When I asked him to explain in more detail, he simply started showing me some math."

"I still don't understand how those youngsters managed to put math in magic." said Ridcully. When you come from the Ramtop, abstract concept and speculative work seem kinda absurd.

"I know right. But he said it might lead to some great magical discovery."

(1) The shades are dangerous. Don't go there.

(2) He is currently running from pirates on the dehydrated ocean. Pirates who still don't know they are followed by a furious luggage.

(3) Think the magical equivalent of dark matter.

* * *

ANKH-MORPORK, PATRICIAN PALACE, LEONARD OF QUIRM CHAMBER/PRISON

Vetinari liked Leonard. The inventor had created many dangerous weapons and imagined way more tool of death than it should be allowed, and yet he had not an ounce of malice in his body. The man simply enjoyed to let his mind wander, and sometimes (all the time), it came back with ideas. Leonard was just not very regarding about the content of the ideas, although he did make effort. Since that Leshp incident (4), he started destroying some of his inventions he deemed too dangerous for mankind, although he still kept a majority of them.

Leonard was also a very intelligent man, and Vetinari enjoyed talking to him. Today, he mentioned the arrival of an otherworldly person. Not otherworldly as in marvelous. A person who was literally from another world.

"As of now, she is at the unseen university."

"Oh, so the mages watch over her?"

"No, they are currently drinking at the mended drum. And they can barely watch over themselves, let alone a young girl, anyway."

"You are harsh on them, sir. I'm sure they are doing their best."

"I did not say they were not."

"Now that is even harsher. Besides, you told me that nobody else knew about her, so there is nothing wrong with them enjoying their youth."

"They are your age, Leonard. They're not young anymore."

"Ho!"

The patrician looked over the maestro's shoulder. He was drawing a picture of a field at night, with two moons, cat peoples, and lizard folks, all running from the fight between a dragon and a man with a horned helmet.

"What is it?"

"I'm just imagining what this other world could look like. The way I see it, it would be a place of wonders and dangers, with many buried treasures guarded by ferocious unde... I mean, ferocious differently livings."

"Well, perhaps it is like that. Although, two moons seem unlikely."

The patrician kept looking at the maestro working. It was fascinating. You could see him work on an idea, then have another and implementing it where he could until Leonard had to get another sheet because he has no place anymore. Right now, he was writing a fictional language in the sky of his drawing. To be fair, it did look good, the tiny symbols looking like clouds if you took a step back.

"Havelock, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes?"

"Where do you intend to make the girl stay, since you don't seem to trust the mages of the University?"

"I intend to find someone with enough knowledge about the culture and polities of the disc to give her the education she needs to function properly in our world."

"Ah, yes. But this person would need to be kind, or at least moral enough to not take advantage of that poor girl vulnerability."

"That is correct. To tell the truth, they are two peoples who could qualify for that role."

"Really? And who are those persons?"

"One is a famous tutor known for her great skill in education. She has never failed to educate a child, and her methods are what some would call avant-gardist. However, she usually works with younger children."

He looked at the window, toward the richer part of the city.

"The other is a dragon caretaker."

(4) read Jingo.


	4. differently citizen

CHAPTER 4

ANKH-MORPORK, UNSEEN UNIVERSITY

A "breakfast" at the unseen university is a sight to behold. If there is a thing that the mages love above all else, it is food. Not one kind in particular, just food in general. They can stay a whole day at the table, eating so much that they can barely walk afterward. It is no wonder many mages are fat.

It is a sight to behold, but only for a short while. After half an hour, it can become quite boring if you are not fond of overeating. Which was the case with Louise. She did like foods the food, but not to that point. She woke up this morning, only to find herself alone, in a room that was not the one she was used to. a quick look at the window had confirmed that, No, she did not dream being sent to another world. Also, she noted, there are prettier sights in the morning than Ankh-Mopork. When she exited the room(1), She came face to face with a maid. Ridcully instructed her to bring Louise to the dining hall, so she could eat before continuing the conversation they started yesterday. While Louise was happy to eat, especially since the food was good, she quickly grew bored of the sheer length of the meal. The only mage that was not eating was the bursar because he was trembling so much that any food he tried to put in his mouth simply fell back on the plate.

"Louise, are you alright? You've barely eaten anything." said the dean.

"I think I ate enough."

"WHAT?" exclaimed Ridcully "NO! Small as you are, a sneeze could kill you. You should eat more, otherwise you're never going to grow"

"I am not small. It's just you people who are fat."

"We are not."

"Wait, Henry, she is right, you guy should do more physical work." Ridcully took an instant to think. "I KNOW! Why not show the city around to our host with a bit of jogging."

"It's a wonderful idea, Arch-chancellor. Meanwhile, we are gonna prepare..."

"No meanwhile, you indefinite teacher. We all do the running. It will be good for you lazy body."

"But..."

"Everyone, stop eating. That count for you bursar. A bit of running is good for the nerve. I think."

"I prefer swimming in the ground." Said the mad wizard.

"Well, the Ankh river is for another day, my friend. Girl, are you used to exercise?"

"A little, but if it is a bit a running, I think I can manage."

"Alright, let's go, we have a city to show!"

Ridcully started pushing the mages towards the door of the Dinning all, followed by Louise, who was blissfully unaware of what a short run was for Ridcully.

Right when they approached the door, it opened, revealing Drumknott, the secretary of patrician Havelock Vetinari.

"Good morning, gentlemen. I can see you were preparing to go outside."

"Yes, those lazy mages need some exercise, and the girl needs to visit the city."

Drumknott took a look at Louise. " Are you sure people won't ask questions about her. Her hair color is quite unusual."

"Hey, my hair is beautiful, and not weird at all. Some People I know have stranger hair, like blue or green."

"A terrible choice, really."

"Drumknott!" Intervened the arch-chancellor."What is the reason for your presence?"

"The patrician sends me to bring the girl to him. He wishes to meet her, and talk to her."

"Mmph. I guess it is normal for me to meet someone as important."

"Indeed miss Valiere. Now, if you would please follow me, I have a coach waiting outside of the university."

While Louise went with Drumknott, Ridcully turned toward the mages.

"You guy also need a coach, in my opinion."

"Well, it's true walking is kind tiring."

"NOT THAT KIND OF COACH, MORRON! A TRAINING COACH! NOW FOLLOW ME! The girl may not come with us, but you are gonna learn the pleasure of a jog, I tell you!"

* * *

From the window of the coach, Louise could see the street of Ankh-Morpork. It was as dirty as it looked from far away. But what Louise remarked was the huge diversity of the population in this city. Beyond the humans with many skin color and facial features, the streets where full of short and stout people she could guess where dwarves, as well as gigantic humanoids made of stone. And she was sure she saw a vampire conversing with an undead in a guardsmen uniform. How could so many people of different species coexist? She could understand dwarves cohabiting with humans, even in Halkeginia they were serious and would leave you alone provided you did the same, But vampires where dangerous creatures of the night, with a history of either killing peoples or turning them into slaves. And this one did not even wait for the night to come out. She could only wonder how many accidents happened in this city. She promised the Librarian to try and stop being specist, but there was some creature that you simply should not trust. Like elves. You simply could not trust elves(2). She really hoped the people here were aware of that.

"How many people live in this city, sir?" She asked.

"The last census estimated around 100 000 souls, excluding the people that don't have one."

"This is enormous. How do you get the food to feed such population? Just those giant stone peoples must be hard. What Are they called?"

"Trolls, miss Valiere."

"Really? Are you sure? I never met a troll personally, but from what I studied, trolls are made of flesh and too wild to live in society."

"I can assure that those are trolls, they would tell you exactly that if you asked them. Perhaps your tutors were full of preconceived ideas. Or perhaps in your world trolls are something different."

"Well, anyway, those trolls must eat as much as two mages. How can the city stay well fed with this many 'peoples' in it?"

"The trolls eat stones, so they do not need the same kind of food as others. And we export a lot of products and services to the outside world, which gives us the wealth to buy food from the stop plain and from Klatch. Our city host Many services used disc-wide by many peoples, like the clacks."

"The what?"

"The clacks. They are the tower you can see on the roof of certain houses."

"I thought they where watchtower."

"The watch doesn't need those, they got gargoyle for that. The clacks allow for the transmission of messages to faraway places and with great speed."

"That's impressive!"

"Indeed." The coach entered the patrician palace court. "Miss Valiere, we have arrived. Please follow me."

Louise walked right behind Drumknott inside the Palace. It was, unlike the rest of the city, very clean and proper, and was a size she could expect from a noble in charge of a city. It was decorated plainly, but with taste. She could guess that this patrician was not of the decadent leader kind. It was rather good news.

Drumknott led her to the waiting room before the oblong office, then entered to tell his master of the arrival of Louise. The short time she spent in the waiting room was enough to put her on the edge. A broken clock is very annoying. After a while, Drumknott opened the door.

"Miss Valiere, the patrician will receive you."

"At last. I think I need to mention that the clock is broken."

"I will see that it is repaired then. Now if you would come in."

The oblong office was like the palace: sober and simple. It contained a writing desk, on which a fair amount of paperwork laid, and a few chairs in front of it for people to sit. Near the window, there was another table, with a game of chess on it. The only drink on the patrician table was a glass pitcher of water, with a few glasses to serve the drink. It was the kind of office of someone who takes their work very seriously.

The patrician Vetinari was standing in front of the chess board, looking by the window. He was a tall and thin man, almost frail, all clad in black, with short black hair combed backward. His skin was pale, in strong contrast with his cloth, hair, and his eyes. He had a small and neatly cut goatee, which gave him a cunning look. Or perhaps he would look cunning and smart whether he wore a goatee or not.

"I suppose you looked at the city on your way here. Tell me, miss Valiere, what do you think of what you have seen so far?" He turned to face Louise, staring at her right in her eyes. She felt a chill when he put his gaze on her. It was calculating, without one ounce of distraction. It was much like her mother's gaze, but without the motherly love that was hinted in Karin's eyes.

"I-I-I thinks this is a very nice city full of-of respectable citizen and with a very 'peculiar' charm." she lied. But she really did not want to anger this man, especially if she was to stay in Ankh-Morph for a while.

"Then I might fear that you came from a very terrible world if this is what you think of it." He looked at her, clearly not fooled by her lie. "Ankh-Morpork is a city filled with selfish people who act almost only to fulfill their desire for distraction and amusement. They are not, in any way, respectable." He took the chair behind the desk, sitting right in front of Louise.

"To tell the truth, I think a city where vampire and troll can move freely is a terrible idea, and yet it still hasn't fallen into chaos. I mean, what's next, undead in the high instances of the government?" She tried to stare back, but quickly realized she could not hold his gaze and quickly looked away but in a pretentious way. She did not want it to look like she lost to that man.

"Well, I must inform you that the leader of the Ankh-Morpork lawyer guild is, in fact, a beheaded man." the smallest hint of a smirk on his face could barely be seen. "I wonder, however, what your homeland must be like if you are so wary of the differently living."

"The what?"

"The differently living. Undead carry a negative imagery, while differently living does not. It is a more respectful term"

"Why would I want to be respectful toward undead." People in this city where certainly mad. She thought the mages were kind of dumb, but this took the cake. A city where undead, as in people who were dead, had the same right as the living was just... If this world had a Brimmir, this would not have happened.

She took a quick look at Vetinari. He was still looking at her in the same way, but somehow, she could feel like he was annoyed by her behavior.

"Miss Valiere, I suppose that your view of the differently living, and perhaps other creatures and peoples you will meet on the disk, is seen as normal in your world. However, the disc is very different in the way (we) treat those people. I would be thankful if you could abide by the same the rules as any citizen of Ankh-Morpork as long as you stay here. Now, let's talk about the nature of your stay. The mages have already started to work on, or at least study, the nature of the magic that brought you here. Are you aware of that?"

"Yes. They told me this morning that they put Stibbons on the job."

"Typical of them. Anyway, since we cannot anticipate the length of your stay, we, and by that I mean I, decided to find you a home." Said Vetinari

'Brimmir, he is still staring. I don't even think I saw him blink.' thought Louise. " You mean I cannot stay with the mages? But I am a mage too. Besides I could probably help them."

"Or you could leave them alone to do their work. They can work on such a subject because they have earned a great degree of skills in the field of magic. You, however, are merely a neophyte in any of the subjects they will work on."

"But... But what I am going to do then. And I still haven't finished that book at the library."

"I am not forbidding you the access to the University. However, I was under the impression that you were a noble, correct?"

"Yes. I am indeed noble. Of the proud Valiere family." She beamed with pride and confidence, before realizing that this had no effect on the patrician.

"Well, it would be unfitting of a noble to live in a university where they don't study. For that reasons, You will live with another noble family of high ranking, who is going to teach you the manner of our city."

"I guess you're right..."

"Indeed, I am right"

"But I'm not supposed to tell who I am. Wouldn't they try to know the truth about me?"

"No. And even if they learned it, they won't reveal it to the rest of the world."

"Can I trust them?"

"Yes. And one of them should arrive before long." He stopped looking at her, and turned his gaze at the paperwork on the table, before starting writing on it. A long silence fell on the room and lasted a while before Louise broke it.

"Lord Vetinari."

"Yes miss Valiere?" He did not even raise his head to look at her.

"..." The young girl remained silent, hesitating.

"If you have a question, ask it."

"How long do you think I will have to wait before going home."

"well..." His answer was cut by Drumknott entering the room, walking toward his master, and whispering something in his ear. Vetinari put down his pen, then stood up.

"Miss Valiere, I believe your future host as arrived." He said, pointing at the door.

Louise turned toward it, right when an imposing woman entered. She was tall, with broad shoulder and of heavy build. She looked like the kind of statue barbarian would pray for power and resilience and many other things. But despite her stature, she had a very kind and warm expression, the kind of face you could trust. She wore well-made clothing, but they were working clothes, with sturdy leather apron and gloves over a thick gardening outfit.

"Good afternoon Havelock." Said the newcomer, calling the patrician by his first name, the sign of a very confident person "So, is this the young girl you told me about?"

"Indeed. Sybil," started the patrician "this is Louise Françoise le Blanc de la

Valiere. Miss Valiere, let me introduce you to her grace Lady Sybil Deirdre Olgivanna Ramkin-Vime, Duchess of Ankh."

"You mean she is a duchess?" Louise was expecting some secondary noble with little fame. But A duchess, like her mother? She did not expect this much.

"Indeed young girl." said Sybil. "Havelock told me about how you are in a complicated mess right now, and that you need someone to take care of you while you are in Ankh-Morpork. The Vime household would be very glad to help you and show you the culture of the city. Now, I'm sure my son will be very happy to have someone to play with him."

Louise looked at the woman, mouth agape, unable to move. This woman was a duchess, but she was nothing like her mother. But at least, she will live in a mansion worth of her own status as a daughter of a duke and Duchess.

"Now then, young girl, let's not make Willikins wait. He is our butler, by the way. And he is waiting outside of the palace with the Coach. I have to show you around the house before Sam come back, he is not aware that someone will stay with us." She realized Louise was silent "Don't worry, I'll make sure Ankh-Morpork is as comfortable as your own home while you stay with us..."

She took Louise by the wrist and dragged her out of the room after saluting Vetinari.

 _(1) who apparently belonged to a wind mage titled Rincewind._

(2) People on the disc have a legitimate reason to be wary of elves.

CHAPTER END.


	5. meeting the Vimaire

Well. Here is the fifth chapter, later than what was planned. I think i'm gonna stop pretending i can follow a tight shedule, and mostly just update when i can.

So, the situation havent changed, i still dont own familiar of zero and the discworld.

Anyway, i would like to know if any of you have advice to make the description and dialogue less... rigide. Also, if any of you know how to write well the character of Sacharissa Cripslock and

Otto Chriek, i would be really thanksfull, since i intend to have them do something in the later chapter, and i'm not that familiar with them.

I also want to thanks everyone who has started following me or my story, and also everyone who is reading it.

Have a nice read.

* * *

"We put them both under custody, sir." said the captain of the watch, Carotte Ironfounderson. "Tomorrow we will let them go, but for now i think that we should have them cool down after that fight." He was walking next to the Commander of the watch, Samuel Vimaire.

" is the last thing we needed right now. A freaking mage getting in a fistfight with Dibbler." said the commander." Did we found why the bursar attacked?"

"It seem that his meat in a bun fell on the ground. That all we know. Perhaps it is really important for a mage"

"Well, they sure don't joke with food, those guys..." They finally arrived in front of the Ramkin Manor. " You'd want to come in. Just to discuss, talk with Sam, all that,"

"I have to decline sir. They need me to manage the night service."

"So they don't need me? Is that it?"

"They do need you as a commander, sir. But you're also needed by your family. And beside, Right now the city is calm. I think you can take that opportunity to spend some time with your family."

"Well, alright. But it's a shame you're not coming, Sam really likes you." Samuel Vimaire junior was at that age where you really, really like heroes, and Carotte was the definition of the word in every dictionary. It was therefore not a surprise that the child admired him. "have a good night then."

"You too sir. Say hi to your family for me." Carotte started walking away, going back to the Watch post.

Vimaire took a cigar, and enjoyed for a short moment the silence of the street. Damn, he liked that city at night. After a quick silent wait, he walked toward his home.

Willikins, the Vime-Ramkin butler opened the door right before Vimaire. As always.

"Good evening, sir. You are coming home early..."

"It was a pretty calm day. So, how was the house while I was off? No assassin caught in the traps?"

"Not today sir. Nothing unusual aside from the guest." said the butler.

Vimaire took a long look at Wilikins.

"What guest?"

"I thought that the patrician would have informed you. Well, I think you should talk about it with lady Ramkin, she is more informed about it than me." he said, while hanging Vimaire's cloak. "She is in the living room, along with the young master and the host."

"Wilikins, can you not call my son "the young master"? It is a bit weird." With the help of the butler, he took off his armor. "But yeah, I'm gonna ask Sybil what this is all about."

Vimaire could hear people talking from the living room. There was his wife, but also the voice of a much younger girl. From the voices alone, he would guess the visitor to be around 12 to 14 year old. If the patrician was involved, than that young girl was important. And at that age, the only importance you could have was being related to someone of great influence. That, or you were actually a vampire with the appearance of a child. The nastiest trickery there is.

Vimaire entered into the room. His wife was sitting on her usual armchair, speaking to a frail young girl with pink hair, while young Sam was drawing important member of the city's Watch with crayon. And this time, he made almost no spelling mistake in their name.

His son seemed to notice him first. "Look dad. I drew You and Carotte and Angua and Dretitus and Cheery and Nobby and Colon..."

"Very good Sam. But its Detritus, no Dretitus. But it still is a beautiful drawing . I'm gonna hang it in my office." He turned toward his wife and the young girl. "So... Who is this young girl?"

"That's Louise, Dad." said young Sam.

The young girl stood up and did a quick bow. "It's an honor to meet you, lord Vimaire. My name is Louise Françoise Leblanc de la Valiere. Your wife accepted on the patrician's request to lodge me for the duration of my stay in Ankh-Morpork "

oh great. This kid was a noble, and not from the city. She was probably the kind that thinks they are above everyone else and all that.

"Hum, Sybil, may I talk with you for a bit"

"Is it about Louise, Sam?"

"NO no! it's not about that..." This was clearly a lie. He should have prepared his answer better.

The couple went to the hallway, out of hearing range of both their son and the newcomer.

"Sam, what is it about!?"

"You accepted to lodge this girl? Why? Vetinari is clearly putting us in charge of something big..."

"So what... We are to let a young girl far away from her home alone in this city? It was the right thing to do."

"But Vetinari could have found another family... There are many nobles in this city, it's time some of them find some use."

"Well, aren't you always saying that they are morons who never could succeed in the easiest task?"

"And this girl would fit right in."

"SAM. I know you don't like being called a lord, but this girl was not aware of that. And if you believe that she is truly that kind of noble, why not be a good role model. For her and for your son."

"But..."

"No but, Sam. Anyway, i already agreed, and it happens that (our?) son took a liking on her. You could make an effort..."

"...I... Okay, fine, I will try to not be too rude."

"Good. Now go introduce yourself to her."

* * *

Well, it was not looking good. That Vimaire seemed not to like her introduction. Maybe there was a proper way to address a duke in ankh-Morpork. O Brim, Did she insult him with her behavior? That would be bad, She did not want any trouble.

The couple eventually came back. Lady Ramkin gave her an encouraging smile. Maybe thing would not be that bad after all.

"You introduced yourself earlier..." Started Vimaire while taking a sit " Now it's my turn. I am The commander Samuel Vimaire of the city's Watch, they must have told you that already. While i am also technically a duke, I am not that fond of the title, so avoid calling me Lord." He took a quick look at his wife, like if he was asking if that was enough. She motioned to continue. "You are welcome to stay in our residence for as long as you need it. From what my wife told me, she will be teaching you the customs of Ankh-Morpork, and if you need to know something about the streets of the city, just ask. May you stay be comfortable, or something like that."

Louise was... Shocked. A duke that does not treat his title with due respect, have basically no elegance in his phrasing, and looks like some commoner taken directly off the street. A very dirty street. What could Lady Ramkin possibly see in him?

"It is very nice to meet you, sir." She still wanted to keep the appearances, and she had no need to antagonize him.

"You don't need to fake it, kiddo. i can see I'm not what you..."Started Vimaire, before being interrupted by his wife.

"SAM!" Lady Ramkin looked more annoyed than angry. "Well, it is getting late, so why don't we go take the dinner. I'm sure you are tired Louise, it was a pretty eventful day for you"

"wellsomeofusgotaprettyboringday" mumbled Vimaire, being completely ignored by everyone in the room.

* * *

Stibbons knew he was on to something. A spell that can allow multidimensional displacement is not something that every mage would miss. If Alberto Malik made reference to the Grorbe, then that meant that the spell was cast two thousand years ago... But according to Louise, most of the beings summoned come from the same world as her. Either she was trying to cast another spell and messed it up so much skill that she casted the Grorbe spell, or perhaps the Grorbes spell only activate when certain condition are met...

He needed to know more. This was perhaps the greatest discovery of the last millennia. He had to see it though.

Malich's note mentions multiple times a certain book, named "theories and applications of dimensional displacement and travel". This book was supposed to be in the library, but the librarian told him "Ooook", which could be translated as "this book was sold long ago, before I even became librarian, by an Arch-chancelor that needed money for food and seamstress..."

Curse whoever sold it. Now he would have to investigate to locate that book.

* * *

After the dinner, Vimaire went to tuck his son to bed, and read him a bedtime story. Louise had a short conversation about the swamp dragon Lady Sybil had shown her earlier. They really where pitiful creatures. How could anybody want those unstable lizards as pet was beyond her.

After a while, Vimaire came back in the dining room, and told his wife that young Sam wanted his goodnight kiss. Sybil went out of the room, leaving Louise and Vimaire alone in the room.

"So..." Started the commander. " How is your stay in Ankh-Morpork?"

"... I'm sorry, weren't you going to ask me where I am from?"

"Vetinari did not tell it to my wife, so I suppose it is not really relevant. 'side, a kid's a kid no matter where they're from..."

"I-I'm not a kid!" She almost screamed. " I am a 16 year old woman of the nobility , and I deserve all the respect that come with it!"

"You're 16?" He looked at her, as if she just told him a joke.

"Yes! Is there a problem?"

"Well damn. Does your parent even feed you? I would have thought rich kids ate enough. You're almost as small as i Was at your age." His looked changed to one of pity, as if he was shocked and disappointed that she was so small.

"How dare you pretend that my parent don't care about me! They feed me well enough, it's just that i don't like to eat too much. And They ... They..." She tried to find memory of her parents being kind to her, but it was true that they were sort of distant and stern with their kids. Not that Louise would ever admit it "They... They still haven't disinherited me, despite all my failures."

"WHAT? Kid, if that's the only thing you could come up to defend them, then maybe you should reconsider their affection. And where are they right now anyway? Did they dump you in Ankh-Morpork so they wouldn't have to deal with you?"

That was too much. How could this man with absolutely no class and respect for the nobility could insult her parents in such a way. Her parent send her at Tristain academy so that she could improve and finally cast spells. And they had nothing to do with her being sent to Ankh-Morpork.

"MY PARENTS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ME ENDING UP HERE! THE ONLY PLACE THEY SEND ME OFF TO WAS THE ACADEMY OF MAGIC OF MY HOMELAND, AND IT WAS FOR MY OWN GOOD! THEY DID NOT NEGLECT ME, AND THEY MAY HAVE BEEN ROUGH IN THEIR EDUCATION, BUT THAT ONLY MADE ME HARDER! THEY CARE ABOUT ME. RIGHT NOW THEY ARE PROBABLY SEARCHING FOR ME AND MUST BE DESPERATE ABOUT MY DISAPPEARANCE! THEY ARE SEARCHING FOR ME! They are searching for me... I hope."

After Louise's outburst, there was a long silence in the room. Vimaire looked at her with even sadder eyes.

"I'm sorry if I insulted your family. And I'm sorry I was rude to you." He said.

There was no answer from Louise

"I think you should go rest. You may stay in this house as long as you want, until you find your family back." He put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but she pushed it aside.

"...yes." She went out of the room with a passive aggressive walk.

Vimaire stayed alone in the room, before Sybil came back and broke the silence.

"SAM! I saw Louise going to her room with a very annoyed look. What did you say to her?"

"I may have been rude to her. She did not even take my apology."

Sybil let out a long sight. "Well, at least you apologized."

"Sybil, Do you have any idea why Vetinari put that girl under our charge?"

"Well, maybe he thinks you are the most qualified to help her."

"If he really though that, then he thought wrong. I think I'm mostly going to make this girl angry a lot."

"Well, sometime being angry is not a bad thing. I have to go out for the night inspection of the dragons now. You should go to sleep, I'll come join you later." she went out of the room, then out of the house, toward the barn where the dragons were kept. Vimaire followed her advice, and went to sleep.

* * *

It was happy. The trick was working. Well, working only on rats for now, but it was progressing. Now they did not need to be dead for it to work. Soon, it could get rid of this annoying "tenant", and then it would be able to experiment without any interference. The project was working slowly, but very efficiently. Thing were looking good. For it. Not for other.

Chapter end.


	6. polished rumor

hello everyone.

i took advantage of my school break to make this chapter more quickly than i was planing. Hope i could update again soon.

anyway, thanks again to Aankh for the spell check. and thanks to anybody who took the time to read this.

I'm really proud of this chapter, and i really hope to know what you think of it.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 6**

It was a sunny day. Not a "burningly bright" sunny day, where the Ankh river would become so dry that trees start to grow on it. Such a weather would be unfit for a mid sektober _(1)_ day. Instead, it was a rather cold sunny day, the kind where children complain about the embarrassing sweater their parents gave them to play outside.

The Ankh-Morpork city watch was also enjoying the weather. Most of them were awarded a day off, since the crimerate was lower than usual this month. But if there were less cops working in the city right now, there was still a good bunch of them managing the "not relay criminal but kinda annoying" problems of the city, like illegal parking and night fuss. And because those cops need someone to direct them, most of the officer were still working. That is why captain Carotte, captain Angua, sergeant Littlebottom and sergeant Detritus were still working. That, and they also had a lot of ongoing cases to finish.

The four of them where waiting in the commander's office. They needed to make their report to Vimaire. Who shall be arriving soon, but with him you're never sure. It was Detritus who broke the silence.

"Captain Carotte, have plan to go see dwarf mine in Lancre when we go there?"

"Yes, sergeant. I wrote very often to my parents, but it's been years since I last saw them. _(2)_ " Said Carotte, a small hint of nostalgia in his voice. "Beside, I need to introduce the commander and everyone to them, I keep talking about you, they deserve to meet you properly."

"If it's not rude, what are you parent stance on the emancipation movement?" asked sergeant Littlebottom. She was one of the most prominent member of the Dwarven Emancipation Movement (DEM), a movement with the objective to open up the dwarven culture to gendered representation, since traditionally dwarf don't show their gender to other.

"Do not worry, they accepted it. There should not be a problem." He looked at his clock. It was 8 and 5. Vimaire was late. "Maybe we should send someone get him. Its rare for him to be late"

"Do not bother Carotte." said Vimaire while opening the door. "I just had something to do at home."

"Your son wanted you to take him to work?" said Angua.

"No, he was sleeping when i left. I just had to tell to a newcomer where were the traps." Said Vimaire, pulling out a pin from his workweek.

"You hired someone? I through that Willikins would have taken that as a personal insult if it happened." snarked Angua, before looking at the picture drawn by young Sam "Well, this time I look like something. And there are no spelling mistake, isn't that right, Dretitus?"

"I'm no Dretitus. I'm Detritus" Said the troll, with a voice barely covering his delight at being drawn by his boss's son.

"To tell you the truth, captain Angua, I did not recruit anyone. Sybil and I will just be hosting someone for a while." He took a step back to admire the drawing of his son. With this one, he now had enough to make an art gallery. " Anyway, back to work. Angua, Cheery _(3)_ , did we receive Klatch's answer about Wormsberg?"

"Yes. The sheriff of Klatch accepted to send him back to Morpork so that he could be tried for his crimes." Angua hated this man, but she was not the only one. Theodore Wormberg was a dangerous man. He poisoned one of the few clean water tank of the city 3 months ago, causing the death of 17 people, including 5 children, before escaping abroad. Unluckily for him, he was quickly arrested there by the sheriff for a totally unrelated crime. After a month of negotiations, he will finally be tried for his crimes.

"Perfect. Carotte, what about the cold case expert group i wanted you to create? I'm sick of people giving us case that are years old. I don't want this kind of stuff disturbing the course of the Watch anymore."

"We have found potential candidates, but this kind of expert need a lot of training, and that would be very expensive." Said Carotte. He understood the annoyance of his boss. Receiving cases that dated from before the Watch was efficient is annoying, it requires a lot of energy and effective, and slows down the whole Watch.

"Don't worry about the cost. I've got enough money to pay the formation. It's time all that gold is used for something useful." He turned toward the troll. "Detritus! What about the... Detritus, did I give you something to do?"

"No, sir." Answered the sergeant

"Then why are you here?"

"Dwarf been complain'in. Watch's canteen in rats penury, so are most restaurant..." Dwarf eat rats, with sauce. It's a sort of cultural food, specific to a civilization that live under the ground.

"But it's the rat season. It's alway the rat season. How come there is a rat penury? The ratcatcher guild haven't done anything so how is it possible!? And what does that have to do with me!?" groaned Vimaire

"They want to import rats. From the mountain." said the troll, with a perfect impassible on his face. But with a face made of stone, that's normal.

"Fine. I will let you deal with the imported rats. Angua, keep an eye on the Wormberg matter. I want you to personally handle his arrival on morporkian ground." He waited for her to nod before continuing. "Carotte, i need you to prepare the visit of Lancre. You're from here, find us a nice travel route, a place to sleep and so on."

"What about me?" asked Cheery. " I don't have anything to do?"

"Actually, yes, you will suppervi..." There was a lot of noise coming from the entrance of the watch post. "Damnit! What's happening! WASHPOT, IT'S BETTER NOT BE A RELIGIOUS CONFLICT AGAIN!" He shouted while storming out of the room.

* * *

"And so, the kingdom of Lancre has Verence II as a king since that incident..." Explained Sybil to Louise.

"I don't understand. Did the people believe the witch without verifying? It seems awfully convenient that a man in love with one of them was also the heir to the throne." Asked the young girl. "But then, they are magic user, so i guess they should have a certain degree of authority."

"I'm not an expert on the matter Louise, but i know that in the mountain, witches have the same influence than the high priests, sometimes even more. Witches are a serious matter for people there." Sybil took a look at the window. It sure was a bright day. She considered bringing Louise on a tour of the city.

Louise, on the other side, was delighted to see there where kingdoms that had the proper amount of respect for magic users. " I'm really interested by those mountain kingdoms. Would this be too much to ask for a visit ?"

"You're lucky, Louise. Sam is going to go to Lancre as an ambassador in two weeks. If you're still there by then, you'll be coming with us." She smiled, before realizing what she had been insinuating. "Of course, I'm sure your parents will have come back for you by then."

"Yes, they probably will have." Said the young girl. But there was doubt in her voice.

Sybil tried to change the subject. "Well, another notable kingdom, this time way closer to Ankh-Morpork, is Sto lat, who is located in the Sto plain. I do know the Duchess of Sto Helit, she is a hard working and serious girl, and is efficient enough to work as a teacher. She is Sam's teacher, by the way, and I met her at the parent-teacher..." She continued for a while, pulling different anecdotes and notable facts about the people on the Disc.

Meanwhile, Willikins was preparing tea. He had been surprised when Louise asked him for wine in the morning _(4)_. He had a tough time explaining her that she was under Morpork's legal drinking age. After long explanations, he convinced the young girl to drink tea. He opted for Chamomile and cinnamon, a tea ideal for relaxation. After Putting water in the kettle, he suddenly heard a sound coming from outside. He knew what this sound was. Someone had fell in one of Vimaire's traps.

With a sigh, he left the kitchen, and went out in the garden. After a quick look around him, he determined that the intruder fell in the Polished water hole. One of the most vicious traps.

Inside the hole, there was a man and a woman in civilian clothes. So, not assassins. Or not the conventional ones. They where swimming as hard as they could, trying to find something to hold on to on the polished wall of the hole.

"Well aren't you unlucky, falling in this trap of all." said the butler.

"It's not that bad. It could have been a lethal trap." said the woman, while her partner seemed to struggle with keeping his head above the water. "As long as you know how to swim, i mean."

"OH, this one is slowly lethal. But aren't you worried about your friend?" Snarked Willikins.

"Well, if you're here, it's to send us a ladder." She said with an hopeful tone. "No?"

"Why don't you tell me what you were doing first?" Willikins glared at the intruders with the coldest butler glare imaginable. He was very attached to the Vime family, and took their safety incredibly seriously. "Then, depending on your answer, I might get you a ladder."

"Oow, Come on. My friends is struggling. Have you no heart?" she complained. She tried to act defiant, but honestly, this butler was more intimidating than expected.

"Well, I don't have a heart for people who try to murder the occupants of this house."

"But we're not here to kill anybody. We're Paparazzi, not killers." She said, panicked by the sudden realization that she was starting to struggle.

After a short hesitation, Willikins sent down the ladder. "You're what?" The two journalists quickly grabbed the wooden construct, and took a deep breath.

"Paparazzi. The name's a pun i don't get, - but according to our boss, - it's the new edge in journalism. - We follow people around to get the - closest to the truth." the man explained, between two inspirations.

"We were following on the big new of the week." said his partner. " The new kid at the Vime family."

Willikins glared at them even more. "The what? Listen you shit-diggers, what happens to the Vime family and who they host is none of your business." He was so angry that you could ear him hiss. Or perhaps it was the kettle in the house. But nobody would dare to ask. "Now you're gonna leave. And if I find another one of you paparasite, or whatever you call yourself, in a trap, I'll be sure to leave you in it, lethal or not." the two paparazzi did not even have the time to react that Willikins was already pushing them toward the exit.

"Now, if you will, i have a tea to make." Said the butler while closing the gate behind them.

The two of them stayed in front of the house, kinda shocked by the reaction of the butler.

"Well, here goes our big new. Now the Norbert twins will get the article on the Vimes." He said. "And our backup article on the martial prowess of the Bursar and Dibbler is kinda weak in comparison."

"That butler was so hiding something. Like it was so obvious." She said, completely ignoring her partner.

"Are you even listening to me, Andrea? We only have a shit article for this week. If this keeps going, we're never gonna get that promotion."

"Chill, Arthur. The twins are morons, the boss is gonna get bored to death of them. Eventually. And when that happens, we're gonna get the spotlight." She said, while still looking at the house. Willikins appeared behind a window, saw them, and closed the flap after a quick and furious glare. " totally hiding something. Now i want to get to the end of this story."

Arthur sighted. " Listen, we're not gonna get any information while this butler is keeping watch. It's no use."

"Exactly. That's why you'll make a diversion."

"Yeah yeah... Wait what? NO! You make the diversion!"

"No, you make the diversion, Arthur Harring. Unlike you I can swim, witch give me better chance of succeeding."

"Yeah, but I'm a better climber. You make the diversion Andrea Williams." They kept glaring at each other, until they saw Willikins coming out of the house with a pair of very very sharp scissor and started to prune the hedge, while looking at them with a very cunning, and frankly scary, stare.

"Yeah, Nope, we're leaving." Said both of them with a perfect coordination.

* * *

The watch was in a dire situation. The watchmen where being overwhelmed by a mass of reporter and journalists, all of them screaming questions that could not be heard in the overall chaos. When Vimaire arrived, there was a brief instant of silence before the noise started again, even more powerful than before.

"DETRITUS, MAKE THEM SHUT UP." Said the commander.

"WHAT, SIR?" Asked the troll.

Vimaire motioned a finger in front of his mouth. Troll are not always smart under our climate, but today was a cool day, and Detritus knew of this gesture.

"SILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Screamed the lieutenant, effectively silencing everyone in the room. The reporters stared at him, then let their gaze slide toward the commander.

"All right! What's the meaning of this! Why did you all come here, I don't recall anything noteworthy happening in the last few weeks." Said Vimaire, kinda angry.

There was a silence, before Sacharissa Crisplock, reporter for The Times spoke.

"Commander Vimaire, what is your reaction toward the rumors concerning your guest?"

"What rumors? And how do you know about..." He tried to say, before being cut by another reporter

"Is this girl related to you or the Ramkin family?"

"Listen, I don't know where you got this, but..."

"Why is her hair pink? Is it a coloration, or is it of surnatural origins?"

"Could you guys just let me..."

"She was seen at the Unseen University. Is she the illegitimate daughter of Lady Ramkin with a mage?" This time it was too much.

"Detritus." said Vime

"SILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Screamed the troll again.

Vimaire glared at the audience, furious about the insinuations. "First, I don't know why her hair is pink, and i frankly don't care. Second, who my wife and I decide to host is none of your business, and if we decide to host a friend's child, it only involves us. And if I hear any of you tried to enter my home to find information, I swear I will stop being so friendly."

The reporters looked at eachother. Who would be dumb enough to try to enter in Vimaire house uninvited? And seriously, he was already not very friendly.

Vimaire started to talk again. "Now all of you, get out. I don't want you in here, disturbing the work of my men." He motioned them the door.

All the reporter started to leave, while also taking picture of the Watch post for posterity.

The whole room was then filled with a long silence. Most of the watchmembers where staring at there commander.

"What?" said Vimaire.

"You know, sir..." Started Nobby "... It's not a problem if you got a ..." He was promptly cut by two dwarf agent who put their hand on his mouth.

"What Nobby was trying to say, sir..." Started sergeant Colon "... Is that none of us will believe this rumor. No one. Right guys?"

All the Watch nodded in unison.

"Good," said Vimaire " Cause there's not a ounce of truth in these rumors."

"You mean she does not have pink hair?" Asked Brick, Detritus's adopted son, with a disappointed look. He really wanted to see colored humans.

"Well, that part is true, but that's the only thing about it that is." said the commander. "Now all of you, get back to work."

Outside, all the reporters were discussing about what Vimaire had said. They where all agreeing that the commander was hiding something, but that there was not point to push things, as the watch and Vimaire would not say anything more.

"Well, my dear colleagues, I'm sure that there is no point for us to report anything. This is, after all, a rumor, nothing serious." Said one of them.

"Indeed, colleagues, there is no point in writing an article about it." Said another.

They all went back to their respective publisher, each convinced that the other had been tricked into not publishing anything about this story.

CHAPTER END.

 _(1)the Discworld calendar is very different from ours. A full rotation of the Disc, or full-year, is 800 days, but people use the half-year, which is 400 days, as it is easier to use. One half-year is made of 13 month, which are Ick, Offle, February, March, April, May, June, Grune, Auguste, Spune, Sektober, Ember and December. With the exception of Ick, which is 16 day long, all months are 32 days long._

 _(2)Carotte Ironfounderson is a dwarf of human origins. He was raised by the Ironfounderson family in the mine, but ended up leaving his family when he reached human adult size. Dwarves mines are not made for 1m80 (about 6ft) people._

 _(3) Lieutenant Littlebottom's nickname_

 _(4) In Halkeginia, there is no legal age for drinking, and most noble drink alcohol from the age of eight. It is to be noted, however, that their wine is thinned with water. But Their cider is not._


	7. the bun, the wand and the notes

Hello everyone

i'm sorry this chapter took so long to finish, i was overwhelmed by my schoolwork, and a new passion for ant.

Well, here is the seventh chapter. I spend a long time on it. I'm rather proud of it to be honest.

Also, from this chapter on, the plot will really start, and thing are really gonna begin to move.

I would like to thanks every people who follow this story and/put it in their favorite.

Have a nice read.

octoyeti

* * *

 **ANKH MORPORK** , 26 sektober, 5 day after Louise arrival

Louise was angry. She was always a bit angry, like a permanent passive anger, but it did not always show. But this time it did. Earlier, the patrician had called her to check on her, and to tell her about the rumors that where circulating on her.

When she told him that she could perhaps tell the truth about where she was from, since she had a part of responsibility in this situation, he refused and forbade her to tell anyone about it. And that was the root of her anger. Not only did she felt like her freedom was being taken away from her, but she new he was right. She knew that indeed, if people learned of another world, a lot of dangerous people that dealt with the occult will come get her. How infuriating it was to know that someone was right to not let you free.

Before leaving the palace by the backdoor, she took care to put the cloak that Vimaire had offered her this morning, and waited for her "bodyguard". When she told Vimaire that she wanted to go alone to the palace, the commander initially refused, but with long ... Let's just say arguments, Louise managed to convince him to let her go without the patrician delegation, but only if she wore a cloak to conceal herself, and if she was accompanied by a watchmen. She was not gonna get more freedom. And she hated it. In Halkeginia, she was allowed to go wherever she wanted. As a noble, she was raised with a lot of independence, and now all of that was gone. Other peoples where just telling her what to do, and she had to agree.

But what was the point of visiting the city, or having any freedom in it. It was an eyesore, it was dirty, and the people in it where rude and ugly (with a few exception, like that Watch captain she saw talking to Vimaire the other day, or lady Ramkin). She was pretty sure that any commoner in any of the kingdoms of Halkeginia where happier than anybody in this city, or perhaps even this world. She did not even want to be independent in this city, she just wanted to go home.

...?

Louise stopped and looked around her. She was sure she heard a judgmental silence. Witch was weird, she was pretty sure there was only one type of silence. "Lucienne, are you here?"

"Yes i am here, Miss." said a woman in civilian clothes, exiting the palace. She was Sunny Lucienne, a member of the cable street(1), whatever that was. She was also the person with the least accurate name. Ever(2). She was not very happy, quite the contrary. Her unkempt black greasy hair made her look like a piece of rotten wood from behind. From the front, you could see her dark circles so clearly that they might as well be drawn with ink on her bronze skin. All of that made her look older than her actual 30 s. "I was just discussing with someone." said Sunny.

"Well, my meeting is over, so lets go back." Said Louise, with barely hidden condescension in her body language. She did not like Sunny. This woman was treating her like she was an annoying brat. This was not a way to treat a noble. If they were in Halkeginia, Louise could have done something, but here she couldn't. Another proof her homeland was better.

The two walked in the city, then began moving from street to street, in a somewhat erratic and strange way. Sunny kept telling it was "better and safer", but the smile on her face made Louise skeptical of that claim. And she was hungry. It was 2 pm, and she still had not eaten a lunch. She was not a like the academicians of the Unseen University, but she was still a mage, and needed proper nourishment.

"Lucienne! I'm hungry. Bring me to somewhere I can eat." Said Louise

"What?! No, we have to get back to the commander's house. Besides, you don't even have money."

"First, I'm fully aware that you make it longer to go back on purpose, you arrogant commoner. And also, I do have money." Louise proudly showed the few Ankh-Morpork dollars(3) that Sybil had given her for helping with the dragon. Or she would have shown them if Sunny had not stopped her hand.

"Ok, fine, you got money. No point on telling everybody, unless you have already received your monthly robbing. Have you?" said the older woman.

"WHAT? NO! AND WHAT..." Started screaming the young noble.

"Don't shout. I can smell a very famous cook from here, I'm sure he will give you a food to your liking. But you pay with your money."

Louise looked at the woman. She looked more reasonable and serious now. Perhaps people here needed you to be a bit more forceful for them to do what you wanted. Vimaire also did let her go relatively freely with her insistence.

"Very well, Lucienne. Guide the way." She said. Finally, she was getting the locals to treat her correctly "What is this cook's name?"

"Well, his full name is quite long..." Unbeknownst to Louise, who was facing a piece of rotten wood, a smile appeared on Sunny lips. "But we call him CMOT Dibler."

"Strange name." said Louise. "What does he cook? I do smell something fried, but not much else."

"Ooh, he is known for his meat in a little bun. He is very famous for his secret ingredient."

Louise smiled. That sounded tasty.

They arrived in front of a small stand, with a small man cooking meat and frying onions. Louise approached and the man, Dibler if that was really his name, looked at her. He tried to see under her hood, but enventually gave up to take her order.

"Well, young girl, what's it gonna be?" said the shopkeeper.

"I would like to order one of your famous meat in a little bun, please."

Dibbler smiled. If she wanted his wares, she was new to the city. That might just work.

"Well, young girl, it is 3 dollars the bread and 7 dollars the meat."

"What?! It's too much! That's 10 dollars the two. I'm giving 5 for both." said Louise.

"9!"

"5 and half."

"I'm not going under 7. And at this price, I cut my own throat. Its the deal of the decade."

"Hmph. Fine, but give me the best you have."

Dibler took one of his sausages at random, and put it in a little bun. He took Louse's money, and gave her the food. "Pleasure to do business with you." he said.

Louise and Sunny then started walking again, The young girl not aware that under all the fried oinion smell, there was the disgusting odor of low quality meat.

"Well, thank for finally treating me like I deserve, Lucienne. I will be sure to not tell Sir Vimaire of the way you behaved earlier." Said Louise, Preparing to take the first bite.

"Yeah, yeah." answered absently the older woman. She was just waiting for her reaction.

Louise took a bite, stopped walking for a short instant, and spew all of it on the ground.

"YOU TRICKED ME!"

"Well, you're the one that brought the food."

"IT'S DISGUSTING! YOU SAID HE WAS FAMOUS!"

"Well, he's famous for his disgusting food. Honestly, it's your fault for being so gullible"

"NO ITS NOT! I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!"

"Yeah, Yeah, probably not. I doubt that i'm gonna lose my job for a prank everyone has pulled, and what else are you gonna do? Now lets get moving." This was too much for Louise. How could someone disrespect her in such a way. It was something to be insulted and mocked by her peers, but this woman had no right to make fool out of her. She drew her wand and cast a spell.

"EXPLO..."

But Sunny was not, by any mean, slow. And she knew a wand could be used in many dangerous ways(4). Without letting Louise the time to finish her spell, she whipped the wand with the back of her hand, then in one swift motion, grabbed Louise's hand, and moved behind her, holding the noble in an arm lock.

"What where you thinking of doing?! And why a kid like you even have a wand. These shits are dangerous." The leftover of the meat in a little bun was laying on the ground, a small dog watching it with intense concentration. "You know what, brat? I'm done." She moved toward the wand, took it, and put it in her pocket.

"HEY! That's mine." shouted Louise.

"Yeah. I'm giving it back once we get to the mansion. And we're going now. I don't want to deal with you anymore." She started walking again. "And I won't wait for you. Get Moving."

Louise whispered to herself "Well, I don't want anything to do with you anymore, too." It was just her luck. It could not get any worse.

* * *

 **SAME INSTANT, WATCH OFFICE.**

"Did you take your boots?" asked Vimaire to his son.

"Yes dad. Mom reminded me to take them."

"Good." Vimaire never understood the point of taking boots on patrol. Shoes with hole where so much more convenient. But his wife had convinced him that protecting Sam's feet was important.

"You got your sweater? I don't want you to catch a cold."

"Yes dad. Can we get going?" answered the child.

"We're going, we're going. But remember. If you see someone doing something they shouldn't be doing, you tell me, and I deal with them."

"Okay dad."

"Good, now Sam, here we go." As the commander was ready to leave the office, he saw the constable Shoe entering the room.

"Commander, I have something to talk to you about." said the zombie.

"Not now, Reg, I'm of with the kid. I want to show him how to patrol well."

"But, commander, this is..."

"I said not now, Shoe. I don't want anything that is not of the most urgent matter to disturb my evening."

"Well, yeah, but..."

"That's final, constable. Now, I'm leaving. Come, Sam." father and son exited the Watch office, with a steady pace. You could feel the complicity between the two.

Meanwhile, Reginald Shoe watched the two leave with a shocked expression, before finally whispering to himself

"It was important." Well, Vimaire rarely have time to share his passion with his son, so it's normal he would not be happy to be interrupted. "Well, lets hope the Captain will be available."

* * *

 **AT THE SAME TIME, IN THE UNSEEN UNIVERSITY**

"LIBRARIAN! OPEN UP! THIS IS NO TIME TO HIDE IN THE LIBRARY!" Screamed Ridcully while banging at the door of said library.

"Its no use, Ridcully. He did not answer this morning either." said the chair of indefinite study (C.o.i.s)

"This is terrible, if we have to remember magic theory by ourselves, we're doomed!" said the lecturer in modern runes. (L.i.m.r)

"Stibbons is missing, The librarian won't open the door. What is going on?" said the dean. (d)

"I DON'T CARE WHAT'S HAPPENING! WE ARE GOING IN!"

"But Arch-chancellor. The door is completely locked."

"THEN WE WILL SET A SIEGE! GO FETCH YOUR BED AND A TABLE! WE'RE GONNA STAY HERE UNTIL HE OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!"

"What!? " said the rest of the academicians.

"Yes! From now on, we eat here, we sleep here, and we... And we eat here"

"This is inconceivable. The only table that would fit here are too small for a proper lunch."

"Did I hear you complain Henry? No? Good." grumbled Ridcully. "Now lets get too work, I want a ballista ready for this afternoon."

Meanwhile, far away, the Librarian and Stibbons were waiting on a boat for Klatch, where the book they were searching for was last seen.

"Are you sure it was a good idea to go without telling them?" Said the human.

"Oook"

"I mean yeah, we did leave them a note explaining why we're going, but are they even gonna find it?"

"Eeek"

Stibbons looked at the horizon with a solemn face "Perhaps you're right. I should give them more credits. They can't be that helpless."

* * *

Following those intermissions, we now return to Vimaire father and son. They were marching down the short street, which is a street that is very long, the longest street of the city. Strangely enough, the street was very calm, which was unusual in this city.

"So, Sam, not too tired?" Asked vimaire, worried that a too long patrol would take its toll on his son.

"I'm not tired dad. I could walk to Klacht." misspelled the child.

"It's Klatch, Sam. KL-a-tch. But congratulation on remembering your geography lessons. But you don't walk to Klatch, you take the boat. It's easier."

"Mommy told me that you went to Klacht... To Klatch, dad. Is it true?" The young boy looked at his father with admiration, as if it was the most incredible feat ever.

"Yes I did. You weren't even born at that time. I remember this was very messy stuff. I might tell you the detail when you are older, I don't think your mom would like me telling you this kind of story."

"But daaad! I want to know." Sam Jr was starting to pout, very disappointed. Vimaire took a look around, then at the time.

"You know what, if you're not tired, why not go toward the post office it's not too much, and there are some interesting buildings on the way." Not that Vimaire cared about architecture, but Sybil told him that it would be good to initiate their son to as many cultural things as possible. For his education.

"But I don't want some buildings. I want to know what happened!"

"Now now, Sam, I will tell you other stories if you are good. But right now, let's move toward the post office..."

They walked for about ten minutes, passing in front of the Assassins guild, the clown and jester guild and the thieves guild. While walking, Vimaire forced himself to tell Sam about some incorrect architectural and historical fact.

"Dad, is it normal that people jump from roof to roof?" asked Sam, pointing at a figure that was running on the roof near the post office.

"Probably an assassin, son." said Vimaire taking a look at the person. Then he realized it could not be an assassin. This fell was in golden clothing. It could only mean one thing. "Or it's an idiot. An idiot that's gonna need to stop." said Vimaire while the person slipped. They almost fell to the ground, barely catching the iron grid of a window, then letting it go to land smoothly.

The man turned toward Vimaire, revealing a perfectly ordinary and smug face. "Vimaire, I did not expect you to be patrolling today. I would have expected you to spend time with your son"

"I am spending time with my son, Lipwig. And you, what were you even doing? Running from roof to roof is something I expect of someone like you, but could you wait the night to do your mischief?" Said Vimaire, angrily.

"Mischief? Commander, this a new form of sport, its called "Part-court". It mean "by short" in Pseudopolian. It consist of trying to find the shortest way toward your destination" explained Lipwig, beaming with confidence.

"A sport? You mean there are other people who do that? That is insane." While the two men where discussing, Young Sam was bored. They where talking about annoying grown up stuff. Couldn't his father, like, keep doing the patrol? Well, at least, what Lipwig did was cool. Maybe he could try.

While the two men were talking, young Sam started climbing on a wall. After multiple try, he succeed to reach the top of it, and watched his father get into an argument with Lipwig. Well, he'll just go to the post office in "Part court", like Lipwig said. His father will catch up when he's done with him. Thinking that, Sam started running on the wall, toward the post office. He really liked that. It was fun to see people from above. Very fun. So fun, in fact, that he did not see the broken brick in front of him. The instant he walked on it, it fell apart under his feet. Sam slipped, and began to fall. Luckily for him, he landed on a pile of trash. Unluckily for him, he was on the wrong side of the wall, and on this side, it will take longer to climb back.

Sam considered just walking until he would find the short street, or a watchman, when he heard a voice behind him. A grumpy, mean, voice. The voice a bandit leader in a fairy tale would have.

"Well, ayf ayt ays not may luckay day. May Free pass out of the citay just fall from the skay." Sam turned to see who was speaking. It was a tall man with too much freckles and dirty red hair. But this hair looked clean compared to his beard, where residues of meal and dead skin where stuck. Before Sam could do anything, the man caught him in one swipe.

* * *

"Lipwig, you do what you want, but I don't want my son to be influenced by you."

"Vimaire, this is one harmless sport. What could go wrong?"

"He could fall and hurt himself. And it's not a discussion. Don't push him into this kind of extreme sport." Said the commander. But he realized that the post master was not looking at him right now, but a few meter behind him. "What you looking at?" Said Vimaire While turning around.

There were two watchmen, Constable Washpot and Constable Armstrong, running toward him, waving frantically. "Commander, Commander, did you saw him?"

"Saw him? Yes, I saw Lipwig doing this "Pecaure" thing. How can the patrician let that happen?"

"What? No, sir, did you see Grolneus? We where catching up to him, but he slipped through our fingers." Said Washpots

"No he did not." Said Armstrong, who was as literal as the majority of dwarves. "He his too big to slip through them anyway."

"Hang on, hang on. What are you two talking about? Who's this Grolneus guy? What he done?" asked Vimaire, who did not understand.

"He's a criminal that was behind a bunch of disparitions during the last month. A nasty asshole..." Started Washpot.

"He's a man, not a sphincter. But until yesterday, he remained undetected." continued Armstrong.

"Why? What happened yesterday?"

"The particular caught him red handed. He escaped them, but now the whole watch is after him." Said Armstrong "I though that you were informed, sir. Reg Shoes was supposed to tell you about it before you went patrolling."

Vimaire cursed in his mind. Why did he not listen to Reg earlier? If he did, perhaps this Grolneus would have been caught already. Right now, he needed to bring Sam back home so he could handle the situation without being too worried.

"Fine. Washpot, get Sam back home, I'm going to search for this guy. Sam, you go with Washpot okay? And when you're home, you stay with your mom and Louise. Ok?"

There was a long silence, where Vimaire looked around him, searching for his son. His face grew more and more livid while doing so, and Lipwig had started to move a bit further from the commander, expecting what was gonna happen next.

"WHERE IS MY SON!?" Roared Vimaire, furious. He looked at The post master(5)

"Vimaire, Vimaire, Vimaire. Perhaps your son is safe and simply wandered off. Kid do that all the time."

He turned toward his men. "Armstrong, you search for my son around here with me. Washpot, you get me all the officer you can find at my office in half an hour. Be sure to get me Angua, she will be essential." he really hoped for the best. But if that criminal had this son, than...

No, he better not think about it.

"I will help too, commander." said Lipwig. " I am not the kind of man to let a child alone in this dangerous city"

Vimaire looked at him. Lipwig was not an horrible person, but many would call him a prick. Still, it was reassuring that even he knew his priority.

"Very well Lipwig. Search from the rooftop, since it seem to be your thing. Armstrong, keep searching in the short street, perhaps he is still there. I'm gonna search for him in the small street around. We meet back here in ten minute. Now lets go." the four of them scattered. Washpot began running back the short street toward the office, Armstrong began looking around him and asking peoples if they saw anything, Lipwig climbed on the nearest wall, and Vimaire started looking in the many small alley.

After a few minute of searching, Vimaire and Armstrong reunited at the same place.

"Anything new, Armstrong?"

"No sir. Someone thought they saw him, but it was another kid."

"Damn. I did not find much too. Lets hope Lipwig was useful for once."

Right at this moment, said man fell on the ground, missing completely his landing.

"OUCH! Damn, I slept."

"Well, that's what you get for running above the street." Said the commander.

"Vimaire, that is not nice, i am helping you right now. Anyway i found something."

"GOOD!" said Vimaire, a smile appearing on his face.

"Not really. There was a small note on the ground, right next to where someone had fell." He handed a piece of paper to the commander.

It read:

" Deer Commander Vimaire.

Eye Goat your sun with me

If iou arrest me, eye will arm him.

Your deerly

Grolneus Grumb!"(6)

Chapter end.

* * *

(1) the not secret police that the Watch doesn't have. In fact, they are not located in the cable street, since they don't exist.

(2) There, Louise is completly unaware that there is a family where the girls are named after virtues, and the boys after sin. Believe it or not, but sloth is a very active and energetic member of the society, and his sister kindness is what we would call "Satan if he was more evil".

(3) The new currency of the city. I could talk about the ancient one, but such system that made so many mathematical geniuses as it drove peoples to madness is too long to explain. If you are interested, just read "Making money", by the late sir Terry Pratchett. May his death be full of orangutan and pun.

(4) after an incident of magic wand smuggling.

(5) Moist von Lipwig.

(6) some people on the disc are even worst at spelling then i am.


	8. the runaway's wardrobe

Hello everyone.

Sorry for this chapter being this late, I had a lot to do with my studies. Also, the first version of this chapter got lost due to a computer error, so I had to start again.

I will also have less time to spend on my fic from now on, but i will try to at least make a chapter a month.

Anyway... I hope you will like this chapter.

* * *

 **VIMAIRE/RAMKIN MANOR, ANKH-MORPORK, AROUND 6 PM**

Louise was sitting in one of the armchair in the Ramkin living room. She was even paler than usual, almost livid.

"Why do peoples still allow this man to sell food. Its not only disgusting, but it made me almost vomit. This was the worth food I had ever tasted. How can he make business?"

"Well, Young lady, Dibler is a very competent salesman. He can sell food to peoples who have already tasted it. That's how good he is at selling things." Said Willikins, while preparing an infusion against stomach ache.

"I don't believe you, willikins. There is no way someone would eat this food twice." Louise groaned. She had already realized that the culinary tradition of Ankh-Morpork where not extraordinary, but Dibler food really wa the lowest of the lowest in term of quality.

"Look at it another way then... Would you trust this man with other job. Would you want Dibler to make cloths?" continued the butler, while depositing in front of Louise a cup of infusion

"Brimir no! They would probably itch like hell, and be very cold." She looked at the window, toward the shack where Sybile was feeding the dragons. "Did she really did not need help?"

"Dragons are her specialty, Louise, If she told you she could handle it alone, then she can. Beside, she had been doing this from before you came here."

She turned back to her book. It was a book on the history of the city. She was fascinated by how much the peoples of Ankh-Morpork could be self destructive. They replaced monarchies with patricianique Autocratic. A bad call. Such system don't hold the same prestige as a monarchies, and are weaker and more prone to corruption. They got lucky that Vetinari was somewhat competent. She was also shocked to learn that the Vimaire bloodline was present twice in the history book. First, Vimaire ancestor, "suffer not injustice" or "old Stoneface" as they called him, who executed king Lorenzo the kind. While the book explained the kind of crime the king did, Louise could not help but feel like killing the king was a bad idea. They could always had banned him, or force him to abdicate.

The second occurrences was with Samuel Vimaire during the rebellion against the patrician Snapcase. The Vimaires seemed to not get along with corrupt ruler, it seemed. Then again, if Vimaire spends youth in fear of a mad patrician, it explained his behavior toward noble. But it was not justified. Snapcase was an exception. Not all noble were like him. See, they also conspired against him.

This book reinforced Louise idea that the people of this world, or at least the city, did not knew what was the best for them. A pity.

Right at this moment, Lady Ramkin entered the room, her work coat slightly more burned than earlier. " Well, I'm glade you stayed there to recover Louise, the dragon where quite aggressive today. That was unusual for the season. I may have put the eating of their shack too high."

Louise did not really car about those animals. She would never admit it to Sybil, but she thought the swamp dragon where as much dragons as they where kitten. They were small, not very bright, and sometimes they exploded without any warning. The last part was making her angry, since she felt that the universe was taunting her on her greatest weakness. But even if she did not like them, she had a huge amount of respect for Sybil, and was glad to help her in her task.

The duchesses sat in front of Louise, removed her wig to whip her forehead of all the tallow, and began to talk. "Are you feeling better? Dibbler food can be quite hard for people not used to it..."

"Yes, I am better already" Said the young girl. "Wilikins infusion worked quite well."

"Very good. But if you feel not well again, do not hesitate. We'll be here for you." Reassured Sybil.

They heard the door of the mansion open. It was quite early for the two Sam to come back, but perhaps her son felt tired and wanted to come back early.

"Don't move, Louise, it's probably just the boys that came home early." Said the duchess.

It was indeed Vimaire who entered the living room. But he was not accompanied by his son, but by a dwarf. And his face was an unexpected mix of fury and fear. It was not hard to guess that something had happened to young Sam.

Sybil stood up, her face suddenly grimm and scared. "Sam! What happened?!"

"Something bad. Some prick got our son." Vimaire looked at his wife increasingly shocked face. "But don't worry, we'll get him back. All the captain and lieutenant and agent have already started to search for him. We'll get him back, I promise." Those word seemed to calm Sybil a bit, but she was still in shock when she sat down.

Louise was also shocked. She liked the young Sam, he was a nice kid. It would be unfair for something bad to happen to him.

Vimaire begin to talk again. "I'm gonna help my men in the search. Stay safe." he turned toward Louise "You too, you stay here while this business is not over."

"But..." Started Louise

"No but... Things are already complicated like that, I don't want to have to save someone else because they got lost in the night, or worse." On those word, he turned toward the butler."Wilikins, Make sure they are safe!"

"Yes sir." Answered the butler.

"Good. I'll be on my way then" Said the commander, leaving the room.

Louise precipitated after him. "Wait, I'm sure I can help" While she definitively wanted to save the young Sam, if she could prove she was able to handle herself, Vimaire and the patrician would for sure let her go freely in the city. Or at least without too much surveillance. Vimaire stopped and looked at her. She did not waver, and kept talking. "I'm a mage after all."

"Didn't you said you were unable to cast anything beside explosion? No thanks, if I want a wall destroyed, I'll ask Detritus." Looking at Louise shocked reaction, he calmed down slightly. "Listen, I have enough on my hand right now, with my kid missing. This is as much as I can take while keeping my composure."

Louise stayed silent for an instant, before shouting. "I'M NOT A FAILURE. I CAN HANDLE MYSELF AND HELP WITH THE SEARCHES." More than angry, she looked hurt in her pride.

Vimaire felt guilty for this reaction. He did use a very nasty taunt, especially for a kid who seemed sensitive about here failure and talent. But now was not the time for discussion and subtleties "We'll see that later. Good evening, Louise." He said, while exiting the mansion.

Louise stayed in the lobby for a few minute, ruminating her anger. How could he say that she was useless. He was not even capable of casting a explosion. He was not allowed to talk to her this way, to belittle her. She would show him how she can be useful. She would find Sam alone, and then they would be forced to acknowledge her talent and skills. And Vimaire would be forced to ask for forgiveness.

She moved toward the door, determined to prove her worth, only to stopped by Willikins grabbing her shoulder.

"I'm sorry miss Valiere, but I cannot let you leave the mansion."

"Let me go Willikins! I can handle myself!" She tried to free herself from the butler grip, but he held her shoulder too firmly. He moved his other hand toward her wrist, and begin dragging her upstairs.

"Well, if you wont stop, than I will have to lock you in your room." He said. " I agree with Vimaire that the situation is already very complicated"

"WHAT?! You can't lock me in my room! This is unfair!"

"Unfair or not, it is for your safety. The kidnapper is a dangerous man. You have no idea how terrifying it is for lady Ramkin and Sir Vimaire. Imagine how your parents would feel if something happened to you?" He took a look behind his shoulder. It was clear in her expression that she was not convinced. At all. "But i can see you will not listen to me."

"Of course I wont! You, and Vimaire, are wrong! And to add injuries to the insult, you dare use my parents as argument! How dare you! You never met them." she shouted.

Arriving in front of her room, Willikins pushed her inside, closed the door behind her and locked it. "Anyway, I am closing the door. Stay put until this situation is over." He said, before leaving.

He had a small feeling he had forgotten something, but quickly brushed it away. It was probably not important.

* * *

Louise grumbled to herself. That butler, locking her like a criminal. She was not going to have it that way. She will escape, and there is nothing Willikins or Vimaire could do to stop her.

Of course, saying this was far easier than actually escaping. The door was firmly locked, and while she still had her wand, she was not going to explode her way out of the room. Willikins would ear her, and catch her before she could even reach the door. No, she needed to outsmart him. But the man new the house like the back of his hand. She had to be extra cunning.

She look around the room, searching for anything that could be useful. It was filled mostly with sheet, a few cloths Lady Ramkin lent her, and an old wardrobe that she did not manage to open when she arrived her, the lock being all rusty. By the sound of it, however, the armor was full.

Apart from that, not much. She turned toward the window, that was facing toward the dragon barn. It was not very far away, you could drop to its level than hop on it's roof, provided you had a long enough rope. And that you where skilled in acrobatic. And Louise was not skilled in acrobatic. At all. Beside, The day after her arrival, two people tried to spy on them from the roof, and realized it was trapped. When Vimaire told her that he put traps in many strategic point to avoid intruder, it reassured her about her safety. But now, she realized it made escaping harder. So no, she could not escape by the roof of the barn...

...

"DAMNIT!" she shouted after a long minute of silent reflection. She could not come up with anything. Why was escaping from the house of one of the most important and careful man in the city so hard. She kicked the wardrobe in frustration.

"OUCH!" it hurt, like kicking any heavy wooden wardrobe should. Also, a rumbling sound could be heard inside the wardrobe, like pieces of metal falling. The lower part of the door began to stretch, as if the whole content of the wardrobe began to mass up at the bottom of it. Suddenly, the lock exploded under the pressure, and the door opened brutally, slapping Louise in the face, and sending her tumbling down.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF...!" she stopped herself for using a word that a lady of her status was not supposed to use. Her nose was bleeding and her mouth was hurting.

After she stood up, she took a look at what was expelled out of the wardrobes. It was a bunch of slightly rusty but still shiny pieces of metal, that reflected the light of the candles, illuminating the room when a particular of imagination did the same to her mind.

/

Willikins was preparing tea, both for Lady Ramkin and Louise. While the young girl was in a foul mood, she still deserved to eat and drink, and it would not be said that he was a bad at butlery thing. Lady Ramkin was sleeping right now, she was exhausted by the stress she was in.

When both would be sleeping, he would spend some time on some personnel affairs, but right now, he had to give the both of them full attention.

"Purity(1)..." He said to the maid that was helping him "... Do we still have the tea we specially brought from klatch?"

"The extra relaxation kaliff-grey? I'm gonna check." she said, before leaving the room toward the stock room.

Right at this instant, the two of them heard a loud "CLONK" followed by the "Ssssss" of something sliding on rail, than a "SPLOTCH" of something heavy falling in the water.

Willikins sighted. Just what he needed. Someone had fallen in the polished pit. That was the second time in a week. Well, he was not in the mood to help anyone right now. The poor fella better be a good swimmer.

Purity came back with a pot full of tea. "We just have regular-relaxation kaliff-grey. And what was that sound?"

"Nothing, just some intruder who fell in a trap. We can deal with that latter." he said, turning his whole attention to the kettle he put on the fire.

"Okay." she simply answered. She gave him the tea, and turned to take the brown sugar biscuit. Than a doubt rose in her mind. "Willikins... The girl there... Louise... She want to escape right?"

"Yeah, but I locked her in her room. So we just have to bring her tea, i doubt she know how to lockpick."

"Did you lock her window to?"

Willikins stopped moving for a few second, thinking carefully, Before sprinting out of the room, surprisingly dodging any furniture, while half shouting "That idiotic brat!". Purity followed him, albeit more slowly.

They arrived in front of the polishes hole. Behind them, they could clearly see the opened window, with the rope made of sheet hanging right up to level of the barn roof. Inside the hole, they could see some pink color thought the muddy water

"How can she sink?" asked Purity. "normally the float."

"Hold the ladder, I'm going in." Of course she had to fell in the trap she had seen... This kid was not the brightest. At all.

Inside the muddy hole, Willikins climbed down the ladder, until he felt his hand reach for a piece of metal. He knew enough about the Ramkin keepsakes to recognize an armor. Where did that girl even found one... Ho wait, the old Wardrobe. So that was what was inside... Well, swimming in armor is impossible. He moved his hand to gripe some flesh, so he would feel her pulse. But there was not. Her heart was not beating.

HO GOD HER HEART WAS NOT BEATING... THAT'S BAD. He tried to shout, but he was in the water . Climbing up while dragging the young girl body, he suddenly realized that the flesh had a weird consistency. He emerged out of the water and lifted what a few instant ago he thought was Louise...

It was a big pillow, with a piece of pink silk (that he recognize as belonging to one of the dress that Sybil offered Louise.) put inside a metal torso armor.

"Purity, we've been had! Quick go to her room! If she's not in it , go at the door!"

"Alright"

Willikins climbed the ladder, than looked at the pillow. That was crafty of her, he did not think this girl had any guile in her. And she was rather good at sewing it seemed.

While he was still catching his breath, Purities came back, a panicked look on her face. "She escaped. She dislocated the lock of her door with a sharp weapon, and i found a piece of her cloak stuck on the fence of the mansion."

"You mean that she successfully tricked us?" Said the butler, his pride slightly hurt to be outsmarted by a child. He quickly realized he had more important thing to deal with. "We need to warn Vimaire. She is in danger. You go, I'll watch over Lady Ramkin."

"What?! How that's fair. He's gonna get mad at me. You're the one that forgot to lock her window."

"Yeah, but I'm also the lead butler. I'm not supposed to leave the house right now, beside."

"HO Sure... You tell me you don consider me a subordinate, but right when it suit you you pull the lead servant card."

"PURITY PLEASE! " he said, beginning to loose his calm, before recovering. "Look, it's important. Say to Vimaire that I am entirely to blame. I will own you one, or two if you prefer, but we don't have time for this argument ."

"Fine, one is enough tho." she said as she turned. "But you better back up what you just say. I don want to lose my job."

(1) it's a virtue. It's also a name.

* * *

Gaspod the wonder dog, a talking dog(2), was patrolling the street. As a member of the specials of the ankh morpork city watch canine brigade(3), he had been called in by captain Angua to smell the street for any clue, and to warn and follow any suspicious individual. It was easier said than done, since suspicious individual is synonymous with Citizen of Ankh-Moprork. To make his job simpler, he decide to only consider suspicious peoples who where completely out of place, Like clean peoples, peoples who did not look suspicious, or that cloaked kids running in the street with a steel helmet on their head and a small sword at the hip. Definitely suspicious.

Strangely, this kid smelled like the pink haired girl that did not finish her Dibbler meat-in-a-little-bun(tm). But that could not be, because said girl was under Vimaire protection, so there was no way the Commander would let her wander the street alone, especially right now.

Following her from slightly far away, he quickly realized she was trying to get to the unseen university. Now THAT was suspicious. And also troublesome. Last time he ate something there, he gained sentience and began to talk.

Conflicted by his duty and the problems it might get him, gaspode decided to not follow the kid. She was suspicious, but the man that kidnapped the young Sam was a known criminal, and he was not five feet tall. So it was probably unrelated business.

Turning away from the mysterious kid, he began to wander in the opposite direction, hoping to find the culprit (among other things). Meanwhile, Louise was entering the Unseen University, sure of her future success. She had a plan, after all.

chapter end.

(2) he is not wonderful because he talk, he is wonderful because he survive despite the sheer amount of disease he has. Some want him to be renamed gaspode the miraculous dog, because it can only be a miracle that this dog survive the many dibbler meatloaf he eat daily.

(3) the specials are people who don't work full time as cops, but will be called in when the watch need more men. Some notable member are Willikins (seen earlier in this chapter) and the librarian (of the Special Ape Services). Some people are not accepted, like Mustrum Ridcully, as well as Tusmrut Rudcillu, the not archancelor of the unseen university, who was not Ridcully in a disguise.


	9. preparation

Hello everyone.

I said I would publish every month, and I will do it, even if it is 2 day before the next month.

anyway, here is the ninth chapter of _void on a turtle_. I had a hard time starting to write it, but once I was launched, I kept going, and eventualy the chapter ended up being longer than what I intended.

I would like to thank Aankh again for helping me.

I dont own Neither the discworld or Familiar of Zero

Enjoy.

* * *

VIMAIRE'S OFFICE, ANKH MORPORK, 26 SEKTOBER, AT 22h23.

The office was dimly lit, despite the two person inside. Not that it was something that made them uncomfortable, the two of them were used to low luminosity, either thought a youth spent underground or a lifetime of night patrols. Beside, they had more to worry about than the weak light of a few candles.

Vimaire, sitting on his chair and doing paperwork, was boiling internally, to the point that he would foam from the mouth had he no control over himself. He was stuck in here to oversee the operation, instead of being on the street, solving the case... It was his son, damn-it! He knew why Carrot did not let him go, but knowing that the captain was right did not make him feel better. There was a horrifying feeling in knowing there was a problem, but being aware that you would only make things worse, that you would do the thing you're supposed to fight. He felt useless, powerless and devoid of options. It made him slightly regret the harsh words he had for Louise. But she was far too young to be involved in this, she would only get hurt.

Right now, he could only wait for his men to find something. He would say that the life of his son was in their hands, but that would be unfair to put the responsibility on them. The one that held his son's life in his palm was Golneus. If that bast...

"Sir!"

The commander raised his head and looked at Carrot. The captain was looking at him in the eye, with his piercing gaze, before moving his it to his superior's hand. Inside Vimaire's palm was a crushed pen, its ink smearing between his fingers like indigo blood.

"Damn-it! Sorry Carrot, I was not paying attention."

"I can see that Commander. I know that it must be very hard for you, but getting angry will not resolve anything."

Of course you know it is hard, thought Vimaire. You always understand people, even if you rarely act like them. When your girlfriend got abducted, you stayed perfectly calm, you even took a nap. He felt like he wanted to be angry at the captain, but he knew Carrot was right. In this kind of situation, the success was not determined by people that got furious, like himself. It was cool headed persons that were the fittest to supervise the search for a missing child. And Carrot's head was nearing the absolute zero. Being angry at him would be like lashing out at your raft when you're in the middle of the ocean.

"Yes I know that. That's why I agreed to stay inside. But I can't fully calm down. My child is missing damn-it..."

"That's understandable. Would you like me to ask for Igor another one of his calming medicine?" Carrot stood up, picked the mug of the commander(1), and motioned toward the door. Vimaire was about to answer, but was cut by the knocking sound from said door.

"Come in..." He said, while Carrot sat himself again.

Entering the room was constable Shoe, the zombie, but he was followed by someone.

"Commander, it's..." Started the differently living.

"No need, Reg, I have an idea..." Said Vimaire "So, Purity, let me guess, Louise got hurt trying to escape?"

"Actually..." Tried to say Shoe.

"Not now, Shoe, I'm sure I can listen to what she have to say myself. So... What is it?"

"Will... We were not able to stop her from escaping" Said the maid with an instant of hesitation.

"whatdidyousaypurity?"

"Louise escaped. She tricked us and left the mansion."

"Could you repeat that? Cause it sound like you are saying that Louise escaped when she was supposed not to." The face of joviality on Vimaire's face was not fooling anyone, and both Shoe and Purity took a step back. Carrot, however, seemed completely unaffected from the outside, but people who knew him would be able to tell that he was worried about his superior's reaction. Otherwise, he would have already asked Purity information on how Louise escaped.

"I'm really sorry, sir..." Purity could only mutter so much. Angry as Vimaire was, it was better to not say anything that could make it worse.

Carrot put himself slightly between Vimaire and Purity, not enough to block the view of Vimaire, because that would make him even more annoyed, but enough to face him and look at him in the eye.

"Sir..." Spoke the captain "While this is troublesome, please remain calm. If this girl as managed to escape your butler and staff, then I'm sure she is competent enough to handle herself for a night in the streets."

Vimaire turned his head to glare at Carrot.

"Carrot, didn't you think about it? She wanted to help find Sam. It's not a knight outside she is having, she is trying to catch a dangerous criminal that even we have trouble finding! A criminal that has my son hostage! And the last thing I want is Grumb with another prisoner, even more so if said prisoner is ..." He stopped before revealing that Louise was a noble from another country(2). But it remained that when her parents would come get her, telling them "I'm sorry, but your daughter died while in our care because we could not deal with our own criminals fast enough" was a sure way to start a conflict. And there will be lots of meeting, of diplomacy, and Vimaire hated his job as a diplomat.

"She's what?" asked Shoe. Many the member of the watch had a pool going on what was Louise's true origins(2), and Reginald was among them.

"Nothing Reginald, besides we have more important things to do. I'm going after her. Send the message to everyone to keep an eye out for any child sized suspicious person... No wait, the dwarf wont like it! Carrot, do we have any pink haired agent?"

"No sir"

"Good, tell them to try and catch any pink haired suspicious person!"

"Do we send Angua after her?" asked the captain.

"No, Angua and the tracking experts stay on the tracks of Grumb, we can't have them do anything else." Vimaire took his cloak and pulled his badge out of his drawer. "Reg, you're coming with me, I might need a pair of extra arms. And don't tell Igor I said that, he might get the wrong idea"

"Yes sir!" answered the zombie, who exited the room to wait for Vimaire in the hallway.

Before leaving, Vimaire stopped an instant, before turning toward Purity

"And Purity, don't beat yourself over it. Children at that age surprise everyone, and they tend to be way more resourceful than expected."

"Yes sir." she simply answered, but you could feel a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulder.

"Well, that's good. Carrot, I trust you to keep the operation working. Later!"

 _(1) normally, this mug would be filled with coffee, but the captain decided today was not the kind of day one should drink coffee._

 _(2) You could bet on someone else theory. The winners will get a whole week of having their drinks paid by everyone else. Make that one month if it was your theory. Right now there was "Louise is Vimaire's distant relative", "Vimaire illegitimate child" (this one was still going), "the daughter of a powerful witch", "a witch herself", "related to some royalty" and many others._

/

UNSEEN UNIVERSITY, AT THE SAME INSTANT

"Arch-chancellor, I don't think this would be a good idea." said the dean, nervously looking at the ballist the faculty had put on the table, facing the door of the library.

"Oh, stop it, you spineless wimp. We're just gonna go inside the library forcefully, since SOMEONE DECIDED TO CLOSE IT TO THE PUBLIC"'

Only the silence answered Ridcully's intense insinuation.

"But we do not know what's behind, sir. We could hurt him, or worse, damage a book." said the dean

A small doubt appeared in the Arch-chancellor eyes. After all, nobody wants to be the one that get the Librarian angry. For pretty good reason. A fully grown orangutan punch could knock a troll's teeth out of its mouth. (3)

"Well...it's... It's his fault. And beside, you all agreed to it, so we will all share the punishment"

"But you force..."

"NOT NOW HENRY! STOP TRYING TO DUMP YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES ON SOMEONE ELSE!"

"But you just..."

"NO BUT! WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER! AND DON'T TAKE THAT EXASPERATED LOOK WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Shouted Ridcully

A dozen of servants entered the antechamber, carrying trays of various foods and drinks. They all stopped in their tracks, surprised to see a war machine on the table of mages.

Ridcully looked at them, then snapped back his attention to the dean. "Saved by the bell, Henry!" He then turned toward the rest of the faculty "What are you waiting for, you lazy old worm. Move the engine out of the way, we need to eat."

They did so, demonstrating impressive coordination, the kind they only showed when food was at stake. They each had cast a spell to lighten the engine, before all together lifting it and putting it sideways against the wall. The job done, they all turned toward the servants, looked at the composition of their lunch, then let out a disappointed sight with perfect synchronization.

"This little?! This is torture, how are we supposed to eat properly with only 7 variety of desserts?" Said the lecturer in ancient rune.

"Shut up, will you!" whispered the chair of indefinite study. "The arch-chancellor think it is proper nourishment for the situation. I completely disagree with him, but I don't want him furious at me like he was with Henry a minute ago."

"Mmph! Well in that case I accept to endure this atrocious ordeal for now."

While the mages where eating, the servants where waiting outside the antechamber for them to finish, so they could clean up. They were not really displeased by the way the mage were mistaken about the whereabouts of the librarian and Stibbon. It meant less food to prepare, and less plates to clean, so really, none of them felt like they were in a hurry to tell them where the two went. They even had a pool(4) going on how fast the mages will discover the truth, if at all.

The servants where busy discussing, smoking, and placing bets when they heard footsteps coming their way. Like a bunch of flamingo, they all turned their head toward the sound, focusing on what was composing it. There was metal clanking, but it was not the step themselves. The pace was high, meaning that whatever was coming, it was impatient. Also, they could hear faint groaning with metallic echoes. That was rather intimidating. When the "thing" turned the corner to face them, they saw an small humanoid silhouette with an old iron helmet and a black cloak, a slightly ached back, and a resonating groan of frustration. And was that a wand at its hips? They all decided that whatever that furious looking, pint-sized armored fairy god-mother was here for, it was for the mages to deal with, and besides, they where sure they heard Mrs. Whitlow calling them, so they had no excuse to stay here.

 _(3) trolls tooth are diamond, and the reason said troll still have some in their mouth his because the tooth are determined to stay here. And believe me, many humans and dwarves have tried to remove them._

 _(4) yes, it is the second pool this chapter._

/

Louise was about to ask a bunch of servants where she could find the librarian or Stibbons, but for some reason they all ran away as soon as they saw her. How disrespectful. She will warn the Arch-chancellor of the improper behavior of their staff. Well, anyway, she would find help by herself. No need for anyone to guide her.

She kept going though the corridor until she reached the antechamber, and was surprised to see the door to the Library closed, and a bunch of "fortifications" put up by the mages, who were eating a copious (if small for their standards) amount of food. The mages stopped their chewing to look at the intruder with the helmet.

"Ah Arch-chancellor! finally I found someone who could help me..." She said, removing the helmet.

"Louise! What are you doing this late at night?! Does Vimaire know you are here?" Said The chair of indefinite study.

"N... Yes, Vimaire is well aware I am here and do not need to be told anymore."

"Ha, I knew he was a good man, letting kids do night time escapades and adventures!" half shouted Ridcully (5). "So, what did you come here for? Want to learn some magic secrets? Or perhaps you want me to teach you how to hunt with a crossbow? It is rather late to get bird, but I heard that bat are very good game."

"What? No, I'm here because I need help to find... Something. I thought the Librarian or Stibbons could help me." She swore she could have heard Ridcully thinking a swear about those two. "I already went to the High energy department, but Stibbons was not here. So I though I would ask the librarian instead."

"And you did not think we could help you, is that it?" groaned Ridcully. "You think of us as useless old men?"

"Do you really think that of us, Louise?" asked the Lecturer in recent runes, visibly hurt by the insinuation.

"Noooooooo..." Started Louise, before realizing this was an obvious lie. They helped her before, or at least tried, she had least had to show them honesty "Ok, yes, I admit that I view Stibbons and the librarian as the most competent among you. So far, the librarian was the most responsible, and Stibbons was the only one to focus on finding a way to get me back home."

"That's not true, we can be as responsible as the librarian!" Said the dean, trying to look as indignant as possible.

"No Henry, she have a point, all of you are pretty childish!" Said Ridcully to his subordinates.

"I think she included you in the irresponsible, sir" whispered the chair of indefinite study.

"WHAT! F**CK THAT NOISE! I'm super responsible and mature" All of the mages looked at each other. They all wanted to make a comment, but none of them wanted to face the consequences of it.

"Anyway!" Said Louise, trying to get the mages' attention on her. "Is the library closed?"

"Yes, Valiere..." Spewed the angry Arch-chancellor. "... Your oh so mature and competent Orangutan closed his door to the public for no apparent reasons. Look like you're gonna need our help, will this suffice?"

"Damn, I don't know. Do you have something to locate objects or persons?"

"Yes we d... Why would you need that?" Asked the dean.

Louise hesitated. They were apparently unaware of what happened with Sam junior, but she could not tell them she was trying to get him back. Chances are, they were actually responsible enough to realize she was not supposed to be here, and would bring her back to Vimaire. But she needed something that could locate a living being.

"One of lady Ramkin's dragon escaped, and I want to find it before she wakes up." She lied, hoping the mages would not realize it. "That's why I need something that can help me find a living being. Please?"

"Hmph, I do have something like that!" said Ridcully. "Or I would have a mirror that I use to locate animals when I go hunting, if only I was a responsible adult. Which I am not apparently!"*

"But you have one? Really?" Asked Louise, full of hope.

"..." Ridcully did not answer, turning his back to the young girl.

"Please Arch-chancellor, it is really important for me! Lady Ramkin have been so nice to me, I need to help her in return!"

"..."

"Alright, if you can help me, I will admit that you are as mature and competent as the Librarian and Stibbons." She said

"And what about us?" asked the dean.

"One thing at a time, I've already changed my standards a lot, you'll have to wait for your turn."

"Oh!" Said all the mages minus Ridcully, visibly disappointed.

Ridcully, while still turning his back to Louise, was thinking. This was definitively a time where one had to help a kid on their first hunt. She was not going to kill the beast, of course, but everyone starts small. If he helped her, before long she would be hunting large animals with a powerful crossbow like he himself did. He could tell this kid had a great potential for something. Why not try hunting.

"FINE! Follow me Louise, I'm gonna lend you a tool to find the dragon." He said, while power walking out of the antechamber, Louise right behind him.

They walked in the corridor of the Unseen University, passing in front of many doors , before finally arriving at their destination: Ridcully's room. The Arch-chancellor pushed open the door and motioned Louise to come inside. Inside the room were many naturalized animals and crossbows. From small and silent crossbow to hunt furtively to big and bulky killing engines. There even was a sort of underwater crossbow, that's shot a harpoon instead of bolts.

"This is my arsenal. I would let you borrow one, but you need the dragon alive, so it won't really be a good thing. Anyway, look at my collection while I search for the mirror." He started rumbling inside a drawer, throwing various ammunition, empty bottles of alcohol, and pipe herbs with strange colors. Louise was focusing on the arsenal. There was enough weapons here to arm a whole regiment. While those commoner weapons where inferior to the magic of a noble, they were still lethal. But she wondered why this man, probably incredibly powerful, bothered to use such lowly tools. Some of them could be useful, like the underwater one, or the very small one, but a mage would have an easier time killing with magic. Perhaps Ridcully was one of those "Magic integrist" that don't want magic to be used when not necessary. Or perhaps he just liked the weapons. Her own father had a saber collection, despite never using any of them. Maybe Ridcully just liked to look at those weapons. Who was she to judge an old man's

passion. Looking at the weapons, a thought passed thought her skull. Weapons were easily accessible in Ankh Mopork. What if Grumb had one such weapons. One of those nasty crossbows. How would she deal with that? How could she defend herself against a grown man with weapons made to put holes in armor? She was a mage sure, but using her magic in any other way than blowing things up was not her forte.

"HA... There it is!" Shouted Ridcully, making the young girl jump in fright "The latest development in scrying magic. It's a prototype, made by the high energy department. I don't know how it works, it's supposed to read the "signature aurora" or something. But with it you will find the dragon quickly."

She looked at the small mirror in Ridcully's hand. Barely bigger than a palm, the piece of glass was of a strange golden color, with tiny scriptures on it. It was round, but with an uneven and sharp exterior, looking like a tiny chained sun, one that people could wear as necklace.

"How does it work?"

"Simple. You put your finger in the middle, think about your target, and then it will present where the target is. Very easy, very use... " Ridcully stopped talking, as if he realized something.

"Very what?" asked Louise.

"Hang on a second" He said, putting his finger in the middle of the tool. Quickly, undulation appeared, before revealing a map of what Louise supposed was the disk, with one bright point shining in the middle of the circular sea. Ridcully started becoming more and more red by the second, slowly put the tool in Louise's hand, before storming out of the room, shouting " THOSE INCOMPETENT GEEZERS! I'M SURE THEY WERE AWARE OF IT! MAKING ME BELIEVE THAT THE LIBRARIAN WAS SILL AROUND?! I'M GONNA SHOW THEM WHAT HAPPEN WHEN YOU MAKE A FOOL OF ME!"

"WAIT ARCH-CHANCELLOR, WHAT ABOUT ME?" asked Louise.

"CLOSE THE DOOR WHEN YOU LEAVE! AND DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR THOSE GEEZERS! THEY HAD IT COMING!"

Louise tried not to, be she could not help but feel sorry for the faculty. There was no doubt that they were as clueless as the arch-Chancellor about the Librarian's whereabouts. They did not deserve what was coming for them. She simply hoped their punishment would not be too harsh. But an arch-chancellor made law in his academy.

She turned back her attention toward the wall of weapons. Well, Ridcully did not say anything about not taking one. And besides, it could be a life and death situation. She'd better have something up her sleeve. A small crossbow to be precise. She hid it under her sleeve, put the helmet back, and left the room, closing the door behind her. She was as ready as she could get on such short notice. And Brimir be damned, it will be enough.

 _(5) half shouting is Ridcully lowest speaking level._

/

23h05, ANKH MORPORK STREETS.

Three people were discussing with animosity in a dark street, trying to show their anger while whispering. Everyone who ever tried that would know that it makes the throat hurt like hell. And this pain only made those three even angrier.

"For the last time, guys, I can't reveal you anything about the case. Hell, how the F*** do you even know I work for Cable Street." said the first, a woman.

"Lucienne, Please, it would make us famous news reporters. Don't you care about your friends' future?" said the second, another woman, smaller.

"Funny you would say that, Andrea, because last time I recall, friends sometimes pay their own drink." Answered Sunny Lucienne, particular from Cable Street,

"Well, we could pay for our drinks if someone would let us have something to make a cool article" Said the third one, a stout man.

"Shut it, Arthur. You would have money if you bothered to do actual news report." groaned Lucienne.

"But we're doing better than that, Lucienne. We're doing investigative journalism, and that's so much better" Answered Andrea William, reporter at the Authentic.

"I'm a damn cop, idiot. I know damn well when I see investigation. And what you guys do is far from it."

"You mean following peoples around, asking annoying questions, pissing people off, and breaking into people..Ouch!" Started Arthur Harring, photographer for the Authentic, and Andrea's "Side Kick", before his teammate elbowed him in the stomach.

"What Arthur's trying to say, is that what we are doing, you cops do it too."

"Well, no, because... Huh... Because we do it for the well being of society! And beside when we do it, it's with Vimaire's agreement. Nah." Answered Lucienne, unsure of her own answer.

"OH so Vimaire say it's okay, and it is. Such simplicity. But tell me, Sunny Lucienne. Did it occur to you that maybe Vimaire might be..." Andrea let the end of her sentence hang in the air, trying to make it as impactful as possible.

"Don't say it!" groaned Lucienne

"...WRONG!" The final word on the sentence fell with so much weight on Lucienne that she took it as a personal attack. She jumped at Andrea's face, hand compacted in a fist for maximum impact. Andrea tried to lower herself and elbow her opponent in the abdomen, but Lucienne was not a slouch, and stroke the elbow with her own knee, before opening her leg up and whipping Andrea's forward leg with her feet. Andrea fell backwards in a sitting position, and started massaging her injured leg.

"Seriously, what the f*** Lucienne, you can't attack everyone who has something bad to say about your boss"

"I can and I will, Arthur. I take job fidelity to new extreme."

"It's not even as if he like that attitude of yours! He think you're too zealous!" spewed Andrea with much anger.

"Yeah, but too much is better than not enough!"

"I don't think that's how it work Lucienne" groaned and exasperated Arthur.

"Well I don't care how you think it work. I'm good at my job 'cause I do zeal, so you better sh..." Lucienne stopped mid sentence, to look further away in the street. She just saw a young girl with a helmet, and a cloak she recognized. She was aware Louise was out. It could only be her.

"What, won't even bother to finish your sent... Ouch, WHAT THE HELL LUCIENNE!" said Andrea, who just got punched in the nose.

"Shut up. I just saw pink hair, a wand and a weird necklace. Sound fishy to me. Go get the officer, they'll know what it mean." said Lucienne.

"...NO! F*** YOU LUCIENNE!" Shouted Andrea. "I'm not gonna be some courtiers for you. Do you're own damn 'oh so glorious and cool' cop job!"

Lucienne looked at where she saw Louise, now gone, than back at Andrea. "GODS F***ING DAMN-IT, YOU PARASITES ARE NASTIER THAN DIBLER'S FOOD! FINE, I'LL GO MYSELF, BUT YOU'RE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE FOR THAT." She shouted, while walking away angrily toward where Louise was, before disappearing in an adjacent street.

Arthur helped his partner to stand up. "She really is a hellion."

"Nah, hellions are way nicer." Said Andrea. "So what do we do? Our scoop is dead, I'm bleeding and my leg hurt like hell's hell."

"That's good then. Hell's hell is heaven."

"Gods damn-it Arthur, now's not the time to be a smartass."

"Well, about what we could do, we could follow her, and make a news article about what we'll see." He proposed. "It's as good as any idea."

"No, you're crazy. We will ruin her carrier as undercover agent..." Andrea thought about it a second. "Actually, let's do that. I want to get back at her. That'll show her to punch me. And beside, if she fails, we'll get to rub salt in her wound."

"If she's a hellion, you're a devil. But I'm glad we're allies."

"You got your Box(6)?"

"Always with me."

"Fine, lets go. Let's show them that paparazzi are better at spying than cops." the two of them started following Lucienne from a safe distance, while she herself was following the trail of Louise, who was following the indications of the mirror.

 _(6) a small box with an imp inside that draw picture of what you show him._

chapter end.


	10. The smug criminal

Hello everyone.

This chapter is a bit late, for multiples reasons. First, I started working on this chapter later than I expected, wasting time by watching BBC documentary with David Attenborough. Later, after I had finished the first version, I kept delaying the correction in favor of working on another project of mine. And finally, I have been way more careful in my correction this time and asked for more peoples to proofread the chapter.

I would Like to thank Antenix, Rouzig, Nescofar, and Aankh for proofreading the chapter.

I also thank S.A, Zarbapha and the mysterious guest N°2 for their helpful comment. I did take your advice into account during my correction.

also:

-Zarbapha: on the matter of Louise characterization being odd, I do agree. I feel I sort of forced an archetype on her, but to my defense, I had a hard time understanding her character while watching the show. Besides, I'm not trying to be a 100% faithful to the canon of either series, even though I still try to not make any big mistake (mostly for the disc canon, since it is the setting of the fic)

-S.A: Yeah, it's true that I made Louise accept her new situation too quickly. If she thought that she was just in a faraway land, there would have been quite a few storyline to be made: Louise trying to embark on a ship to go back, or searching the geographical wing of the UU to find a map, and so on... I did miss an opportunity. And it's true that the reveal of the disc flatness came to quickly. As you said, it lacked buildup to be effective. I wanted to go as soon as possible on the introduction of more disc characters, and I missed an opportunity to do better. On the magic of the two settings: I do agree that disc magic is more advanced than Brimir magic, which is still full of dogma and useless traditions. But I did not want the focus of this fic to be on which magic is the better. The big difference in the two world is how magic is part of society. Halkeginia's society is built on it, while on the disc, it is seen as more trouble than it is worth. This is the cultural choc that will force Louise to reconsider her view on magic. Not the power of the mages of the UU.

besides the answer to those comments, I have a few thing to say:

first, I'm going to work on correcting the early chapter of the fic. Because of that and other important things for me to do, I won't post the 11th chapter during March. Sorry.

second, I'm not sure if the content of this chapter is okay for T (the explication of the rating is not very clear), so for safety I'm changing the rating to M. I just don't want any problem. If I was overreacting, please tell me in the comments.

and third: This is the tenth chapter, and I would like to thank everyone who read this fic. Thank you.

now, Have a good read, and don't hesitate to comment.

I do not own either the Discworld or the familiar of zero.

* * *

SMALL WAREHOUSE, NEAR THE ANKH RIVER, 23H30

Samuel Vimaire Junior's father was kind of a big deal. He was, after all, Commander of the Ankh-Morpork city watch, the most effective police force on the disc. Under him, the Watch started being more organized and began peoples from minorities. In addition to being the son of a commander, the young Sam was the son of a duke and a diplomat of the city. His mother was the world leader in dragon raising, a cultural sensation among the dwarf of uberwald(1), and had connections everywhere on the disc. Being the son of peoples so famous, and so influential, he did get in trouble. He was told that once, when still a toddler, a commando of fanatic dwarfs tried to kill him and his mother. Since then, there hasn't been any overt aggression. But they had been much less obvious actions against him, like people trying to manipulate him, or a conspiracy to make disappear his favorites toys.

This, however, was the first time since he could remember that someone took him hostage. He wanted to be brave like his father, but he was terrified. A man with a scary face had caught him when he fell from the wall. Any respectable person would have led him back to his dad, but this one decided to keep him as a hostage. He was scared, and he missed his mom and his dad and he wanted to go home. He would be crying with loud sob if his captor hadn't put a piece of cloth in his mouth to shut him. So instead, he remained silent, as tears flowed on his cheek.

"Iou'r stayll craying, kid? T'ays useless, iour dad waont be sayving iou." His captor, Grumb Golneus, spoke with a strange accent that made it hard to understand what he was saying. But mockery is universally understood. "Iour gonna be may saving rope. As long as ay have iou, iour dad won't dare approach. He cares about iou too much to raysque anay harms to iou." Grumb looked away for an instant, closing his eyes as if he was savoring his own word. "Ay'm the smartest, ayf ay could come up wayth such a plan. Smarter than the watch, bay far" Gloated the criminal.

Young Sam had seen arrogant peoples many times. He had met pretentious noble and fortunes during a few parties with the upper crust. Grumb would fit right in, provided he washed his face and wore clothes that had not served as napkins in their previous life. The pride of this man was on par with that of decadent Marquis. Trying to not think about his situation, Sam began to imagine Grumb in ridiculous and expensive clothing. It made the man look less frightening.

For a short while only. Grumb saw the kid relaxing and calming down. And he did not like when peoples reacted differently than he expected. This kid HAD to be scared. He should not be allowed to calm down. The kidnapper took a crate and threw it next to Sam.

"KEEP CRAYING!" Those words were useless. Sam would have cried wether Grumb had said them or not. Tears began to flow again on the kid's cheek, harder than before.

(1) Dwarfs became really fond of her when she performed, in front of many dwarven notables, a perfect performance of a famous dwarven opera. That and her charming personality did help.

* * *

STREET OF ANKH-MOPORK, 23h40

As useful as the tracking mirror was, it's small screen and colors made it quite hard to use. The bright yellow dot and line were not the easiest thing to read on a golden background. Louise took the wrong turn more than she would ever admit and almost threw the tool away in frustration. But she was getting closer. She was only a few blocks away from the young Sam, according to the mirror. This improved her mood slightly, though she was still worried about what that Grumb was capable of.

Still, she had the feeling that she was followed. She tried not to give it too much attention, but she could not help but feel like someone was trying to reach her. In a city where werewolves and vampires can be a full-fledged citizen, being followed in the night brought a new level of worry. What if it was a ferocious wolf person, hungry and tracking her for their next lunch? Or a vampire in search of a new victim to quench his thirst? And what about other undead, ghosts, and creatures of the night. She definitively did not feel safe alone at night.

But it was a necessary risk. She could not stay at the house. She could not let Vimaire look down on her. She had to prove herself.

She needed to calm down. It was probably nothing. A beggar perhaps? More probably, a small dog wandering in the night. Small dogs are not magical, so she probably did not need to worry. And besides, she was nearly there. She just had to turn in the next alley on the right... Or was it the second on the left?

* * *

ANOTHER STREET, 23h41

tracking a kid in the street is difficult. It was lucky for Sunny that she had a formation on urban tracking. It was a mandatory curriculum for any agent of cable street. It was also a secret among the group and for that reasons was not known by any outsider(2).

It was not perfect, but for it to fail, the target had to blur their trail. Louise was unaware of being followed, so she was not going to care about leaving traces. That made Sunny job far easier. She would catch up to Louise sooner or later.

She hoped for it to be sooner though. She felt a presence behind her. A presence she wanted to punch, for some reason. But it was probably just her frustration. There was no way that Andrea and Arthur would have the guts to follow her. She was probably just frustrated about their last conversation. Ignoring her worry, she focused on the trail of cracked ice.

(2)even narrators are not informed about the content of this special tracking technique.

* * *

20 METER BEHIND SUNNY, 23h43

If Sunny was wrong about something, it was on the reporter's mindset. Because while Andrea and Arthur would not dare to face her directly, they definitively had no problem following her. And they were paparazzi. They were very good at following peoples.

the two of them had been shadowing the cop since she hit Andrea. They stayed at a safe distance, only showing their head to peek around a corner and see where she went. They were careful to not expose themselves, using all tool unwanted reporters have at their disposal.

But Arthur was annoying Andrea. He kept looking nervously behind himself in the dark street.

"Arthur?! what are you doing?!" Asked Andrea.

"I have a bad feeling. It's as if we are being watched."

"By what? We are shadowing a cop who is shadowing a teenager who is tracking a criminal. This is already a big joke, its unrealistic for the gag to go further."

"That makes no sense. If someone is following us, they won't stop just because it will be too funny." right as he said that, they heard a garbage can falling behind them. It rolled into view from an adjacent street, pushed by a small dirty dog digging into the trash.

"Congratulation Arthur. You were right, someone was following us, and not something. It is clearly a dangerous dog that's gonna be trouble for us." Andrea sighted "We don't have time for that! It's a tiny dog! What's it gonna do, furiously nibble our feet? We have more important to do!"

"But I thought..."

"You thought of something useless and that is irrelevant to our current objective. Now shut up! We have a cop to follow." She turned her back to the dog, focusing again her whole attention toward following Lucienne.

Arthur started following her, but in a moment of doubt, turned to look at the dog a final time. It was waging its tail, probably happy to find a bone. Arthur felt a bit of envy for the dog. Its life must be so simple. No money to make, no superior and colleague to take advantage of you. Although the disease of that stray dog might be too much for his taste. The paparazzi left, following his colleague.

Out of his hearing range, the dog had a small groan, then left in the opposite direction, whispering "Nothing important, just two revengeful jerks."

* * *

Louise peaked around the corner. According to the tracking mirror, Sam was here, inside a warehouse, on the border of the wharf. Years of proximity with the "muddy"(3) Ankh river corroded the brick and covered them with a yellowish layer of scum. The sight was not pretty, but Louise focused on it. She would focus on anything as long as it was not the smell. This river's smell was to the nose what Dibbler's food was to the mouth: an unpleasant guest. The putrid vapor was even capable of spreading despite the "ice" crust that covered the river. Could it be called ice? It was more like cold ground at this point.

The reflexion on the nature of the Ankh would wait. Now was  
the time to act. She was outside, in the cold, and her objective, as well as her enemy, were inside. Obviously, she needed to go inside. But without being spotted by that criminal. She looked at the warehouse. The windows were big enough for a grown man to pass, and a grown man was way bigger than her. It would be perfect, if only it was not so high. All she would get for trying would be a painful fall and a failure of her infiltration. But it was out of the question to use the front door. The kidnapper was certainly waiting for people to use it. She had to find another way. Louise moved in the street around the warehouse, trying to remain hidden. She was trying to find the best angle. To no avails. The warehouse did not have a secret door, nor did it had any lower window. The only way in for her was by the main door. Louise cursed silently at whoever designed a warehouse with no backdoor.

Then it hit her(4). If this warehouse was so close to the river was probably because it was used for riverine trade. And since she came to this city, she began to understand that those peoples were not, in fact, honest citizen. There was a high probability that this old warehouse was created for some criminal activity. The spot

was also perfect for smugglers to hide their ware, being situated in a part of the city that was not welcoming for cops, long ago. If Louise had been a criminal with a warehouse immediately next to a river, she would have made a secret door behind, only accessible via boat.

Not bothering to ask herself how she knew about the district criminal history, Louise moved near the limit of the wharf, then leaned as far as she could to get a good view of the back of the warehouse. Indeed, her intuition was right. There was a small door at water level. In the moonlight, Louise could see that it was not even locked, at least not from the outside. It was her chance. Then Louise remembered that she needed to cross a small portion of the Ankh to get to it. And since she did not have a boat, she will have to have to walk on the frozen river. The girl gulped and took the nearest ladder to go down on the solid water. Delicately, she put her feet on the surface, praying Brimmir for it to not break. A silence and a stable feeling under her feet renewed her faith. Slowly as not to slip, she approached the door, holding the Wharf's stones for better stability. A few times, she heard a cracking sound under her, but nothing happened. After a long and stressful minute, she finally reached the door. The rusty lock already broken, she pushed the door open slowly, hoping to make as little sound as possible. It did not make a sound but blocked halfway thought. Louise grumbled. The opening was very small, And she doubted she could pass with her helmet on. It was too large for such a small opening. Leaving a piece of protection behind was not something that reassured Louise, but she needed to keep going. She put the helmet on the side, and advanced sideway inside the warehouse.

Inside the warehouse were wooden crates. Lots and lots of it, all put together in piles that reduced the visibility. Louise listened carefully. She tried to hear anything that could give her any indication of where the child was. At first, there was nothing. No sound. The warehouse was completely silent, except for her own respiration, and even that she could barely hear. She focused furthermore. Still nothing. No voice, no steps, nothing. That is until she heard the faintest sound she ever bothered to listen. Any other day, she would not have given any attention to something that small, that insignificant. But now, this was all she had, this little whimper of a child, muffled by something. It was definitively sam. And he was alive. Good. She began to walk slowly toward the origin of the sound, being careful to peek behind the boxes piles, in case Grumb was waiting just behind one.

She found them just in front of the main door. It was a good call to not use it, she thought. Sam was sitting with his back on a crate, tied up and with a piece of clothing in the mouth, while his captor was waiting nearby on a wooden box, carefully looking around. Louise quickly went back to hiding. Luckily for her, the man had not seen her. But she could guess he was very cautious.

 _how can I get him to leave_ , she thought, _I can not get to Sam if he is still around, but he watches so closely that if I try to get close, he will catch me instantly. I need to make a diversion._

Louise looked at her belt, remembering that she had a few tool with her. She could go straight to the fight and attack him with her crossbow. But if she missed that shot, it would be bad. Also, she was sure that this man was not above harming Sam if needed. Going straight up for the confrontation might be risky, as he might take sam as a hostage and use him as a shield. Louise reflected on her options. At her belt, she had the small mirror, the crossbow, a small sword (or was it a dagger?), and her wand. She could always throw one away to make a diversion. It was out of the question to throw her wand, and the mirror was probably a way too valuable relic to be treated as a mere distraction. And while the two others were weapons, a crossbow was perhaps more useful against an opponent bigger than her. She removed the sword from its scabbard, aimed at the furthest corner of the warehouse, and threw it with all her inconsiderable might. The weapons did not go far, but it flew above a single pile of boxes, so at least she did not reveal her location. It fell on the ground with a loud metal noise that echoed multiple time inside the building. The echoes had not even stopped that Louise heard the sound of steps going toward its origin. She quickly hid behind a crate and waited for the man to go further away. Then she ran toward where Sam was, ready to free him.

Or she would have liked. As soon as she could see Sam, she began to run toward him but felt someone pushing her from behind. She hit the ground and tried to stand up, but a kick in the side sent her back on the floor.

"The thrown diversayon?! Reallay?! Iou thaynk Ay'm dumb enough to fall for the oldest trayck ayn the book?!" Shouted the furious criminal. "You thaynk Ay'm dumb, do iou?! DO IOU?!" Louise tried to take her wand, but a heavy boot stomped her grasping finger. "Not That wayth may!" said Grumb, throwing the tool away in a kick. He pulled the girl's arm, making her stand up violently. It all happened so fast that she did not even have the time to pull the crossbow. "Ay have no use of another hostage. Sorray kayddo, but ayt's the end for iou." he lifted a hand, preparing to strike...

"UNHAND HER, GOLNEUS GRUMB!" Shooted someone behind him. Both the criminal and Louise turned toward the origin of the voice. Dropping from a pile of boxes, near a shattered window, Sunny hit the ground, stood up, and launched a furious glare at the criminal, before launching herself toward him. He considered using the young girl as a shield but came quickly to the conclusion that he did not have the time to make such decision. Mainly because Sunny had already thrown herself on him, furiously screaming, grappling him and violently hitting his hips and calves with her knee. Grumb was forced to defend himself from the get-go. He released Louise to bring his second hand to protect his face from an incoming elbow.

Louise wanted to help in this fight. She really did. But she had no idea of how she could help Sunny. The fight was too furious for her to understand where to start attacking. She turned her gaze toward sam. She was here to save him. She could let sunny handle it for now. She ran to the kid and began to untie him. "It's okay Sam. We're here now. We'll get you out of here"

"Is dad coming?" asked young Sam.

This question slightly irritated Louise. She wanted to say "I'm the one here trying to save you, and you don't even believe I can make it? This is really ungrateful of you Sam.", but she knew that it would be unfair to Sam. It was normal for kids to want their parents to be here when they were scared. So instead, she said: "Yes Sam. Your father is coming soon, with the others officers of the watch to help us." Now was the time to reassure him.

Behind Louise, the fight was going strong. Sunny kept grappling and kicking Grumb savagely, trying to leave him as little rest as possible. She had been briefed on Grumb past crimes earlier, this man had already killed, with or without weapons. She could not afford to go easy. She sent her knee flying in his side with all her might, in an attempt to make him lose balance than lowered her leg to regain her own stability and prepare the following move. But her leg would not go down. She lowered her gaze an instant and realized that grumb had grabbed her knee. Before she could even react, Grumb kicked her other leg before stepping back, making her fall on the ground in an uneven manner. She could feel that her left shoulder took most of the impact. The pain made her wonder if it was broken. But it was not over. She saw Grumb raise his heel, and lower it violently on the leg he was holding.

Louise heard Sunny's scream behind her as if she broke a limb. She covered Sam's eyes and looked at the fight. Grumb was lifting Sunny by the throat, who's left leg limply dangled. She could see sunny trying to get her hand around her throat. Louise was not familiar with fights, but she could recognize someone being chocked. She realized that if Sunny could not win, then she did not really have a chance. She wanted to flee. Badly. She could take Sam hand, run as fast as they could and try to find a watch officer. Sunny was a cop, after all. It was her job to take risks for others. And besides, Louise was not going to be of any help. And the fight was already over, there was nothing she could do. This was the best choice. The more reasonable one.

the most unsatisfactory too, she felt herself think, to her own surprise. She did not like Sunny, but even so, turning her back to someone in imminent danger was something she felt was despicable.

"Go hide, Sam!" she said to the kid while drawing the crossbow from her belt. It was tiny, even by her standards. But she could feel by handling it that it was well made. The wood felt firm and sturdy, and the different pieces were put together with great care and skills. She hoped she could show the same degree of skills when using it. She armed the weapons with a single bolt, turned toward the criminal, who was just now turning his back to her. She aimed, took an inspiration, and shot. The bolt flew like lightning toward its target, and hit in Grumb left shoulder. The man released Sunny both of choc and pain, a furious groan coming out of him.

"Iou shot me? IOU SHOT ME?" He had a quick glance toward Sunny, a glance full of disinterest and contempt as if he considered her something barely worth his time. "Well, saynce iour frayend is not ayn a condaytion to worray me, Ay'm gonna take care of iou." He began to advance in her direction, cracking his knuckles, slowly, as if he was savoring

the instant. What an evil man, thought Louise. She looked at where her wand was sent earlier. A few meter only separated her from her tool. If she was quick, she could make it, and blast that man away. That was a big if, but she was already in a dire situation, so she had to at least try it. She launched herself into a mad run toward the wand. It took a few instant for Grumb to realize she was not, in fact, running away, but going for the piece of wood that was laying on the ground not far away. When he realized it, he too began running toward the object, and faster than the girl, gaining ground on her with ease. But Louise was not that fare. A few more step and she will have the wand. She reached with her arm and grabbed the tool with her hand, but before she could use it, it was sent flying by a strike of Grumb on her wrist.

"NOT AGAIN!"

"Ayt's a magayk wand, aynt it? Are iou a fairay godmother? Ay, won't let iou use ayt, paypsqueak!" In one swift motion, he grabbed Louise by her neck, lifting her without care, and began contracting her throat. "Iou wants to know may favorayt thayng about strangulation? Iou feels peoples slowly gayvayng up. They realayze they are outsmarted, that iou are both stronger and smarter than them." Louise wanted to point out that strangulation was not a mark of intelligence, but she realized Grumb was right about one thing: She was starting to give up.

(3) muddy as in made of very wet "compost"(3.1)  
(3.1) compost as in poo. no further euphemism.  
(4) An inspiration particle. This one was aimed at a young delinquent in the shade, who just inherited a warehouse from his late smuggler of a father. But something "flicked" it toward Louise. Well, that is one future crime lord less in the future, at least.

* * *

Outside the warehouse, two reporters were in a great state of panic.

"That was Sunny screaming, I tell you. This is bad. This is very bad. What do we do Andrea?"

"No idea Arthur. You think I planned for things to escalate this way? Shit, we came here to humiliate her, not to watch her and a kid dies."

"We should go help!"

"THIS MADMAN MADE A SHORT WORK OF SUNNY! WHAT CAN WE DO, TAKE PICTURES OF HIM?"

"Yeah, no." Arthur seemed to think for a moment. "We should go get help!"

"You mean to get some cops?"

"No, I was thinking of the tooth fairy union... of course cops."

"We can't do that either. It's basically running away and bumping your responsibilities on someone else, combine in a single inaction."

"But we can't do anything else!"

A frustrated look passed on Andrea's face. "Fine, go fetch help. I'm gonna try something."

"What?"

"Go, you're wasting time discussing. Go!"

"But..."

"GO!"

It took an instant for Arthur to go from standing still to running away, searching for a watch officer. He did not waste a time glancing at his partner, and that was better for Andrea. She was climbing the walls, trying to reach for the window sunny already broke. But she was not that great at climber, and she failed multiples times, falling on the cold ground. At the fourth try, she finally reached the window and looked at what was going on inside.

* * *

It was a warm day. The tree of the Valiere garden were all green and although it was a bit late, most of them were blooming. It was a tranquil day of early summer, the kind everyone appreciates, where you can eat outside with your friends and discuss trivial matters. For Louise, it was family instead of friends, but the 10-year-old was still enjoying spending time with her whole family.

 _Wait, no! it's wrong. I'm not 8 years old anymore. And I was in an abandoned warehouse, fighting a madman._

Her parents were busy discussing a few events that happened in the upper class. According to her father, the young Viscount Wardes had just been promoted to lieutenant, and at such a young age. Her mother commented on how she knew this youth had a talent for battle. By the time their youngest daughter enter the academy of Tristain, he would be captain for sure. Her father wondered if his daughter will be worthy of her fiancee. But the duchess mentions that Louise was hardworking and that she won't have any problem.

 _Ok, I see, I'm dead and this is the narration of my life, is it? Well, I hope Sam is safe now._

The young Louise was at the time fascinated by the story of knights and other heroes of the kingdom. While her parents were discussing, she was reading a book on the most famous hero of Tristain. Her favorite was Karin the heavy wind, a hero that shared the same name as her mother. Louise felt a strange connection with this hero as if she had met them somewhere as if she was familiar with them. Because what Louise did not know, was that Karin the heavy wind WAS her mother.

 _As if. I would have liked to have the heavy wind as a parent, but this doesn't work. Mother was barely 18 when Karin the heavy wind was still in the army. And wait a minute. Since when does my memory hold know things I don't know. And who is_ narrating?

the young girl was passionately admiring a drawing of her idol and noticed that the heavy wind had a small sword on the hip, in addition to their wand. She asked her mother...

 _I asked her why would a powerful mage use a mundane sword. Incredible, It's as if I was there. Oh, wait! I was there!_

Can you please stop commenting? I'm narrating here.

 _So there was really someone narrating. Who are you? Are you an angel? A demon?_

Please do stop talking, I'm trying to help you here, so be attentive to what I tell. So, where were we? Ah, yes. Louise asked her mother why Karin the heavy wind had a sword. To what her mother said, and I quote: "Louise..."

 _She said:"Louise, while a wand is a mage's most important tool, it should not be its only one, especially in battle. When fighting, your enemy will try to separate you from your wand, and you need to have an alternative way to defend yourself when that happens." Why do you feel the need to narrate me my own life? I was there, there is no need to remind me what happened. And you still did not answer my question. Who are you?"_

Ho, so you got an eidetic memory or something? In that case, you don't need me to remind you of what she told you afterward? Ungrateful youth, always complaining when you make effort to help them.

 _I'm not gonna be grateful until you tell me who you are and what you try to accomplish. And after that, mother mentioned something about what makes a wand work. but that's not important._

SEE, you don't remember. I knew it. Otherwise, that criminal would already be laying on the ground, his whole body in pain.

 _What that's supposed to mean? I don't see how knowing how are wand made could have helped me?_

Louise, Louise, first of all, stop acting as if the fight is over. You just fell unconscious, you're not dead. And I sure hope you can win the second round, cause I sure as hell don't know anything about resurrections. So listen carefully the rest of the narration, it's gonna save your skin.

 _What do you mean the second_ round? _Even if it was true that I am alive, I cant win against Grumb. He's too fast, and I don't have my wand, and I don't have any alternative weapons anymore._

I'm gonna pretends you are carefully listening because at this point I want this conversation to be over with. In short, your mom told you that "a wand is made of specially prepared metal or wood, but a competent mage can use almost anything made of metal or wood to cast a spell. It will be far weaker, yes, but in a pinch, it can save your life." Here, I said it, now you do whatever you want with this. Thank you, goodbye.

 _Wait, you still did not tell me who you are? Or what you are?_

If I was a vampire I would be called Lautireht. And I'm just an entity with a job. A job that is seriously compromised because SOMEONE is nowhere to be found. But enough chat. It's time to wake up.

* * *

The first thing that Louise perceived when regaining consciousness was a loud wood crushing noise, followed by someone's moan of pain. The second was the feeling of the hands around her neck lessening the pressure. Not too much, but with small respite, she could get a few gulp of air. The oxygen flowing through her veins once again allowed the rest of her body to start recovering. She could hear Grumb laughing at someone else pain and could determine that the subject of the mockery was a woman. She opened her eyes slightly, just enough to look as if she was still unconscious. Grumb was still holding her, but he was not paying her much attention, instead focussing on being a jerk to the woman. From the corner of her eye, Louise could see her, a woman she never met, in the middle of a pile of broken wood crates. Looking up an instant, she could see that she came from the same window than Sunny, who was still on the ground, holding her broken leg.

While everything was sort of fuzzy, Louise knew she did not have much time to act. Discreetly, she moved her hand at her belt to see if she had anything that could be useful. Unfortunately, all she had was a scabbard and the belt. Not much to defeat a criminal that literally got your life in the palm of his hand.

But the words of the mysterious entity, Lautireht as it was not called, were still in her mind. More importantly, she could still hear its voice imitating her mother advice. *A competent mage can use almost anything made of metal or wood to cast a spell.* Had she something in wood or in metal on her? Yes, the scabbard was made of wood and metal. Just what she needed.

She pressed her palm on the largest extremity of the scabbard, raising its tip toward Grumb pelvis. She was not overly quick doing it, but the criminal felt her moving.

"Reallay? What iou gonna do kayddo? Poke me wayth the scabb..." He could not finish his sentence. Louise did not bother to recite her spell out loud, she just needed to make him hurt. The explosion was far too

weak to permanently injure the man, But the choc did enough damage to his intimate part to have him release his grip on Louise and bend himself around his stomach. The instant she was free, Louise got back up and began to walk with difficulty toward her wand, trying not to listen to the flow of insult coming from behind her. She grabbed her weapon and turned toward grumb. The man was advancing slowly, holding his belly in pain, a furious look in his eyes. She pointed the wand, her real tool of magic, toward him.

"This one is going to hurt a lot more." She said, savoring her new position in the fight. After all, she had the advantage now, she could afford a little taunt. She sent a second explosion, more powerful this time. Grumb was sent flying. He passed through the central pile of crates and ended his trajectory on the wall right next to the secret entrance.

"Ah! Who was not going to be useful again, Vimaire?" Gloated Louise. She had her first victory, she could not not savor it. But the painful lament of Sunny and the other woman remind her that there were injured peoples in the warehouse, in addition to a kid. Just as she thought that Sam emerged from his hideout and ran toward her.

"Yeah, you did it, Louise. You beat the bad guy. Now, dad will just have to get him to prison" As endearing as the kid was, Louise felt that once again, her success was undervalued by Vimaire. But she could not be mad at this kid.

"Of course Sam. But I don't think your dad will find us soon. She should go get him."

"That won't be necessary, Miss Valliere." Louise and Sam both turned toward the person who spoked. Said person was the commander Samuel Vimaire, surrounded by multiple watch officer, as well a two dog(4), a small man with a black box, and multiple creatures in watch uniform, some Louise identified as trolls, zombies, and dwarfs, and other that she could only guess what they were. The small man tried to activate a mechanism on his box, but a huge manlike figure that looked like it was made of clay, wearing only a badge, took it.

"Sorry Mister Harring, But You Cannot Take Pictures." Said the huge creature, accentuating every first letter of the words. The man looked disappointed, but when he saw the woman in pain under the window, he quickly ran toward her. Meanwhile, Vimaire advanced to Louise. Or rather, toward his son. He knelt in front of him and hugged him as if they had not seen each other in weeks, reassuring him and telling him everything was going to be okay. In his stead, a tall redheaded officer, the one young Sam had drawn when Louise arrived at the mansion, took charge, giving instruction to everyone.

"Constable Dorfl, take the two severely injured and bring them carefully to Igor. Tell him to take care of them. Be very gentle with them, we don't want their condition to worsen. Constable Washpot, Constable Shoe, Constable Armstrong, make sure no outsider come inside the warehouse. Ang... Captain Angua, capture the criminal." They all obeyed without a word(5). The beautiful dog went straight toward where Grumb had hit the wall.

Next, to Louise, Vimaire had finished reassuring his son. "Now Sam, I have a few thing to manage here. You stay with Louise, I'll see you two later." He turned toward Louise. "And you, I have a few thing to tell you, but later. Now, I want the two of you to follow Dorfl, and that's the golem taking sunny and that reporter on his shoulder, by the way, to the watch office. Someone will come get Sam. But you, you stay until I'm back. And don't think about escaping, I gave everyone their special instructions. Now go follow the golem." With that said, he turned his heel and walked toward the other officers. Louise knew she was not in a situation where she could ignore this order, so she did what she was told, took Sam by the hand, and went with the huge clay person that was waiting for them outside.

(4) a small dirty dog, and a beautiful ashy blond hunting dog, as close to the wolf as a dog, can be. Or was it a wolf closer to a dog than usual?

(5) rather normal for the dog to not answer.

* * *

"It's a miracle thing did not end with someone's death, sir"

"Yes, indeed Carrot." acquiesced Vimaire. He looked around the warehouse. It was very lucky for the watch to have an agent that could perceive without sight because this place was a chaotic placement of crate that made the visibility awful. "You sent Angua to get our criminal, right?"

"Yes, sir. She should soon come back dragging him by the heel."

"Excellent. Once we have him, I will finally be able to..."

"To bring him to justice, sir?" Carrot launched a reprobative stare at his superior officer.

"Yes, that's what I was gonna say." Right as he said that, Angua came back, but alone. This was not good. luckily, they had right there a talking dog to translate in real time Angua's report. Carrot called Gaspod and asked Angua to explain what was happening.

"Bark bark!"

"She says that he escaped."

"Bark bark bark!"

"So there was back there a secret door that led directly into the Ankh. He escaped by walking on the frozen river."

"Bark!"

"She says..." Gaspode was cut by Vimaire.

"I can guess. A canine sense of smell is a huge problem when you can smell the Ankh. She could not track him this way. Is that it Angua?"

An approbative bark answered his question.

"Well, the whole city is on high alert. He won't get far. Let's finish our job here and go back to the office."

* * *

Grumb resurfaced on the other side of the river. His escape was so clever. Of course, nobody was gonna pursue him thought the Ankh. Sure, he had been a bit frightened when the ice broke under him, but he had swum to the other side without anybody seeing him. Now, he just had to hide and prepare his revenge on the pink haired brat. She will get what she deserves for making him look like an idiot.

"Those cops wayll never catch me alayve."

"I CAN ATTEST THAT" A deep voice answered him instead of the silence

Grumb looked at the tall hooded figure next to him. They were looking at the river, or more accurately the hole he made when it fractured. There was something floating in the middle of the hole.

"Iou would not know bay anay chance a place where peoples won't faynd me and Ay could prepare may vengeance, kaynd sayr?"

"I DONT KNOW FOR THE SECOND THING, BUT I KNOW WHERE YOU CAN FIND THE FIRST." Said Death. He put his hand on Grumb shoulder and pointed in a direction. It did not matter where.

"Thank iou, Sayr. And farewell" Answered the criminal, before walking in the direction, his ghost slowly dissolving as he entered the after-life

"WHAT A STRANGE PRONUNCIATION THIS MAN HAVE." Noted Death. He called Binky, his trustworthy horse, climbed on it's back, and rode home.

* * *

chapter end.


	11. the hourglass is running

Hello.

Here is the chapter 11. I said I was going to publish it in may, but I may(haha) have been overwhelmed by revision for an exam. So I was a bit late on my schedule.

This chapter wraps the Grumb arc, with the debriefing of the event of the last chapter. Next chapter will be the start of the Lancre arc.

I do not own either the Discworld or Familiar of zero.

hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Death's home was a strange place. To begin with, whoever made it seemed to have a very personal interpretation of distances and proportions. It took a few minutes traverses the "living" room, but you could cross the hallway in two steps. If this house was anywhere near Ankh-Morpork, peoples would assume it was made by "Bloody Stupid" Johnson. But it was one of Death's attempt at creating something. Like most others, it was black and white, for Death was not able to understand the purpose of color in interior decoration. Still, there was something about this house that seemed incredible. After all, Death's creations were the greatest proofs that one could rise above their condition.

Death was looking at his collection of hourglasses, taking the ones he needed for his next trip. He walked among the shelf, looking around despite already knowing where everything was. There was nothing that could surprise him. Therefore his surprise was even greater when he saw the abnormality. One of the hourglasses was oddly colored. It looked like it was covered in black ink as if someone painted it all over. But the most worrying thing was the absence of sound. He could not hear any sand grain falling inside. It was as if the hourglass had stopped. Or perhaps something obstructed his perceptions of it.

He took the hourglass with him and kept going. He barely took three steps before finding another one in the same condition. He reached for it without making a sound.

"SQUEAK."

Death turned himself to look at the grim squeaker, his counterpart for rodents. The creature held a tiny hourglass covered in ink as if it wanted to show it to him.

"YES, I TOO HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM."

"SQUEAK."

"PERHAPS. BUT SHE MIGHT REFUSE."

"SQUEAK!"

"THAT WOULD BE ABDUCTION. AND IT WOULD NOT END WELL FOR YOU."

The two metaphorical incarnations looked at each other, the Death of rat seeming to think with intensity behind the two glowing blue orbs that were its eyes. They maintained the situation for a few minutes, before being interrupted by Albert, the house butler.

"Is this a bad moment sir?"

"NO ALBERT, IN FACT, IT IS A MINOR CONCERN."

"Oh? Well, that's good to hear. Anyway, you have a visitor. A very special visitor."

* * *

The distinction between Death's manor and Igor's infirmary was the smell. There was almost no odor at the grim reaper's place. Meanwhile, Igor's laboratory was perfumed by the smell of drugs, heated metals, and of course disinfecting alcohol. If you entered blindfolded, you might believe you were in a torture chamber from the smell alone. But it was just the watch medical center.

Louise kept looking at Igor with a mixture of fear, disgust, and curiosity (1). This "man" was like a human puzzle, but one where the player had no concern for the appearance of the final result. Igor did not have a reassuring appearance. Still, Louise felt like she could trust him, for some reason. Besides, he had only been polite with her from the instant they met.

She had been told by an officer to stay in Igor's infirmary and to wait for Vimaire to come back. But the commander still had not shown himself. It was not probable that he forgot about her, he seemed pretty angry in the warehouse. So right now, she was waiting for her scolding, sitting on a bed in the infirmary.

Next to her were Sunny and the other woman, both unconscious. Igor had begun to treat them as soon as they arrived, doing his damn best to heal their wound. And his damn best was downright supernatural. Louise could not believe that someone could cure wound faster than a water mage with only a bottle of alcohol and a few metal tools. If she told this to her sisters, they would call her crazy. Then again, this was true for many things she saw in Ankh-Morpork.

"Tell me, sir Igor, are they going to be fine?" She asked, trying to cut short the silence. She already knew the answer to her question. They would both survive. They were in good hands.

"No thir with me, mith Valierre. I am but a thimple Igor. Anyway, it theem that they will thurvive their wounds. Thothe were imprethiveth injurieth, but nothing life-threatening."(2)

"Really? I'm not that familiar with injuries, so I hardly had a frame of reference."

"Well, the reporter juthte moved a vertebra. Nothing too worrying, I can ficth that eathily." He looked at Andrea, sleeping on one of the bed. "She will be walking tomorrow." He turned toward Sunny. She was also asleep, but her leg was in bad condition. "Thunny, however, ith far more contherning. Grumb probably tried to dithlocate her leg, but this idiot only broke her femur near the hipbone. This ith what happens when peopleth don't bother to thudy medethine before trying this kinda of moveth." He groaned in annoyance. "Other than that, she hath multipleth hematoma on her body, Ethpethialy around her neck. I do not need to athk what it wath. I can recognithe the markth of a thtrangulation."

Louise acquiesced to Igor report. She was not one familiar with the medical language, but she knew enough to understand that both of the women would be fine. This information was reassuring her.

"You know, mith Valiere, I can thee that you have good handth. Long thlender fingerth, they would be perfect for a thurgeon." Igor pointed the tip of his scalpel toward her hand resting on the bed.

"I'm flattered by the compliment, Igor, but I never intended to work this profession."

"Well, it'th no worry, miss Valiere. Loothe thome, get thome as they thay. But if thith ith okay with you, I know more than a few niethes, couthin, and nephew that could uthe thuch handth."

"Igor, I am not interested in an apprenticeship, even if I do not doubt your family skills in the domain." So the members of his family were all surgeons. It made sense. Igor's impressive skills in non-magical medicine could only be due to generations of studies and improvements.

"You mithunderstood me. I was athking if I could give your hands to them. After you are finished uthing them, of courthe."

Louise remained silent a minute. He just asked her if he could keep her hands after her death. That was the strangest demand anybody ever had for her. And the creepiest too.

"You mean after I die?"

"Why, yeth of courthe. I am not going to take thomeone'th organs if they thtill need them. That would be unprofethional."

She kept staring at him, with a mixture of shock and indignation. How could he even make such demand? Did this man had no shame? She prepared herself to give Igor a piece of her mind when a dwarf entered the room.

"Igor, please stop pestering this young girl." Said the dwarf. She wore... Was it she? The clothing on the dwarf was very feminine, with a leather skirt and heels. It was a sort of armored dress. Maybe that was what dwarf women wore here. She was not familiar with the dwarven culture, so she could not know. Still, Louise was going to bet on this dwarf being a woman.

"Ah, Sergeant Littlebottom. I thuppothe the Commander returned?"

"Yes. I am to bring Louise to his office. As well as taking your report on her conditions and that of the other." Igor began to search in his paperwork for his medical report. While he was at it, the sergeant kept talking, in a somewhat friendlier manner. "Did you have a problem with the accent? Sometimes peoples who are not familiar with it don't understand it."

"No problems, Cheery. Thith ith a thmart young girl, she inthtantly underthtood it." Answered Igor, before giving her three sheets of papers with the medical report of Louise, Sunny and Andrea.

"Good." Cheery turned herself to face Louise. "Miss Valliere, I am Sergeant Littlebottom. If you would please follow me, Commander Vimaire is waiting for you." She said formally. But Louise could not help but be surprised by her name. Littlebottom? She felt like the sergeant was making fun of her, And she did not like it. She followed her outside the room, in silent indignation. The prospect of the incoming conversation with Vimaire did nothing to help her fool mood.

(1) She was surprised that curiosity was the most prominent component.  
(2) All Igorth speakth with a lithp.

* * *

Death was also in a fool mood. Well, not really, he was merely mildly annoyed, but this is rare for him. Death just showed up unannounced at Death's home, and Death was disappointed at Death for not following the proper protocol for this kind of visit. Death excused himself by saying that it was an emergency, but Death found this excuse flimsy at best. (3)

Albert looked from his master to the visitor, and from the visitor to his master, and from his master to the visitor again. But already it was impossible to say which was which, provided you were the kind of people that do not make a distinction between a man and a pig (4). And Albert had not founded the Unseen University in his youth by being unobservant. He could clearly see the difference between the two death. His master had a sharper jawline, as in his jaw bone could be used to draw 90° angles. Meanwhile, the visitor had longer canine, slightly so. The ocular holes of his master were smaller, while the visitor had a more narrow nose hole. Their clothing was also different. Both wore the same kind of cloak, but his master's cloak was pure black, instead of midnight blue(5). Finally, the omegas on each of there cloak were of a different shade of silver. To an untrained eye, there was very little to differentiate the two. But it was not a problem for Albert.

His master spoke. "YOU SAY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. IS THIS ONE OF THOSE EMERGENCIES?" The blue light in his eyes lost a bit of its shine, the same as how a gaze loose intensity when one squint.

" _YES. IT IS ONE OF THOSE EMERGENCIES._ "

"OH. SO I GUESS YOU CAME HERE TO GIVE ME THE HOURGLASS THEN?"

" _CORRECT_." Said Death2, as he handed a small hourglass filled with black sand, and resting

on a silver pedestal. Albert had worked as Death servant that he could learn a lot about a person by looking at their hourglass. If he recalled well, unusual coloration of the sand determined a peculiar magical ability. The silver pedestal was harder to determine. Either the person was a noble of medium to high status, but still inferior to a king, or there was something about them that was secret. Possibly both.

"BY THE WAY, WE HAD A DISFUNCTIONEMENT IN SOME OF OUR HOURGLASSES." Death pulled out of his cloak one of the strange hourglasses, still covered in black ink. "DID YOU EVER SAW SOMETHING SIMILAR IN YOUR WORLD?"

Death2 took a long look at the hourglass. Concerns appeared within his eyes, darkening the turquoise light inside. " _NO, I HAVE NOT. BUT THAT DOES SEEM CONCERNING._ "

Albert also took a look at the hourglass. Magical powers that could impair Death's hourglasses were not common. And also dangerous. Incredibly so.  
He could see that this was not the kind of magic wizards use. It seemed more, if he dared, witch-like. It smelt (6) an awful lot like those spells the witches use to control the narrative. But this version carried wickedness that even a witch rotten to the core would find despicable. It was not the kind of magic Albert wanted to face.

"INDEED IT IS. WE HAVE TWO HUMAN HOURGLASSES, 732 RAT HOURGLASSES AND 111 342 PARASITE HOURGLASSES IN THIS CONDITION."

" _I SEE._ " Death2 wondered if he should give hand in this matter. While it was not advised for two deaths to work together, there were no rules against it. And this matter seemed like something that needed to be dealt with as soon as possible. But he was busy in his world. The disappearance of the young Valliere had kicked in a chain of event that made a mess of Halkeginia. Her mother and the princess had been convinced by the pope that the elves were behind the disappearance. The humans were preparing for a new holy war, and it promised to be bloody. He needed to be there for it, because what would he be without his professionalism. " _I CANNOT HELP YOU IN THIS MATTER. BUT IF I FIND SOMETHING ABOUT IT IN MY WORLD, I WOULD LET YOU KNOW_."

"THANK YOU."

" _I'LL BE ON MY WAY NOW. NONE OF US CAN BE ALLOWED TO BE LATE ON HIS SCHEDULE._ "

"YES"

" _YES_ "

Death2 turned away from Death and walked out of the house, not bothering to open the door before stepping outside. Only Death, the Death of rats, and Albert remained in the office.

"So this is one of your colleagues?"

"YES, ALBERT. HE IS THE DEATH IN ANOTHER WORLD."

"It's reassuring to know that every world works the same way."

"THEY DO NOT."

"Well, sir..." Albert started, pointing at the ink covered hourglass. "... it seems like we have a problem to deal with."

Death lifted the hourglass to take a good look at it. "WE? ARE YOU TREATING MY RESPONSIBILITIES AS YOURS AS WELL?"

"Nothing that dramatic sir." Albert puffed on his cigarette before continuing. "But any problem you might have in your work is a problem to all living thing."

Still holding the hourglass, Death looked at his servant. What Albert said was true. If something was disrupting his work, it was probably a threat to all form of life. But not many humans wanted to understand it.

He put back the hourglass in his cloak. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT IT IS?"

Albert took a long inspiration. "It's not what we mages are familiar with, but it felt to me like it was similar to some witches magic. Maybe that is where we should search first."

"WITCHES." Witches were always hard to deal with. Unlike mages, they were cunning, and more often than not, you could not get anything out of them without giving something first. Even him was not above it. "I WILL GO ASK ONE ABOUT IT THEN. ON MY WAY BACK. AND YOU ALBERT, GO SEARCH IN BIOGRAPHIE ABOUT THIS KIND OF MAGIC." He put one of the hourglasses on the table. "I LEAVE YOU ONE HOURGLASS AS A REFERENCE." He turned away, advanced toward the exit, opened the door, exited the mansion, and closed the door behind him.

Albert stayed silent a minute, smoking and looking at the ceiling. A dark parody of the witches magic? This was not just concerning, but downright horrifying. Witches magic is already scary, messing with your head, and even your place in the world. Do go even darker from here is a grim exploit.

He began to walk toward the library. The best place to start the search was the life of the darkest witch to ever lived. Alice Demurrage, also known as black Alice, was the most likely to have a lead. He really wanted to start with another dark witch, like Marry the skinner or Child-tooth Lucia. They were far less scary, and their life was far less horrifying. But if someone knew about this magic, it was most likely Alice.

With a hesitation, Albert took a book with a black binding of rotten skin. This was not going to be pleasant.

(3) If you have not realized, Death received the visit of another death. To make thing easier, Death who own the house will be referred as Death and the other as Death2. Also, Death2 sentences will be in Italic, to differentiate their speeches.

(4) They both go from black to pink, they both tend to be noisy, and they both eat anything. But one has little body odor(4.1), and the other is an ape. To the embarrassment of all the other apes.

(4.1) You may not believe me, but the bad odor associated with pig come from the environment in which they live. The pigs themselves have very little body odor and are very clean. But human keep them in small places where waste the pigs get dirty. So not only human stink, but they make others stink.

(5) Black, but bluer.

(6) Not actual smell, mind you. More of an impression.

* * *

"So is it death by drowning? Or buried alive?" Said Vimaire, his words filled with mockery. So Grumb had died in his attempt to run away. It was fine for him. Sure, he felt an inch of guilt for not bringing the man to justice. But the watch is not to blame for the mistake of a criminal. Not this sort of mistakes, anyway.

"We are waiting for the autopsy. Depending on whether Grumb died by suffocation or by ingestion of fluid, it'll be one or the other." Angua was standing next to Vimaire desk. She watched her superior read the report she just brought him.

Vimaire frowned. This report held the name of the seventeen victims of Grumb. Most of them were peoples who could barely protect themselves. Some were ill while others were elderly. Had the watch not intervened, he might have killed a child.

Still, there was something abnormal in this report. Most of the victims of the killer were unrelated between them, safe from their weakness. But among the alleged victims were two cousins, Charlie and Etienne Gloomsay. They were both healthy peoples with an active social life. Not the kind of victims Grumb enjoy. And besides, they both lived far away from the districts where Grumb found the majority of his victims.

There are two kinds of disappearances in Ankh-Morpork. The first is the "official" disappearance. Someone "disappears", with or without consent, but the guild of assassins, the guild of thieves or the diverse underground organizations of the city are well aware of where the person is. And whether they will be staying permanently. For this reasons, if the watch is investigating a disappearance, they will first ask the guilds about it. If the answer is "You should not put your nose where it does not belong.", then they know who is behind the affair.

But if even the guilds do not know, this is a true disappearance, and the watch needs to investigate with more vigor. All of Grumb alleged victims were of this category, so the watch assumed that he was behind all the disappearance that happened recently. What if there was another killer that the watch overlooked?

"Angua, do we know what mean of locomotion Grumb had?"

"None sir. He had no vehicle or mount. Why?"

"How long does it take, on foot, to reach Elm street from Hopper street? On foot I mean." He looked Angua in the eyes.

"For a human, the fastest you can do is at best one hour, if you got some good stamina." She suddenly realized the implication. "Grumb would not have traveled such a long distance to kill one person, is that what you mean?"

"Yes. Grumb stayed around Hopper street and only left after realizing he was found out. All of his victims, safe two, lived in about 20 minutes of Hopper street. Elm Street and Mollymog street are too far away. And those two were cousins. It is way too much coincidence to make me comfortable." All during his explanation, he kept looking at the report. "Of course, it is possible that both of the cousins went to Hopper street and got killed there. But they were not the typical victims of Grumb. But we need to find what really happened."

Angua looked at him, surprised. "We? Sir, you and Carotte are going to Lancre in a few days. You have to prepare the travel, plus deal with this little girl, what's her name? Lucie?"

"Louise?"

"Yeah, Louise. Anyway, you cannot spend time on such a small case."

Vimaire looked grimly at the invitation to the birthday of the princess of Lancre. He really wanted to take care of this case, but he could not run away from this responsibility, especially for a theory that could very well be wrong. But it was a priority to know if there was another killer on the loose. A non-licenced killer.

"Angua, you live at Ms. Cake? And so does Reg?"

"Well yeah, but what does it have to do with... OH!" She recalled that Ms. Cake's home was on Elm street. That made her understood what Vimaire was expecting from her and Reg. "I will tell Reg to help me in this case. I suppose you want to avoid the information to go out?"

"Of course. If there is really another killer than it is better if he thinks we ignore his existence. I will give the both of you leaves, and you will ask around. Keep it discreet."

"Will do, sir."

She said while saluting. The sound of her helmet was followed by knockings at the door. "It seems that Lucie as arrived. I will let you handle it, sir." She moved to the door and Opened to a nervous Louise accompanied by Cheery.

* * *

The blond woman stepped out of the room, gave Louise an encouraging smile, saluted Littlebottom, and disappeared in the corridor. Louise could not shake the feeling of deja-vu. She had already seen this woman, but she could not remember where. And for some reason, when she tried to recall, she could only think of a dog.

Well, it hardly mattered. She was going to be chewed off by Vimaire, and it was not going to be a pleasant experience. She had blatantly disobeyed him, broke out of his house, and almost got herself killed. That, and she was not sure that he would consider her actions helpful to the rescue of Sam. He was probably going to say that the watch had it under control, that she only made thing harder for them. With all of that, there was a high chance that Vimaire refuse to keep her anymore. And she doubted that there were many peoples that the patrician would entrust her to. Maybe she would be sent to stay with the mages, but she would prefer to stay with more "rational" peoples.

Littlebottom patted Louise shoulder in a comforting manner. She had been kind enough to try to reassure the young girl after they left Igor's Infirmary. But Louise had trouble seeing a kind man in Vimaire. This man had been rude to her, and so far had not shown much sympathy in the week she spent with him. Maybe he was only kind to his friends and family. But not to her.

She took a deep breath and stepped into the room. Vimaire was rearranging his paperwork, which flooded his table abundantly, and the majority of the room as well. He did not look at her, so Louise assumed he was making her wait. She took a look at his office. It was small, badly lit by a few candles in glass jars, and full of old forgotten papers. Nothing like what she expected from a commander.

"You know, you can advance to my desk without me asking. Or are you hoping that I will forget about you?" Vimaire brought her attention back to him. She advanced, her head lowered. "What were you thinking? I mean really, what were you thinking?" She waited for him to carry on, but the silence made her understand that it was not a rhetorical question.

"I, uh, I was hoping that I could help with rescuing your son."

"But of course. You, a teenager without formation, could do better than the whole watch. This was obvious from the get-go. Why did I refuse your services from the beginning?" This much sarcasm could have melted stone, and it stung Louise in the wound of her pride. She was the subject of many mockeries, and even in another world, she was still looked down upon.

"I did arrive before your men. I found Sam first. So yes, you were wrong about not letting me help."

"Congratulation. You arrived first, and you had to be saved by a watchwoman. She sustained quite a lot of injuries if I recall. So before you explode with pride, remember that Sunny would be in far better shape if you had left it to us."

"But..."

"What? you're going to tell me that you could have escaped Grumb alone?" His glare could have pierced her head.

"No." She admitted.

Vimaire sighted. "We do not accept the help of untrained peoples in those cases exactly because this might happen. They can get caught, and we have to deal with another victim."

Louise kept her head lowered in shame. She wanted to say something. She was not ready to admit that she made everything harder. But she could not come up with a good argument. She is responsible for Sunny's condition, as well as that of the other woman.

Vimaire kept staring at her, waiting for a reaction. " What I don't understand is why? Why did you try so hard to participate. I doubt that you believed that you were better suited for this job than the watch. So why?"

Louise remained silent. She knew why. She hated to admit that she could not do anything. It was this way at the academy, where other students would taunt her, and she took the bait. She kept failing, and the other kept mocking her about it. But even that, she did not want to admit. She could not admit that the reason she tried to save the day was that Vimaire said she couldn't.

"I wanted to be useful." She said. It was not that big of a lie. She really did want to save Sam, but her answer omitted all of her doubts and frustrations. She was not about to show her vulnerability to Vimaire.

The commander stared at her with a doubtful expression. There was something that Louise did not tell. But he quickly let it go. He was a watchman, not an inquisitor. It was not his job to search into peoples heads for bad thought. And Louise's actions were not criminal.

"I'm not convinced, but I'm not gonna dig further. Anyway, I expect you won't do that kind of things again. No more escape, no more disobedience, and no more confrontations with dangerous criminals. And you will present your excuses to Willikins and Purity, for making their job harder."

Louise raised her head in surprise. "You won't throw me out?"

"As long as you agree to do what I just said, I see no reason to do so. If kids were not allowed to make a mess from time to time, they'll never learn. Besides, there are very few peoples who you can trust and who would keep you. I would have to be the lowest of the scum to throw you out." He said, before taking another pile of paperwork from his desk. "I think we have finished here. Go see Drolf, I told him to bring you back to the manor once we are done. You can't miss him, he's a golem. Not many clay person inside the watch."

Louise acquiesced, stood up, and moved toward the door, before stopping. "Mister Vimaire, what happened to Grumb?"

"Oh, that? Yeah, I should tell you. He died. We are hesitating on the cause. Either he drowned, or he buried himself alive. So you won't have to worry about him. Now go, I have a lot of work to do."

Louise obeyed and left the room.

* * *

It grew bored of Ankh-Morpork. The rats were easy now, and it was now experimenting the trick on cats. Still, it needed to see something else. The citizens of this city were not the only peoples on the disc, and it wanted to learn more about them. Know your enemy, as the tenant once said.

Speaking of her, she was still resisting. It was surprised by how she kept struggling against the trick. All the rats had given in after a few days. Well, she was not struggling alone, that other one had not shown any sign of weakness since he was tricked. It expected it. After all, it had a little help for this one, so the trick was not perfect back then.

Thinking back to the day of its creation, it brought a ticket for a stagecoach to Uberwald.


	12. Rincewind on a boat

Hello everyone.

so here is finally the 12 chapter. I intended it to be a short chapter to link the first and second arc, but it became longer as I wrote it.

I'm awaiting any comment you might have.

Also, I've looked into it, and changing the rating during chapter 10 might have been too much. I don't think this fic deserves an M rating, so I changed it back to T.

Anyway, in this chapter, to emblematic characters from the series appear, and will probably stay.

enjoy the reading.

* * *

The boat was sailing peacefully under the bright sun. Small waves were hitting the hull, breaking themselves in water splatter. The wind was kind enough to send them in the right direction. If all was fine, tomorrow evening, they should arrive in Djelibeybi.

The captain was awaiting the arrival eagerly. He had accepted this cargo of strangely shaped stick from a shady man, and some of his crew had shown concerns, what with the wand smuggling business. But the money was too good, and besides, Ankh-Morpok did not want the wands to come in. He doubted that anybody would call it smuggling if he took them out. It was how it worked. Right?

Also, he would not be disappointed by getting rid of the two passengers. He never really liked mages, and frankly that mon... that ape was not reassuring. One of his crew took a violent slap for using the wrong word. And the absence of both banana or peanut made the ape even angrier. And frankly, what kind of mage travel with such animal. And lack a beard. No, there was no other way to put it, those two were creeping the hell out of him. They smelled trouble. Right now they were sleeping, and the captain wanted it to stay that way as long as possible.

"Captain!" shouted his employee on watch.

"Will you shut up, Timothy? You're going to wake them up."

"But captain..." Timothy said as he descended the sail. His employer did not let him finish.

"Listen, whatever it is, it's not worse waking those creep."

"But..."

"I know, usually we communicate by shooting, but right now, for the love of the sea, just shut up."

Timothy gave the captain a bitter look, before pointing behind the man. "Captain. Look."

The captain turned to see what the sailor was pointing. "So what? it's another boat."

"The flag, captain. The flag."

He looked at the boat with more intensity. The flag was black and white. So what? Wait a minute. Was that a skull.

"Oh, damn."

* * *

The same bright sun that stood above the circular sea was, at the same time, filling with light a room of the Ramkin estate. Not that it wasn't filling other rooms as well, but those were barely relevant to anything, most of them unoccupied. But this one was the room of Louise.

The sunlight found its way from the window to the sheets on the bed, underneath which was the young mage. The girl was not a morning person, and upon being exposed thought light via the translucent cover, she instead tucked herself even more into her bed. But the sun is a tough opponent, and eventually, she gave up. She was not going to fall back asleep. She lifted her sheet and dramatically swung her legs out of the bed, before lowering her feet and standing back up.

She yawned and dressed. The dress fit her perfectly, even though it had belonged to Sybil when she was a child. She felt a bit ashamed that she wore a dress for ten-year-olds. Not that much, but it was still slightly annoying her.

She left her room and went down the stairs to take a breakfast. The sun was already high, so Sybil was probably already taking care of her dragons. But she was sure Willikins would make something for her. She arrived in the living room, under the bitter and annoyed glare of Purity and the butler, that she failed to perceive.

"Good morning Willikins, Good morning Purity. Could you prepare me a breakfast? Something simple, like toast and tea."

The two servants looked at each other. They were still angry at the stunt she made yesterday, and really just wanted to tell her to make the breakfast herself. But rules of hospitality oblige, they decided to give her what she asked.

Louise sat at the table and watched out of the window. Frost could be seen on the window, sign that despite the bright sun, the air was cold. Well, it was a good thing that she had nothing to do today. She could rest in the warmth of the house after a cold night outside.

The butler arrived, with a tray full of toast, jam, and a cup of tea. He put it all in front of Louise and left for the kitchen again.

She took a sip of the tea and spewed it immediately. It was a cold tea. Like if it had been out in the kitchen the whole night. She looked at the toast and realized that they were all stale. What was Willikins doing?

"Willikins, what were you thinking? This tea is cold and those toasts are stale."

The butler entered once again the living room. "Why, Louise, you did ask for tea and toast. You should have been more clear about what you wanted, how could I know that you expected hot beverage and fresh bread."

Louise grumbled. She was sometimes dense, but this looked a lot like the passive aggressive attitude the peoples of Wales were so famous for. "Willikins, are you angry at me for yesterday?"

"Of course not. What might make you think that?" Willikins looked at her, a small smirk on his lips.

"It's because I tricked you? I really needed to get out. It was an emergency."

"Now, Louise, I tell you that I am not angry in the least. You must be confused."

She was not. Not in the least. But Willikins was not going to admit it, so there was no point in insisting. "Pff. I'm going to prepare something myself if it's going to be like that." She said as she left the dining room.

The butler looked at her leaving. A part of him felt very petty for this. But Willikins was once a delinquent, and he still kept a vicious streak from that time. If things went out of hand, he would act accordingly, but for now, he was enjoying his petty revenge.

Louise searched for bread in the kitchen. As long as it wasn't stale and there was some jam, she could handle it. She never prepared her breakfast before, but yesterday she fought a madman in an abandoned warehouse. She could handle a bit of cooking.

If Willikins was to act in such an unpleasant manner, she will avoid him. She decided that she was going to help Sybil with the dragon for the rest of the morning. And possibly the afternoon.

* * *

Rincewind hated boats. Unlike solid ground, you could not run away while you were on them, and it was hard to outswim them on water. And while he was a quick man on the ground, he was by no mean a great swimmer. So right now, his only option was hiding. And he did not like that either. But anything was preferable to be found out by pirates. What was he thinking when he jumped on that boat?

It all started a few days ago. After escaping a certain death in the great nef, he was lucky to find a caravan of merchant traveling to Tsort. They were, unfortunately, a group of wanted criminals of the Klatch empire. They got caught before even reaching their destination, and poor Rincewind was arrested with them. He managed to escape before being sent to prison by a hair but ended up being alone in a city he was not familiar with, with too many pursuers for his taste. And unlike in the Agathean empire, they were not the kind to be surprised when you ran off on them. When the wizzard reached the port, he found a ship with an open window. It was his chance, and he took it, making one of the most precise jumps he ever had done.

But it was too good to be without a catch. A few hours after the boat left klatch, he heard two sailors talking about how the pirate's life is hard. They also mentioned what happened to the last stowaway. Rincewind noted that it happened only because the stowaway was found out. But he himself won't be. Or at least try very hard not to.

But it has been three days since he came here. He could not take the pirates food, no matter how much the potatoes tempted him. It would be a sure way to inform them of his presence. He took a bit the first day, but the pirates kept a precise inventory. It had been treated as a small miscalculation, but next time won't be so easy.

His reflexion on the risk-reward of a potato was interrupted by the sounds of pirates walking around the boat. From his hidden spot, Rincewind put his ear on the wall.

"Captain, we should reach this Morporkian ship in just a handful of minutes."

"That's good." Rincewind heard him take an inspiration before shooting "All of you worms prepare for the fight. We get into the ship, neutralize any who can fight, and take all their loot."

"Captain, do we think the boat."

"Do you want to do something with it?"

"No. You guys?"

"No."

"Nah."

"Yes... Wait no."

"Then we sink it, you dimwit. Now to your battle stations. NOT YOU CHRIS, YOU STAY UP THERE!"

A boat from Ankh? This may be his chance. If the Pirates failed to take over this boat, he might get a chance to go back home. Ah, how he missed his comfortable job as the assistant librarian, being safe and bored. This was truly the high life. And the sausage of Dibbler, how he missed them. A flood of memory began to invade his mind while the pirates put all their efforts into boarding.

A shock brought him back to reality. That was it, the two boat were now in contact, and the attack had begun. Rincewind counted the seconds. One, two, three, four, five. Now the pirates had probably jumped the ship and were fighting the crew. That meant the boat was left unprotected. Now, he just needed to find a weapon, and he could take over the ship. Should be safe, all the pirates where fighting.

"Hey, you! What are you doing here?" Someone behind Rincewind said as the mage left his hideout. It was a lanky pirate with a small nose, and enough gold in his ears to buy a house.

"Oh bugger."

"You don't look like one of us. Arrr you perhaps a stowaway? "

Rincewind first instinct was to run, but with a colossal effort, he managed not to lift his feet. This time, he needed to be subtle. "Me? A stowaway? Ridiculous! I mean, can't you see the hat?" he said, pointing at his "wizzard" hat. "I am a hired mage. Your captain secret weapon, if something ever goes wrong. Yup, that's what I am. And absolutely not a stowaway."

The pirate looked at him with suspicion. "Why would the captain not tell you about you?"

"Because, as I mentioned, I am a secret weapon. He wanted to keep me a secret as long as possible."

The pirate took a pensive look. Was it really the case? It seemed unlikely that the captain would do something like that, but then again he did already hide peoples he did not want the crew to know about. There was only one way to know the truth. "If you're a mage, show me some magic."

"What?"

"Show me some magic. It's obvious, if you really are a mage, you can cast a spell."

"Hum, my magic is very peculiar. Yes, yes. It's not something I can show around willy nilly. I'm sure you understand that when I mess with the laws of nature, I have to be very careful. Yes indeed. I mean, Imagine if I accidentally pushed the Bosson of theodorstradamus. The consequence would be terrible. Truly I cannot show you my magic just now. Immagine the danger for you. Your crew. YOUR FAMILY!"

A long silence took over the room. Both the mage and the pirate looked at each other, the former with embarrassment, the later with confusion. A fly landed on Rincewind eyelid, making him wink. Finally, he decided to talk.

"You don't buy it do you?"

"Well, I have to give credit for the effort, but no, I don't buy it at all."

"Oh, bugger." Said Rincewind as the criminal pulled a knife. The man was blocking the only exit. There was no point in trying to run past him, his strike would hit him if he tried to reach the door. With hesitation, Rincewind looked behind him. There was a small window, leading right to the water of the sea. It was his only escape route, but a provisory one. If the pirates don't get him, then the water will eventually be his death. But Rincewind had always postponed the inevitable. And he would do the same today. He turned on his heel, and launched himself toward the window, at the surprise of the pirate. In one splendid jump, he straightened his whole body, a hand holding his hat, to flight like an arrow out of the boat and into the sea. He entered the water in a single splash.

"Well, damn, if you're that damn stupid, no wonder you ain't no mage." Said the pirate. He turned his head as the sound of boots running into the ship was heard. "Well, here comes the captain. You ain't lucky, had you stayed on board, at least it would have been short. Now enjoy your swim, idiots." He said, saluting Rincewind with a small wave of the hand.

Rincewind cursed his bad luck. He really thought he would get out of this mess, but they had to leave a crew member behind. Really, he did not know how he would get out of this one. Stuck in the middle of the ocean. Not a good death. At all. He could hear the footstep of the pirate crew returning to their ship, with their stolen good and...

"Runaway, you worms." He heard the captain shouting. It was followed by the terrified scream of the whole crew. "Why did you have to insult it."

"But captain, I just asked why they had a monkey on board." This sounded surprisingly familiar to Rincewind.

"Well, apparently it did make him angry. Now he's throwing peanuts at us." Very familiar indeed.

"Did you remove the *ouch* the boarding plank? Good *ouch* good job here. SEE YOU NEVER, YOU RED HAIRED SAVAGE" On those words, the pirate's boat took the wind and started to distance itself from its former target. It passed next to Rincewind, revealing the Morporkian embarkation. The mage began to swim in their direction, calling them as much as he could.

"HEY! HEY HEY! YOU THERE! ON THE BOAT! HEY! HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" He tried to wave his hat but began to sink even deeper. He agitated his arms to lift his head above the water. "HEY! HEY HEY HEY!"

The ship crew looked at him, with mild confusion. "One of them fell in the water. Really not that terrible, those pirates."

"Really?" Asked Stibbon, as he approached the border of the boat. "Now I suppose that we can't let him drow, that would be inhu... Rincewind? What are you doing here?"

"Stibbon? What are you doing here?"

"Oook? Oooook?"

"Librarian? What are you doing here?"

"Oook. Ook."

"Really. I did not expect you to leave the library for anything less than an urgent matter. But can we discuss that latter? Once I'm out of the water?"

"Oh, yes, sorry Rincewind. Captain, can you please drop a ladder for the poor man?" Asked Stibbon.

"Are you sure about that? This man may be a pirate."

"Do you think peoples from the UU become pirates?"

"Yes, listen to the young man, captain!" Shooted Rincewind. "Also, can you hurry, something passed right next to my leg."

The captain prepared to say something but held back. If that guy was a pirate, then he would not be much of a threat, alone, against a whole crew and an ape. He motioned for his men to drop a rope ladder for Rincewind to climb on. Nest he called for a blanket. The weather was warm, but the wind on a wet person made short work of the heat.

after a few moments for the "wizzards" to dry himself a bit, Stibbon lost patience. "So, Rincewind. Care to tell us how you ended up on this pirates boat?"

"I thought you were the one supposed to tell me why you were so far from the university. Well, anyway, I escaped an imminent imprisonment in Klatch by hiding on their ship, three days ago. Stowaway and all that stuff."

"Really. That quite a story."

"Oook."

"No, Librarian. I don't know where the luggage is. We lost each other in the great nef. Haven't seen it since." Rincewind gaze locked on the horizon a few instants, a pleased grin showing on his face. "And you? What so important that the both of you leave by shit. Is'nt it the thaumaturge's job to go fetch magical books."

Stibbon looked at the Librarian, who answered in kind. 'We can't really tell him, can we? We should try to get as little peoples involved.' said Stibbon's gaze. 'Oook!', said the eyes of the Librarian. 'But truly, we cannot take this risk. He may be part of the UU, but he might make a mess. Whenever he is involved, something bad happens.' A frown of the Librarian carried all the meaning of a single 'Oook.'. Stibbon lowered his gaze, defeated by the arguments of the ape.

"We're going to tell you, but this is a private matter."

"Oook." The Librarian took Rincewind hand and began to pull him toward the inside of the ship. They navigated inside the boat until they reached the room of the UU staff. Once Rincewind was inside, the Librarian closed the door behind them.

"So, Rincewind, something happened at the university." started Stibbon.

"What? Something bad, or something very bad?"

"Oook."

"I did not know we even had this kind of event. Non-threatening events. Why does it always happen when I'm not around."

"I did not know we even had this kind of event. Non-threatening events. Why does it always happen when I'm not around?"

"I do have a theory about that, It may be because of..." Stibbon was cut by a light push of the Librarian. "Sorry. Roughly a week ago, a strange magical phenomenon summoned an otherworldly being at the UU."

"But those are very threatening! I should know, I met a lot of them when I was stuck in the dungeon dimension. All tentacles and insects legs and more tentacles and teeth."

"Not those, Rincewind. It was just a young girl from another world. A young mage that attempted a summoning, and failed."

"God, those are even worse." The last summoner wannabe Rincewind met was Eric. And it was not a pleasant encounter. The boy dragged him through time and space. Although, now that Rincewind thought of it, he did pull him out of the dungeon dimension. "And what does this have to do with your presence here?"

"Well, you see, the girl want to go back. A perfectly reasonable desire, in fact. It also happens that the magic that brought her here is of a very special kind, that was only observed once, under Alberto Malich. The best lead we have on the subject is a book called 'theories and applications of dimensional displacement and travel', but it was sold long ago by an Archchancellor. From the information at our disposal, it seems that the last time the UU knew the book position was somewhere in Djelibeybi. Since we need this book to even understand what really happened to this girl, the Librarian and I decided to go get it personally."

Rincewind turned to face the Librarian, who was cracking open a peanut. "But are you sure you want to leave the library unattended? Especially with Ridcully and the other around."

"Oook!" said the ape, with a smile.

"I'm not going to second guess who you pick to watch over the library." Rincewind took a deep inspiration. "Well, It was nice seeing you. I'm going to stay in Djelibeybi until I find a boat to Ankh once we arrive. Good luck with your search."

"You're not coming with us? This may be the greatest magical rediscovery of our millennium. Maybe even of all times."

"Maybe, Stibbon. But I don't care much about that. I just want to go back home, and stay there for as long as I can until something drag me in another adventure against my will. Hell, I'm not sure that I will even reach Ankh, It's possible that a tempest will drive my boat toward the book in question, and I'd be forced to help you out. But I'm taking my chance here. Maybe that won't happen." He then remembered what Stibbon was mentioning at the start of their conversation. "By the way, Stib. What was your theory on my bad luck?"

"Ah, right, I almost forgot. I think that those events in your life are influenced by..." A sudden movement of the ship made him lose his balance, and he tumbled forward. "What's happening. Did we hit a reef?"

"Eeek!"

"Your right. We're still too far from the coast for that." said Rincewind. "I'm going to ask the captain."

Right as he opened the door, the captain barged into the room, out of breath from both fear and surprise. "Stay in your room. There is a sudden storm outside. It's quite violent, but the boat should be fine. But don't leave your room, a certainly don't go on the bridge. You might get thrown into the sea."

"But captain!" shouted Stibbon. "The sky was clear four minutes ago. Climates can't change this violently"

"Trust me, son, you're not the one who decide at sea. If the ocean wants a storm, it gets a storm. Anyway, stay safe. We should get out of this in a few hours tops." Right as he said that, the whole boat shook violently. "What was that? Trueman, what's happening outside!?"

"A huge log happened, captain! It hit the helm! Destroyed it in and kept going forward! I'm sorry to say that captain, but we're doomed!"

Hearing that, a single "Buggers!" escaped the lips of Rincewind.

* * *

Willikins watched Louise morosely work in the dragon barn, from the window of the mansion. A few minutes earlier, he would have felt barely any shame in his pettiness. But he had clearly underestimated young Sam social awareness and persuasiveness. A short conversation with Louise was all the boy needed to understand that something was wrong, and Willikins smirk was enough to make him have a global idea of what happened. He came to see the butler to scold him for being mean. For not thanking Louise for going to help him and his dad, and fending off the mean criminal. Willikins almost pointed out that had Louise stayed at the mansion, the watch may not have to dispatch peoples after her, and the rescue would have been faster. At least that was what Vimaire told him. But he knew that was a bit Dishonest from Vimaire. And besides, young Sam had a point. Louise's behavior was altruistic in nature. If she was bullied every time she tried to help, she'll grow up in a twisted person. Although he was still bitter, he needed to make up to her. He was the adult, he had to be the bigger person(1).

Well, being contemplative was nice, but he had some work to do. Some preparations needed to be done for the Vimaire's travel to Lancre. He'll present his excuse latter.

the rest of the afternoon went by very quickly. Louise spent the whole time cleaning the barn, feeding the dragon, and bringing tools to Sybile. She would not dare to admit it but she was starting to understand why Sybile liked this so much. The beasts were absolutely devoid of socials standards. They were not expecting much of you beyond that you feed them. No hard feeling, no promise to make, just feeding time. It was liberating. But it was also tiring, and Sybil could see that Louise needed a break.

"Louise, why don't you go get a snack and rest a bit. I can handle cleaning the tools myself, you should just rest."

"Ah, but I'm not tired." Lied Louise.

"I think you are. Besides, it's getting late. You should take a break and do something else of your day. Read a book, write a journal, cook, something else." She motioned the young girl to exit the barn. "Now go, I can manage the rest myself."

With a pout, Louise was forced out of the barn and into the house. As she entered the living room, she could smell the odor of tea being brewed. And toast being, well, toasted. A few instant latter, Willikins entered the room, with a plate of freshly toasted bread and tea.

"Willikins." Said Louise, coldly.

"Louise." Said, coldly, Willikins.

The two stared at each other. There was still enmity in the air. But Louise was taken by surprise when Willikins spoke first.

"I'd like to present my apologies for how I behaved this morning. It was not my duty to chose and bring the repercussions for your actions of yesterdays. As a proof of good faith, I have prepared tea and toast."

Louise kept staring at the butler. With surprise this time. She looked at the toast in disbelief. They seemed trustworthy. Not stale at least. And steam was coming out of the tea, so it was hot.

"There's no trick?"

"Absolutely not." He said as he put the plate on the table. "I genuinely want to make up to you."

Louise took a bite, carefully. It really was a good toast. As a 'peace offering', there was no way she could refuse.

"I do accept your apology, Willikins. Although, I do have to present my one. I may have gotten you fired yesterday, you and Purity. I should have considered the consequence my actions could have on others."

"Well, I do accept your own apology. I suppose that now we came to an understanding, you will promise to not act this way again? That you won't put yourself in danger without thinking of other's responsibility?"

Louise showed no sign of it, but in her head, she was disagreeing. 'But of course, I would do it again. I found the closest thing to a clue during yesterdays near-death experience. And for the first time of probably my life, I felt like I actually made some progress with magic, if only a tiny bit. I need some actions, and to feel like I got some power over my condition. If I keep letting danger pass and remain passive, I'm going to go mad. I'll do it again.' But she understood that Willikins would not trust her again if she said that, and she would be kept under close watch by him and the other servants of the house. Maybe he would even tell it to Vimaire, and then she would lose the remaining freedom she had.

"Of course I won't do it again, Willikins. It was a terrifying experience, and I would not relive that for a kingdom." She lied with a smile.

"Good, then. I suppose we have made up now." Said the butler. He prepared to leave the room, before remembering something. "Oh, by the way, since I have you here. In two day you, the young Sam and his parents will go to the kingdom of Lancre, for a diplomatic business. Originally you were supposed to stay here, but Vimaire prefers not to leave you alone at the manor after you proved you could escape from it. You'll have to prepare a luggage for a week. I have found clothes that should fit you, they are all in your room."

On those words, Willikins left Louise alone in the living room. Lancre. She remembered reading about it. A rural kingdom with a few famous witches. Well, maybe it was good. She may need advice from other peoples than the mages. And besides, it should be a relaxing vacation. Nothing ever happens in those rural kingdoms.

(1) Not that it was hard, with how small Louise was.

Somewhere, in the great nef, there is a powerful whirlpool of dry water that has been active for thousands of years. The current bring anything down to the deepest trench of the dehydrated ocean, where it stays there forever. The locals have a nice viewpoint to admire the whirlpool at a safe distance of a few kilometers, with a binocular glass. For centuries, they used the current to catch fish in their net, and right now they were worried that they might not be able to do that anymore. The whirlpool was weakening. Their priest theorized that something of a great power was pushing to escape the current. Maybe a forgotten monstrosity, a demon, or perhaps an old god.

The villager had all escaped to another Island, but a young man decided to stay. He wanted to see what was strong enough to go against the whirlpool. Today was the final day. The water was almost still, safe for a few tremors where the whirlpool used to be.

then for an instant, the water was completely still. The young man held his breath, both in fear and anticipation.

A small bubble of air popped at the surface of the ocean, then a wooden box with feet pushed its way out of the dried water. It was soon followed by another smaller box, then a few even smaller one. The first one turned on itself as if it was looking for something, then began to advance in a direction, followed by it's 'family'. They all quickly disappeared into the horizon.

"Wow. My uncles will never believe me."


	13. Overbearing matriarchs

So here is the thriteen chapter of my fic. I'm still preparing the second arc, so this is still a bit slow.

The end is a bit rushed, but I wanted to finish this quick. If possible, before Europe new laws on the internet are put into action.

I'm also considering starting a second fic, but I'll see where this go.

I still don't own either the discworld or Familiar of Zero.

Enjoy.

* * *

Louise looked outside the coach as they traveled through the plain of Sto. She could hear Vimaire discussing with Detritus and Washpot on the roof. They were the two agents of the watch that Vimaire brought with them. She could make out a word or two, but barely more. She tried to find something interesting in the landscape, but there was not much to look at, beyond the never-ending fields of cabbages. During her stay at Ankh-Morpork, she learned that a good portion of the local diet was made of cabbages, considered much preferable to the untrustworthy meat most shop sold. Learning that Dibbler was not the only one serving disgusting sausage was honestly a huge disappointment for her. But in a way, the city was much larger than whatever there was back home. It was probably hard to furnish high-quality meat for all the inhabitant.

"I'm sure you will love the Ramtops, Louise. I went there once during my childhood. Beautiful landscape and kind peoples. And the castle has been renovated. Maybe they prepared a historic visit? I'm sure the castle has a lot of fascinating stories to tell." Sybil was very happy to go to Lancre. She heard that the king and queen were reflecting on where to send their daughter for her education. Sybil was sure she could help, she had contacts all around the disc, and it was guaranteed that she would know someone influent that could help get the princess in the school.

"That would be interesting. I wonder how the kingdom came to be?" Back in her world, the kingdoms of mankind where founded by the heirs of Brimmir. Maybe Lancre was also founded to fight elves. No, that would be silly, it was unlikely that this world had something so similar to her own. It was probably much more simple, like a small lord offering protections to the farmer from the threat of the outside world. But this world was quite good at throwing unexpected twists so it could be a story of war and conquest. Or perhaps the legend of a married couples founding their own kingdom when their own nation had cast them out. All in all, this visit would provide her with some distraction. And she heard there were witches there. Maybe she could ask them their opinion on the problem. Not that she did not trust the mage (actually, she trusted them only a small bit), but having a second expert opinion could help. Anything to get back home sooner.

Ah, how she wanted to be there already.

* * *

Somewhere in Lancre, in a little house famous for being the home of the most influent matriarch in the whole Ramtops mountains, said woman was 'inspecting' her daughter in law. Gytha Ogg, more often called Nanny by the peoples she met, was a short and plump old woman, her face full of so many wrinkles that it had the texture of an old raisin. This woman of usually joyful and kind attitude showed a whole different face to the young woman foolish enough to marry one of her sons or grandson. And none of those ladies dared to talk back, because witches don't tend to appreciate that

"Did you all scrub of the floor good?" groaned the matriarch, as she passed her finger on the wooden slats as if she did not trust whatever they would have told her. She took a disappointed look as she realized there was no dust on it. "Mmmm, that seems good enough. I hope my dress for the birthday will be better than that."

One of the women let out a sigh. Why were they forced to go through this? Any man that joined the family was accepted as a new son, but they had to give their all just to be allowed to be in the family.

"Did one of you sigh?"

All her partner in misery took a step away from her, leaving the woman alone to face the angry witch.

"Oh, no, madam Ogg. I was just holding back a cough."

The witch stared at the poor girl. The second felt like hours until she shifted her gaze onto a newcomer in the room: her pet cat Greebo. "Ooo, look who's here. It's my wittle Kitten." Greebo was anything but a kitten or little. This cat, with a greater surface of scared skin then haired one. He was one-eyed, not that it stopped him from being a dangerous beast. He once ate a whole vampire in bat form, and the poor night creature was still missing in action. But for some reason, the old witch treated him as if he was still the small kitten she took in years ago. The cat had enough respect for the witch and received enough food to never complain about it.

Nanny Ogg began to pet the animal, under the confused look of the daughters in law. Were they allowed to leave? It took three minutes for the witch to finally tell them they could leave the room, with a tone that made it clear it was their only option.

Finally, alone, Gytha decided it was time to do a little witchcraft. She went into the kitchen and searched her drawers for a few things. Nail, string, wood stick, a small pasta necklace one of her grandchildren did for her, and finally, an egg. She took all of this to the table, put it in front of her, and took a long inspiration.

Her hands began to move very fast, seemingly in a blur. An observant watcher would notice that sometimes the same hand was at multiple places at the same time. The string moved around like a snake, surrounding the different junk the old woman had reunited, passing thought itself as if it wasn't there. Finally, her hands stopped moving, revealing a complex, and improbable mess of strings holding everything together in a way that would be impossible in normal condition.

It was a shamble, a handmade witch tool they used to amplify and detect magic. Gytha was good at it, unlike her friend Esmeralda. She concentrated on the construct, focusing on the way it moved, the noise it made, and some other things only an expert witch would know about. For a week, maybe a bit more, her liver (1) kept pestering her, warning her of something. But recently, her left lung and lower intestine had joined. Something was amiss, and she needed to find what. Looking at the reaction of the shamble, she let out a groan.

"Esme ain't going to like that!" She said as she left her house.

* * *

Getting information on the two disappeared cousins was going to be quite easy for Angua. They both lived in Elm street, in rented rooms on the same building. Incidentally, Elm Street was also where one could find Mrs. Cake lodging house, where lived differently livings, supernatural creatures, and other peculiar peoples. Angua herself used to live there when she arrived at Ankh-Morpork, although she moved out to live in the Barrack when her job got more time-consuming.

She knew most of the lodger here, and it was more than likely that they saw something that could give her a lead.

She was about to knock, but the door opened before it was even required. Mrs. Cake was a medium, and (when she wanted it) she always was a few steps ahead of everyone. Sometimes, she would put sugar in your tea before you even asked. Sometimes, she would answer your question before you ask. But this precognition was not comfortable in the day to day life, so most of the time, she turned it off.

"Hello, Angua. You're right on time, as always." The small old woman said, before walking back to her living room. She did not need to tell Angua to come in, the werewolf knew how things worked in this house. "By the way, how are a thing going in your life. That's nice, glad to hear." Even though she was used to this kind of interaction, Angua still found them somewhat unsettling.

"Mrs. Cake, you know why I'm here. I'm investigating on the disappearance of..."

"Yes, Yes, those two youngsters. Etienne's nice, he brought cakes to everyone when he took a room next door. Wanted to be on good term with everyone. But his cousin, Charlie, was very different. Not very talkative, spend all her time alone in her room, and had a rather high opinion of herself. But didn't the watch already searched their rooms? Oh, the owner had already rented them again when the watch was made aware of the disappearance? Now that's bad luck."

Angua groaned. "Mrs. Cake, could you turn off your precognition, please? It's making it hard for me to concentrate."

"Of course dear, just wait a second." The old woman blinked, and her unfocused gaze seemed to suddenly catch back on the present. "There. You were saying?"

"Well, I was about to ask you if you know who received their belonging? Or perhaps, who were they sold to?"

Mrs. cake's eyes lose their focus, this time because she was recalling the event of the sale. "The owner sold their belonging. Most went to the various greedy peoples of Ankh-Morporks." She remembered the notebook that Charlie always carried with her. "But the personal notebook of Charlie was stolen by a hooded person."

"A thievery? In plain sight? Didn't the guild react to this?"

"Not really. They considered it was way too little for them to deal with it. It was only a notebook, after all."

They heard someone opening the door, and walking into the living room. A tall man with gray skin and stitches made a small greeting, then left the room to go upstairs.

"Nicholas. He's a new lodger. A very polite undead." She looked at the clock on the wall, and let her eyes regain their hazy appearance of when she is using her foresight. "Let us cut it shorts, I need to clean some rooms. No, neither of them had made any contact with suspicious peoples, or at least none I know. And they did not have any debt problem."

Angua sighted. She could have just said that she was in a hurry, she would have made it short. "Thanks for your help, Mrs. Cake. If you want, I could tell you about some development of this investigation."

"Please do, dear. I'm worried about those two."

Angua left the house, thinking about what she just learned. So there was a mysterious thief that stole a notebook. That was strange. The notebook probably contained important information. But what really intrigued her was that Mrs. Cake was unable to tell her

more. She was a medium. If the cousins were dead, then she would have been made aware of it. And likewise, if they were alive, she could easily find them back. It was a possibility that she did not try, but using her power to something this simple was like breathing for her. If she needed to be informed about the investigation, that meant something strange was going on. Something very supernatural.

She will get on the track of the book thief. And she'll ask for the auxiliary Librarian to do some research for her. This guy almost never left his library, some activity would probably please him.

* * *

Holding firmly the mast of the boat, the Librarian tried to not be thrown out of the boat by the wind. He went outside to help the sailors, that really needed some back up against this storm that did not seem to weaken. It's been going since yesterdays. And he felt like his presence was required at the library.

He hoped the storm would not send them too far away from Ankh-Morpork.

* * *

"My sweet daughter, you make me worry so much. We should never have let you go to this gods-forsaken city to find a job. Look at yourself."

Sunny sighted. Her mother could be really annoying. When her family was informed that she was hurt, she took the first coach to the city, to bring her home. Of course, since Sunny was technically an agent in civil, her mother was told she was hurt in a fight against drunkards. This did nothing to improve her already bad opinion of the city. She was determined to keep Sunny in Quirm for as long as possible, and not let her put herself in danger again.

"Mom, I'll be fine. I live there since five years ago, and that's the first time this happens. Would you send old Ron to the city every-time he broke an arm? Because that's happened to him a lot more than to me."

"Oh, come on, that's unfair. He's a bricklayer, of course, he risks having some bricks fall on him. But you're a journalist, just like Andrea, this kind of thing should not happen to you."

Andrea and Sunny, both from the same village in Quirm, had made a deal long ago. Andrea would not tell everyone back home that Sunny is a cop, and Sunny will not tell that Andrea is not working for an important journal. The (true) journalist could not bear the shame of her family learning she makes subpar articles in a third-rate magazine.

Sunny looked outside, at the sea that could be seen far away. Well, in her state, she could not argue against her mother. Igor did say that she needed a rest for her legs to heal up. Thanks to his incredible medicine, she could walk in a week, and go back to work in two. Man, Uberwald really has the best healthcare.


	14. Lancre, the place to be

Well, here comes the chapter 14. I got much slower in my work due to my studies, but I was still able to finish it.

As usual, if you have reviews or if you see a mistake, don't hesitate to comment on it.

Anyway, have a good read.

I do not own either Familiar of Zero or the Discworld.

* * *

Everything was calm in this little flat. It was old and a bit dirty, but safe from a few prints in the dust, there was nothing that could make you think no one had used it for a long time. The biggest movement of the still air inside was merely a few spiders running after their unfortunate prey, or centipedes coming out of the damp wood they nested.

The oppressing silence of the flat was disturbed when the door moved slightly. All the insects stared at it for a few seconds before going back into hiding. Someone was turning the key inside.

Two watch agents entered, followed by the owner of this flat.

"I tell you, sergeant. She was a nice young lady that just wanted to stay here a few days. She introduced herself as Tris Fen. That sounded like a foreign name, and, well, she was…" He chose his words carefully."... she was dark-skinned, so I assumed she was from Genua and was just new to the city." Said the portly man, visibly annoyed by this investigation.

Angua groaned. She had successfully followed the trail of the notebook thief, which led her right here. But the suspect had already left.

Looking at the marks, it seemed like this woman had left only a few days ago. But what was abnormal was the lack of anything. The bed was left untouched, the window remained closed, and the only place where anybody had stayed still was the chair near the table. Most peoples in this kind of lodging eat and live outside, but at this point, this was clearly abnormal. It reinforced her theory of a supernatural problem.

It's out of the jurisdiction of the watch, she thought. We don't deal with this kind of thing, it's the mages jobs to do so. On the other hand, she could already hear Vimes telling her that even with magic and other weird things, a criminal was still a criminal. Besides, there were already many magical creatures in the watch. She was even one of them. They had stopped an affaire about golems and their ancient magic when she just started this job. So, of course, this case was there to see through.

"Mr. Baker, it seems you have been tricked. But this is an important matter. Can you describe this woman in more detail?"

The man stopped to think about. What did she look like again? She was a woman, yes. With brown hair. And… And… An empty cloak? No, of course not. Why did he think of a floating, empty cloak? But he really could not recall what she looked like. Huh, weird.

"I'm sorry, sergeant. Apart from the fact she was a brown-haired woman, I can't remember much. I'm not very good at recalling what peoples look like."

"Tch. Reg, you got anything."

The zombie was looking under the bed and answered without standing up. "Nothing for now. Well, a few roaches, but apart from that, nothing."

"Roaches? You must jest, I'm not the kind of crook that lodge peoples in pest infested flat." Lied Mr. Baker.

"Sir, do you have anything that could be useful? Do you remember her mentioning something about where she wanted to go? Anything?"

He dug inside his memory for a minute. "Ha… Yes, I think. I saw her with a pamphlet of the A.M.D.C (1). I thought she was preparing to go back home."

So she left the city? That could be bad. "I see. Well, it's better than nothing. I'll take it from here, constable" She said to her coworker. "You go to the seat of the A.M.D.C, and ask them where each diligence went in the last… When you last saw her, ?"

"Two days ago."

So right after Grumb was taken care of, huh. Maybe it scared her off. She turned again to face her associate. "You ask for a list of all the stop of every coach and diligence that left since two days ago. Then you bring a copy to Carotte, and you send a clack to the authority of each of those countries to warn them that a criminal has potentially entered their land." She stopped for a moment. "Also, warn InterTroll.(2) They might be useful for this."

"I'm on it," he answered as he left the room.

"You can leave to, . I'm going to search for a bit, I won't be long." The owner prepared to say something, but a quick glare made him understand it was not an option. He groaned before closing the door.

Alone in the dark, Angua did not bother to open the window. Her investigation method barely needed light. She took a deep inspiration and focused on what her nose was telling her. A werewolf nose is quite powerful. Even in human form, it's basically a second vision, one that allows you to perceive what happened before. Of course, it was even more impressive when she was in wolf form, but right now it was hardly necessary. Even a human could have perceived that if they focused a bit. The odor of low-quality ink had filled the room. The odor of pig grease and soot mixed together, the kind of ink you could buy by the litter for barely fifteen $AM. But where the odor was the most intense was on the chair. There was an 'imprint' of the person. They stayed so long that the smell had seeped through the air and into the occupied space itself. Even a tornado would not dissipate it.

What kind of creature was it? She'd never heard of anything like that, even at Mrs. Cake's.

(1)Ankh-Morpork Diligence Corporation.

(2)inspired by the Watch of Ankh-Morpork, some troll, with the support of their king Mr shine, decided to make a common organization among every troll, that served to track criminals no matter where they went. although, since it was only starting, and their base uniform included a club so heavy that only a troll could lift it, there were heavily understaffed. But still, they had one or two agents in a lot of countries. Some state even recognized them as an actual legal crime-fighting group. Ankh Morpork treated them more like a weird mob, but that was at least willing to work with them.

* * *

Nanny Ogg watched the coach approach the small town, or rather a big village, with a careful eye. Those were city peoples. They were weird. Of course, she knew that they had been invited and that this Vimes was actually quite the character. But she was not at ease with what she perceived with the shamble was not reassuring. She was on edge, which was ironic for an edge witch (3) such as her. Worse, Esme, her friend, and fellow witch had still not come to talk with her about what she had seen. She mentioned it to Magrat, but the young queen was too busy to do any witchy stuff. Agnes had been warned and was ready for anything, but she really needed a third witch. Witches work by three. Otherwise, it doesn't work.

Her youngest son, Shawn (4) approached the coach in his postman uniform. He had not had enough time to change to his Herald clothes, apparently. He fixed a bit his hat, readied himself to open the door, but before he could even touch the handle, it opened from the inside and the occupant went out. First, there was a middle-aged to aged man in an old watch armor. Was that Vimes? Nanny Ogg expected a man in more pompous clothes. The man then helped an imposing and tall lady to get out. Was she his wife? Well, looking at how he looked at her, she was lucky to have him. And the opposite was true. A nice couple. Then came out their son. A cute kid, for sure, the kind that would always find their way in whimsical painting.

But Nanny Ogg was quite surprised when she saw another kid, or rather teenager came out of the coach. She wore a rather conventional dress, with her hairs seemingly tied in a bun under a hat. Mmm. Curious, she never heard of the Vimes having another child, much less an older one. And the commander did not seem like the kind to cheat on his wife. Who was that girl? She needed to know more. She made a sign for one of her great-grandchildren to approach.

"Well, Matthew, come give great grandma a kiss, would you."

The kid barely made her wait. She spent a lot of time spoiling her grandkids and great-grandkids so any of them would come running the instant she called them. She grabbed him a hug

"Ah, I'm sorry, dear. I'm out of candies. But I'm sure this city girl must have come with a lot for the birthday." She whispered to him. While he made an effort to not look at the said girl, it was clear that he wanted the candies, and he would get them by any means. Nanny Ogg would just have to wait for him to 'recruit' his friend, and she would soon see the children attacking the girl like a swarm of bees on a bear.

(3) A witch that supervise edges. All edges, as in boundaries. Between life and death, light and dark, good and evil, etc…

(4) Son of Sobriety Ogg, who died a good ten year before his son birth. Don't question it.

* * *

"Well, now we arrived, Louise. Is it like you imagined?" Asked Sybil.

The young noble looked around. It looked like your typical mountain village, with a castle in the background. She had to admit that the mountain was quite the sight, but apart from that, it was not as impressive as she expected. It was, however, a step up from Ankh-Morpork. No more rotting building, stinky streets and no more disgusting 'meat' sausage sold by suspicious merchants. She also got the feeling there were fewer criminals here, but on the short time she spent in the twin city, she learned that people could surprise you by being worse than they appeared. Sometimes better, but often worse.

Still, definitely a step up. She took a deep breath. Yup, no more the air had the odor of cabbage, like in the Sto Plains. Now it carried the musk of… goats? Let's hope it's goat. Anyway, while the smell was not pleasant, she liked some diversity in the suffering inflicted upon her nose. But seriously, how come this mountain smell so much of goat? Is it why it's named the Ramtop?

"A bit different, but so was Ankh-Morpork. I'm getting used to surprise." She finally answered. This made Sybile chuckle

"I get what you mean."

Louise smiled. It was not likely that Sybil understood the constant state of contrariety and surprise she had been since she came to this world. Now that she thought about it, she was not sure of how much she missed her old one. Sure, she liked her family, but the constant bullying of her classmate was not something she wanted back.

"Candies."

Hmm, true, the candy on her world was a bit lacking compared to some that Ankh-Morpork had to offer. The Weinrich and Boettcher 'chocolate'(5) that Sybil had given her were truly exquisite. But she still had no idea of what was the plant used to make such delicacy. If she ever goes back, she will need to find those.

"CANDIES!"

She already thought of that. What else could be considered a step up from her previous life?

"CANDIES! CANDIES! CANDIIIIIIIEEEEESSS!"

"LOUISE, WATCH OUT!" She heard Vimes shout as the sound of a dozen little feet approached. She barely had the time to turn toward her assailant before she was submerged by a horde of hungry children, the oldest looking no more than six.

"CANDIES! CANDIES! CANDIES!" They kept screaming, swarming around the girl like a pack of wild animals. One began to climb on her back to see if she hid any candies in her hat. Another, unable to resist his hunger, took a bite at her leg. The rest, calmer, simply pulled her in every direction, shaking her in hope of the candies falling out of her clothes.

"Stop! Stop! Leave me alone, you little…" The insult got stuck in her throat, halted by the feeling of a disapproving stare coming from the old lady in the corner. Louise opted for a less violent one, expressed in a friendly manner. "...Rascal?" Well, the old lady barely reacted, so that was okay, it seemed. As she fought for control over her hat, she turned to the commander."Si.. Vimes, can you help me?"

He merely chuckled. "From that? You've been against bigger than them."

The kid stuck on her back looked at her pink hair with curiosity, having successfully removed the hat from the head. "Her hair's pink! Why's your hair's pink?"

"Her hair's candy." Said another child. His friend stopped an instant to look at him like if they saw a saint. Then, the one on Louise back promptly took a bite at the hair.

"OWWW. Vimes, please, I'm not capable of fending off a dozen … Kids."

"Fine, fine. Detritus, can you take one for the team?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay, make sure your helmet stay stuck on your head. But without violence." He turned toward Louise. "You sure you can't take it yourself?"

"PLEEAASE!" Now the kids were angrily kicking her legs with their little feet, because her hair was not candy, and that was treason.

He sighed. "Hey, kids. Our candies are inside the troll helmet. But you gotta take them yourself."

All the children stared at Detritus, the troll holding his helmet by putting his hand over it. An adult would have understood that removing the hand would be almost impossible, but doubt was not in the children's mind, and they jumped from Louise to the troll. He did not seem to give any care or worry about the kids climbing on his back.

"See Louise, take example on Detritus. He takes all that with a stonelike stoicism." Vimes began to chuckle at his joke. He noted to keep that one for another time.

"Haha, Hilarious. Very nice pun, but those kids really did a number on me. Look" She showed her ankle, where the sock showed the marks of deciduous teeth. "But thank you." Her words were earnest, but she looked away, still a bit vexed of the joke.

From her chair, Nanny Ogg had seen the whole scene. Obviously, since she instigated it. "Pink hair." Well, that was unusual. It seemed the city folk invented a new weird form of deviancy. It was incredible how easily they created new vogue that made no sense. Well, if it was only a girl that painted her hair pink, it was hardly something to be worried about. She stood up and went back inside, followed by her cat Greebo. She had a few preparations to make for the party in two days, and she also needed to see Esme and Agnes. A coven reunion was in order.

(5) has already been used to fend off supernatural being. They are that good.

* * *

"Quick, I saw them coming. Is everyone ready?" Said King Verence of Lancre. He looked at the staff gathered around him. All the castle was present. Well, most. Mr. Brooks, the beekeeper, was nowhere to be seen, and Hodgesaarg the falconer was still trying to get a buzzard to stop chewing his finger, so he was only physically here."Are the rooms ready? For the Duke and his family. And his men too. And for the additional person, you prepared for that as well, right?"

Mr. Spriggins, the Buttler, sighted. That was the fourth time the king asked this. "Yes, your highness. It has been prepared as you ordered."

The king breathed in a relieved manner, before taking a deep inspiration again. "What about the dinner? Is it…"

"Dear, It's still five in the afternoon. It's way too early to start preparing the dinner." Everyone turned toward the Queen, Magrat Garlick of Lancre. The witch (6), floating in her royal dress designed for someone of greater corpulence, was still able to look regal, although it was a constant effort on her part. "But as soon as they are installed, it would be a good idea to have some tea while we discuss mundane things."

"ah. Ah, yes, excellent idea, dear. Let's do that. Okay, let's go to our post. They'll be here any sec…"

The door of the throne room opened, and entered Shawn Ogg, who under his function as Herald, announced the newcomers: "His Excellency, the Duke of…"

Vimes appeared behind him. "No need for such formality. Let's skip the titles, please."

Shawn groaned. He stayed late at night to learn all the titles, and all this work was pointless. "Sir Samuel Vimes of Ankh-Morpork, and his wife lady Sybil Deirdre Olgivanna Ramkin-Vimes. And their son, the honorable Samuel Vimes 2. And..." What were the young girl's names again? Ah, right: "...Louise Framboise le Banc de la Volière." Pff, as if he would have had any problem remembering it.

"WHAT? That's not my name!" How dare this commoner mispronounce her name. "Did you even try to remember it correctly?"

"Louise Francine le bland de la vallée?"

"Still not right." Jested Vimaire.

Shawn scratched his head. Mmm. The framboise seemed closer to her second name then the Francine. Was it her third name band instead of bland? And her last name sounded a lot like voliere, he was sure of it. Why did she have a foreign name anyway? It's harder to remember, couldn't she just be fine with a normal one?

Sybil exhaled an exasperated sigh. Louise was a good girl, but she could be quite proud, and at this rate, the poor man was going to get a mortal enemy. She took pity on him and whispered in his ear the correct answer.

"LOUISE FRANCOISE LE BLANCHE DE LA VALLIERE!" He abruptly shouted.

"It's le blanc!" Louise calmed down a little, somewhat satisfied that he almost got her name right. "But apart from that, that is indeed my name."

Magrat cleared her throat, calling everyone attention back to the king and queen of Lancre. It took a second for Verence to realize that his wife expected him to talk.

"Welcome, your Excellency. I hope you made a comfortable travel, and that your stay will be as comfortable. I…" He stopped to search in his pocket a piece of paper, and began to read it's content. "we have prepared rooms for your little star honorific corresponding to the guest little star as well as for your servants slash underling slash court slash bodyguards. Our staff will bring you to your room and answer every demand you may have."

"As long as it remains reasonable." Pointed out Magrat.

Louise barely heard her, she was already having a hard time holding out a laugh. The king had just tried to read the annotation on his note. In history books, it's said he was a fool before becoming king, but that was impossible. This was peak comedy, and everyone knows fools and clown are not meant to be funny. It was a constant of the universe or any universe for that matter.

The tired look Magrat gave her was like a cold shower that calmed her down instantly. Again, there was the same feeling as when the old lady had stared at her. There was something unsettling about those women.

Once everyone was in the mood to listen, the queen talked again. "Once you are installed, I propose we take a tea to discuss a few things. Notably, we are interested in the current development happening in the city of Ankh-Morpork. We rarely have the occasion to hear about this from the commander of the watch."

"Sure, Sure, but did you prepare a troll-sized room? Because one of my men is of the stone peoples."

"Yes, we received a letter from the secretary of your patrician to inform us on who was to come."

"Excellent." Sybil looked in the room. "I do not see your daughter. Is she perhaps playing somewhere?"

Verence took a proud look while the Magrat looked at the ceiling, exasperated. Whatever it was about, there was a disagreement in the couple.

"She is studying in her room. Actually, her education is something we would like to talk to you later. She'll probably come down for the tea, however. " Said the king.

"We'll discuss this issue later if you would. Millie, please lead them to their room."

The maid bowed before turning to the guest. "If you could please follow me."

"But of course." Gracefully answered Sybile.

They advanced in the corridor of cold stone, most dimly lit by a few small windows, some other by candles and torches on the wall. But some were completely dark, although they did not use them. Louise guess was that they were probably unused. She had not seen much peoples inside the castle, so it was likely that this big building was understaffed, without enough peoples to take care of all of it. If Shawn cumulation of posts was any indicator, they were really lacking in workforces.

All of this is a bit underwhelming, she thought. She knew Lancre was a small country, but she was expecting it to be more, well, regal, by lack of a better word. The royal family seemed to have reached the throne by accident, and the castle was devoid of the courtesan, nobles, and staff she was expecting.

"We are here." Millie showed the doors of a bunch of rooms. "All are prepared, cleaned, and filled with additional blankets. It can be quite cold at night, especially this season. If you would like something, just find me or Mr. Spriggins. We'll make sure to give it to you."

Louise entered her room. It was much like the corridor, made of cold stone and impersonal as if it had not been used in a long time. Well, at least she had a big window. She wanted to open it, but her room had a fairly neutral smell, and she did not want it to be filled with the odor of goat. Besides, it would probably make the cold air in. She unpacked her things, installing herself in her room. They'll be staying here a few days, so it was best not to leave everything in the luggage.

(6) While she has done very little witching since she got married, she never lost her qualification. You can become a witch, but you can't stop being a witch.

* * *

As the moon rose, Richard was trying to keep himself awake. As a coach driver, he could not sleep on the road. He'd have to wait for them to reach an inn for the night.

He sighed. It's been a long journey, from Ankh-Morpork toward Uberwald. This was tiring, but at least the pay was good. Or would have been if he had more customer. A weird woman, a father, and his daughter. That was all. His employer was definitely going to cut his salary for carrying so few peoples.

Well, at least soon enough he'll be out of the Ramtop. No more badly maintained roads and mount and vales. Things should go smoother from here on out.

As he prepared himself to pass on a bridge he heard a loud, sonorous voice coming from the other side.

"HALT!"

Out of the darkness came out a troll with a strange insignia, as well as a handful of soldiers of the kingdom of Rubraff, the one his coach was currently traversing. While he had no idea what the deal was with the troll, he knew better than to oppose the local authority.

"Is something the matter?"

"Do you have people's coming from Ankh-Morpork inside your coach, sir?" Said one of the soldiers.

"Yes, why?"

"We've received words from Ankh-Morpork that a suspect for a case of murder has left the city."

"We'd like to look at your passenger!" Groaned the troll.

"Well, of course, you may…"

The door of the coach violently flung open, and in the darkness, they saw someone running away toward nearby woods.

"That's our target. Quick, after her!" The soldiers threw themselves after the fugitive. The one who spoke, realizing that the troll was not moving, stopped to call him again. "You too, Mica! You don't sit this one out!"

"Righ!"

All the soldier rushed toward the woods, leaving Richard alone, in the dark, around his coach. Well not alone, there was still two of his passenger inside. Maybe they were panicked. He was a professional man, so of course, he was going to tell them there was nothing to worry about.

He walked around. "Are you okay in there?"

Inside was the little girl, hugged tightly by the woman. "Yes, we are fine. This fiend tried to held us hostage but panicked." Said the woman. The poor ten years old was silently crying. It was understandable, she just saw this man...her father? That did not make sense if he was a criminal he would not have brought her.

Looking more cautiously, Richard realized that this woman was holding very tightly the girl's wrist, the skin under her grip starting to get blue. "What's the meaning of this? This man was this girl father!"

"Really? Or perhaps he abducted a child and forced her to pretend to be his daughter. A good way to cover his trail."

"That… Could make sense. But the soldiers were searching for a woman. You seem like the suspicious one here, miss. Unhand her and right now. You'll be taken by those…"

"Oh, fucking pain. I thought I was convincing!" She let go of the girl, who promptly moved away, holding her painful wrist, and hid behind the man.

"Good. Now, stay still and…" He never got to finish his sentence. With her now free hand, she pulled a knife from her dress, and lunged at him, stabbing him in the throat with an impressive speed. Richard crumbled on the ground agitated by spasm. The girl ran away, screaming loudly.

It wanted to throw itself after her, but the light of torches was approaching again. It did not have the time for another murder. With a quick look around it, it decided to go back into the Ramtop. The soldiers would probably assume it kept going toward Uberwald, and if it secretly reached a neighboring kingdom, they would be unable to pursue it anyway.

Lancre was the closest. And it had some kind of party. A wry smile passed over its face. That may be a better destination than Uberwald.


End file.
